What's Italian For Transfer Window?
Whilst the Italian league continues its winter break and the players put the finishing touches to their new goal celebrations and hairstyles, the lack of actual football and opening of the giant transfer window allows the clubs with cash to plan and plot the arrival of new recruits.
Traditionally this
would mean that serial spenders Inter would buy 14 new players
, but as they are in rude health right now, they seem to be keeping their Euros in their pockets. Indeed, their recent refusal to allow Portuguese pin-up Luis Figo leave for the money-sodden sand of Saudi Arabia's Al Ittihad before his contract expired shows an admirable new approach.
Although club owner Massimo Moratti still speaks openly about his dream to prise jinking ball magnet Little Leo Messi from Barcelona's grasp, the Argentine dwarf God's buy-out clause is over £100m, Mind you, Moratti is the man who managed to persuade Barca to sell Ronaldo to him all those years ago, so he won't be giving up easily.
Who knows?
Maybe history will repeat itself as Moratti entices one of the world's best footballers out of Catalonia and takes him to calcio to partially destroy his career and love for football all over again
.
City rivals AC Milan are desperate to put their atrocious start to the season behind them, but have so far been quiet on the transfer front. The one name heavily linked is the Palermo central defender Andrea Barzagli. Dubbed by many as the future of Italian defending, the stocky stopper would certainly add some solidity to a back line which at times this season has crumbled like a Weetabix in a puddle. But he won't be cheap.
Another name which pops up regularly when discussing the Rossoneri is that of Ronaldo, although it is unlikely the well-padded panther would up sticks right now. Nevertheless, Milan could certainly do with a proven finisher, so watch this space.
One thing is for sure and that is the fact that Milan are not in the middle of a crisis. Club owner Sivlio Berlusconi said, "I believe in this group, it isn't a crisis,"
and if he says that then it must be true because he wouldn't lie
.
Not wanting to be left out, Juventus are also making headlines and testing the transfer waters. Liverpool fans look away now - there have been some very well-informed voices coming out of Turin whispering that the Serie B giants are about to make a bid for Big Momo Sissoko, having failed to replace Patrick Vieira satisfactorily since he skipped off to Inter. They are also of course sniffing around Javier Mascherano.
There is even an outside chance that the Bianconeri will end Antonio Cassano's troubled spell in Spain after club official and party boy Lapo Elkann expressed a desire to see the best of Fat Toni and see it in his homeland again. Could an austere, well-managed club like Juve be the right place for the Bari-mentalist to rediscover his touch? If one reads too much into Elkann's comments, yes, but then again Lapo was taken to hospital after overdosing on a near-lethal combo of cocaine and heroin in a transsexual prostitute's apartment in Turin in October 2005, so you shouldn't listen too closely - as a club director, he is cut from a different cloth to someone like Delia Smith.
Away from the big three, the biggest movers so far have been AS Roma, who have let Vinny Montella fly his tiny aeroplane celebration to London, and brought in mobile ex-Empoli and Valencia striker Francesco Tavano. It is a good, forward-thinking move, but the exciting striker won't be eligible in Europe for the Romans.
Popular Sicilians Palermo are making enquiries about Juve right-winger Marco Marchionni, and the switch could be used as leverage for a dramatic black-and-white swoop for the aforementioned libero/cenrtre-back Barzagli in the summer.
Rather like Victoria Beckham's musical career, Euro 2000 star Stefano Fiore (remember him?) has had a torrid time since the turn of the millennium, changing club more often than tall telly loony Russell Brand changes hairspray can, and he could be about to escape an uncomfortable stay with Torino and pull on the once-great jersey of Parma as his search for first-team football drives him out of the only Turin-based side currently in Serie A.
This may all seem slim pickings, and that's because it is. However, the window is young - come January 28 we may see a lot of activity and new faces. The likelihood of any blockbuster hold-the-back-page switches is low, but until the league kicks off again, there is just about enough to keep rumour monkeys happy.
By Sheridan Bird