Kwadwo Asamoah (22 Viewers)

Carlos Primera

Carlos Primera

Il Vecchio Signore
#3,644
Mar 29, 2009
1,189
#3,644
Hydde said:
Can someone do a nice compilation in one post, of those 3 or 4 poems Carlos Primera has wrote about The black heritage?.

Man i want to have a good laught again.
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Matthew 7:7 -"Ask, and it shall be given you"

Carlos Primera said:
Rumours used to come out of the Udinese vestuario that Asamoah is the most "well blessed" man in Serie A. Di Natale used to suffer from premature shrinkage in the showers, feeling emasculated, whenever Kwadwo strode in, with something akin to a can of Coke zero dangling from his groin. This is the real reason Pozzo was eager to sell him. The Ragazza's from all over Udine (perhaps all of Venezia-Friuli) used to flock to the Stadio Friuli showers after match days, in the hopes Asa would let them take a peak at the monster, M'kele M'bembe, hiding under his towel.
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Carlos Primera said:
Asa has been smiled upon by Ogbonna, african snake god of virility and happiness, which is the reason he's packing an 11 inch ebony relic from the jurassic era under those trunks. Marchisio at times can be as limp on the field as in the bed chamber. Head down your local grocery, go to the canned goods section and find a can of vienna sausages. Open the can, and you'll get an accurate visual representation of Marchisio's endowement.
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Carlos Primera said:
Im pleased that another Mandingka warrior, of the blood line of Kunta Kinte, arrives to the club. For those of you interested in the study of human behavior, observe the raw, primal, basic instinct of the Ragazzas during matchdays. See them flock in droves towards "il vestuario di juventus stadium", giggling in mirth like school girls on a trip to the zoo, hoping to catch a glimpse, or a taste for the lucky, of the fabled giant pythons of the Sahel. Fortunately we keep 3 specimens of these creatures of legend: Ogbonna, Asamoah and Pogba. The Ebony horse is'nt just in the qitab-al-laylah-wa-laylah my friends; no, it is indeed flesh.

Benvenutti a la Juve il superiore atleto nero.
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Carlos Primera said:
Go down to your local video shop. Grab a copy of Conan the Barbarian (1982), preferably the first betamax release, and fast forward to the scene where Conan and his brigands infiltrate Thulsa Doom's "Tower of Serpents" in Shadizar. At the heart of the tower is the lair of the massive serpent. The serpent, surrounded by beautiful women who prostrate themselves in Iits worship, spends it's days being offered Vestal white virgins to 'devour'. Now replace the proper noun "Tower of Sepents" with "Il Vestuario di Juventus Stadium", and replace "serpent" with "Ogbonna/Asamoah/Pogba/Boakye" and you have an accurate visualization. Is'nt it funny how life imitates art?

If that masterpiece of cinema is'nt available then I recommend the best social documentary of recent times, "Jungle Fever" starring Wesley "pipes" Snipes.

By coincidence, Conan the Barbarian was produced by nome other then Dino De Lauurentis, ADL's uncle. This probably explains ADL's fondness for the Armero's and Zuñigas.
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Carlos Primera said:
Ahhhh, good old Barbie! I love this woman. The definitive example of a woman who has reached sexual Nirvana after having crossed over to the "dark side of the force".

When she was with Alexandre "Cinque centimetros" Pato, her eyes betrayed all the sexual frustration hidden behind the facade of perfect hair and porcelain dental Veneers. The eyes chico, they never lie.

According to gossip mags in Brazil, such as "Tempo", it takes pato about one hour of foreplay, with very firm prostate masages the most effective, to get all 5 cm hard enough to attempt coitus. It then takes a pitiful 10 seconds for him to reach his sexual crescendo, after which he curls into a foetal position and begins to sob.

Poor Babs must have thought she would go through life never knowing true "fulfillment" despite her life of celestial luxury........................... That is until a chance encounter one night with a Surinamese boa constrictor aka Seedorf.

According to one of my insider milanista buddies who posts on the shitty red and black forums, this happened a few years ago after a Milan triumph in the knockout stages of the CL. That night after the game, a melancholic Barbara was wandering the hotel where the squad was chartered, to clear her mind of dissapointment as she could not entice a fatigued Pato to "service" her.

She inexplicably stumbles upon a small swimming pool behind a groto, where she sees a sight to behold! Gliding through the water as smooth as a Giant manta ray, was a man descended from the bloodline of Kunta Kinte. Clarence stepped out of the water, musculature glistening under the pale moonlight. But what caught her eye was the massive bulge between his muscular thighs, which his speedos failed to contain. As if a moth drawn to the fire, she could'nt control herself but to approach.

After a man of the match performance and a 10.0 rating from goal.com, clarence, like the warriors of old, had the strong urge to lay with a woman after vanquishing his enemies in combat, even if it was the bosses daughter. He then relieves his speedos of their futile purpose, and the "truth" is laid bare for Barbara. A monstrosity of flesh as thick and long as a pringles can, with a head as large as a granny smith! She touches it, and takes it into her mouth like eve taking a bite of the forbidden fruit from the garden of eden.

