The Dream:
Maybe CSCC gets the affliction, becomes diagnosed with Corona before our 2nd leg. The team feels liberated and plays awesome football without his toxic presence, smashing Lyon 4-0.
Chain Smoking Cancerous Clown is quarantined for 90 days, because he's considered high risk (old and a smoker). Juve go on to win the CL without Sarri trudging along pathetically on the sidelines.
Agnelli realizes, hey this team can play football without a troll of a coach, fires Chain Smoking Cancerous Clown, Goldilocks aka The Cyst, and Tootsie The Tumor on the spot.
10/10 season
Tuzzers happy.
Pavluska and his band of attention seeking Sarri Nut Huggers experience trauma and depression, realizing their hero was a fraud all along - they are then eradicated from Tuz indefinitely.
The world is a better place
- - - Updated - - -
- - - Updated - - -
Grim Reality:
After scraping by Lyon 2-0 in the 2nd leg, with late goals from Ronaldo and Dybala, Tuzzers still complain that Dybala doesn't do enough, even though he scores the goal that ensures our qualification to the QF.
We are drawn against Atalanta in the QF and most Tuzzers are happy. Sure, we can take on Atalanta. They aren't a real threat. We proceed to lose the QF tie against fucking Atalanta 4-2 on aggregate, and end the season trophy-less after Lazio pip us to the title. Sarri sympathizers still manage to find excuses, while the Chain Smoking Cancerous Clown is busy preparing his excuses as to why the season was an abject failure.
Chain Smoking Cancerous Clown is fired/sacrificed, but Goldilocks and Tootsie, the Cyst and The Tumor, fester and linger, poisoning the chalice with their questionable decisions. Tootise chases Icunti and other attackers, looking for more freebies to add to the midfield. Our midfield is still a makeshift mess, adding more band aids doesn't seem to stop the bleeding, but that's a difficult concept for Tootsie to comprehend. We try to Plusvalenza as many players as possible, replacing them with ageing geezers or over-rated has been players, offering them insane wages in the process. Our fullbacks and midfield are still a prevalent issue, but hey, there's always next year, right?
We try to get Guadiola, but he isn't interested in leaving moneybags City. After they appeal, they'll only be banned for one season. Guardiola can either stay and reclaim the EPL crown or go to Spain where Barca are rotting and Garden Gnome Tax Evading Cunt is growing frustrated.
Ronaldo talk to the Juve management about the coach appointment - he is worried about how competitive we might be. Tootsie and Goldilocks assure him everything is under control. Inzaghi wants to join Juve, but he wants to guide Lazio in the CL first - he feels he owes it to them after winning the title. He wants to oversee that journey.
Pochettino goes to Man U, and Allegri ends up @ PSG. Who will be our coach? No fucking clue. Juventus bring in Mourinho after he is fired by Spurs for having a stinker of a season. We play boring anemic football, the 2020-2021 is awash, and Ronaldo leaves at the end of it, realizing he isn't going to win the CL with this team, EVER!
We finish the 2020-2021 season in 3rd place, and our CL adventure ends, yet again, in the QF - Mourinho's negative tactics are appalling, the team is absolutely disgusting to watch. but some Tuzzers still choose to live in denial and play the role of Devil's Advocates. After all, garnering attention is more important than objectivity.
TL;DR --> We are potentially fucked!
Buy on AliExpress.com
