We've been patient, and now our prayers have been answered as Lecce's Axel Konan has spoon-fed us a the pun we've been waiting for.
It was with child-like glee that we watched the striker, the mere mention of whom has journalists tittering, clatter...here it comes....barbarically into Milan's Brazilian magician Kakà in the second-half of Sunday's 2-2 draw and earn himself a straight red.
"A brutal foul, there's nothing else to say," admitted Lecce coach Zdenek Zeman, before going on to do just the opposite. "It's not the sort of thing we want to see and I most certainly condemn it. Kaka could really have been badly injured."
Earlier, Konan had helped take an unfeasibly large sword to Milan's hopes of retaining the scudetto by cancelling out the rossoneri's early lead, but then found himself with first choice of the club towels after a horrific knee-high challenge on Kakà.
"Konan's foul was horrific and cannot be justified," ranted Carlo Ancelotti, whose dogged avoidance of the 'b' word suggested a lack of fondness for Arnold Schwarzenegger's swords-and-sorcery classic.
"It was most ugly and inexplicable and incomprehensible. An ugly episode," Ancelotti continued, confirming our hunch.