Clarence then takes her there and then, as a black rhinoceros takes his mate in the middle of the sahara. Barbara has never flet such "fullfilment". Within minutes her body is racked by contractions of rapture as she is released from her longing. Just as the spasms begin to subside they come again and again, like the great waves battering the shores of Kanagawa. It is then that she passes out from the sheer ecstacy..................

She feels light as though she is floating higher and higher into the heavens, and looks down to see her physical form writhing underneath a chisseled dark mass. A bright light breaks through the clouds, and from the the mists emerges a massive black serpent on his throne, as long as two football pitches and thicker than a blue whale. It is "Ogbonna", African snake god of fertility and sexual hapiness. Barbara approaches his throne, and he cosies up next to her allowing her to rub his head. She has finally found herself in the Elysian fields of happiness.
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Carlos Primera said:
I can imagine it now in Turin.........

Nataly sitting by a table in the Caffe San Carlo. Beautiful and bubbly, but has no true sexual fullfillment in her life. Her and a couple of friends are sitting around, sipping on Negrino's and Cardinale's and such. Of course Mauricio and his boy, Esteban, are at the table with them, laughing, teasing and generally acting the fools. Mauricio and Esteban start to get flirtatious with the girls, and talk about Body Shots. The girls were just about game...............

................Entonces entra Carlos Primera

I whip out my Galaxy III with photo of Faustino Asprilla in "El Vestuario de Colombia", and discreetly hand it to Nataly under the table. The instant she looks at it, her eyes bulge as if she suffered from hyperthyroidism and she holds it close to her chest like the precious lost Diamond from the Titanic. Her mouth open wide enough to see her Salivary glands in overdrive. By this time, her friends Yeini and Claudia want to see, and say "¡QUEREMOS VER, QUEREMOS VER!" (We want to see! We want to see!)

By this point Mauricio and Esteban are unamused and are looking at me, as if I am trying to "cock-block" them.

Nataly shows my phone to Yeini and Claudia and there are squeals of delight, and sounds of amazement. It gets passed around, and for whatever reason, whichever "chica" gets it, she clutches it to her chest, as if it is a secret she cannot share with no other woman. Mauricio and Esteban finally get ahold of my phone and their faces betray their emotions as both turn pale, and have looks of disgust. Mauricio has the audacity to ask me "¿Hermano, porque tiene un retrato de un negro desnudo con un erecćion en su telefono? ¿Es tu un maricón?" (Bro, why do you have a photo of a naked black man with a massive erection on your phone? Are you gay?)

At which point, I smile wryly and tell Mauricio "Yo soy simplemente un peleador de la verdad" (I am simply a fighter for the truth). I then rattle off the names of a few "Black Bulls" who play for Juve: Boakye, Asamoah, Pogba, Ogbonna....... and ask the "chicas", if they know which bar they "hung" out at, no pun intended. Nataly, her eyes in a frenzy, fervously asks "¿Donde estan las fieras magnificas vagan?" (where do these magnificent beasts roam?)

I then tell them about Docks8 in Turin and that men descended from Mandingo's bloodline, such as Asprilla and Ogbonna, are there waiting for them to dance for them. They can hang out at Caffe San Carlo with Mauricio and Esteban and watch them drink Coronas, or they can take their dancing feet over to Docks8, and dance to hits like 50 Cents "In da Club". They all decide to go to docks8, leaving Mauricio and Esteban with nauseated looks on their faces.

I then re-take my seat at the barstool, wink at Mauricio and Esteban, raise my glass of Calvados and say "¡Salud!"
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Carlos Primera said:
Brotha don't play like dat. I don't think it needs to be further stated that Pogba's "Honey" worships at the altar of Ogbonna, African snake god of fertility and sexual happiness. Med students take note, this a a woman with a strong case of de "Jungle Feva". Notice how she hurriedly walks about 20 paces ahead of the superior black athlete, While Pogba stalks his prey like an Apex predator. She knows that when they get into de 'black' limousine, Pogba will grant her wish and allow her to un-button the fly on his $3000 Armani shorts, like a child fervently tearing open a happy meal box at your local McDonald's eager to get at the "Surprise". Between those Ebony thighs, muscled like a Kentucky derby Thoroughbred, crowned by a immaculately coifed hedge of african bush lies the beast 'Thulangi M'Linga'! Pogba's Little Croissant takes Thulangi in her hands, and tears flow from her eyes. She has found true happiness. As Thulangi spends his seed in her, she simultaneously spasms like an epileptic who has missed her dosage Sodium Valporate and is spiritually taken to a higher plain of bliss. As she comes to, she finds Pogba asleep next to her, naked as his birth. She caresses and kisses the slumbering Thulangi as she ponders the fact that within her body, a new life could be growing.

Do you curse the gods everytime you look down while urinating and find a pale little earth worm? Dont be a hata because you have a little Cevapi betwix your pasty legs and the wimminz prefer Black Anacondas, like Mariah Carey and Heidi Klum. Yep, you do have plenty to be angry about as your name suggests.
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DUKAC

DUKAC

Senior Member
#3,647
Feb 29, 2012
12,290
#3,647
I just realise that we will lose him on AFCON cup in January.Just remember in which form he came from last African Cup.He needs a while to get in previous shape.We will have the same problem with this Cup.
 
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