I am a terrible person because.... (9 Viewers)
- Thread starter Bozi
- Start date
Something I do quite often is either get offended and just agree with a compliment. When I get told im too mature for my age it really pisses me off, when people say I look good or my cooking is good or i mak great coffee I normally just say 'I know'. Is that bad? My mum had a go at me earlier about it after I cooked her lunch and she complimented me on it.
Im a realist so I know that I am good at cooking etc. I dont know how else to respond when someone tells me, I don't lie so I can't act suprised.
Im a realist so I know that I am good at cooking etc. I dont know how else to respond when someone tells me, I don't lie so I can't act suprised.
The retard patrol one had me in tears 
I also do this.
A black guy dressed in fancy clothes enters a fancy restaurant in europe, he's sporting a parrot on his shoulder, the waiter upon noticing this asks the black guy "holy shit, where did you get it?"
The parrot slowly turns to the waiter and answers "this? we've got tons in africa"
What's the difference between an European elevator and an Etiopian one?
In the european one you can read " maximum capacity 8 persons, 400 kilograms"
In the etiopian one you read " maximum capacity 400 persons, 8 kilograms"
I'm also a terrible person because I remember when I was about 13, my best friend at the time and me went all alone to an abandoned supposedly haunted house. We jumped through the fence and broke in, we were looking around the place when this huge desk fell off and trapped my mate's leg, he was begging me for help but I was so freaked out that I just ran like hell away from the place, went to my house and didn't mention a word till the next day. I had my dad go look for him the next morning.
The guy wouldn't talk to me for a whole year.
There was also this time at the school when with a couple friends we made the old lady in the school's restaurant cry, I remember I proposed her marriage and the rest of my friends were chanting church songs (the lady never got married and lived alone I think). We were already like 17.
Also in our last school year we had to this community service in an old public retirement house run by some nuns. Basically we needed to spend time with those old farts in order to get graduated, my friends made them believe that I was from Australia and son of a multimillionaire (that we all were). We started making shit up like in Australia cockroaches are green and that everyone has a personal plane, crazy stuff. They all bought every single crazy bit of information we spat at them.
One of the nuns said she was learning English (we were in Colombia) and i (supposedly couldn't speak spanish) so she tried to communicate with me in english and it was fucking terrible, I was trying not to laugh histerically, then I told her her english was perfect and she was all happy and stuff (I felt pretty horrible afterwards)
We also made them believe that we would come back next week with a huge donation and that we would revamp the place and get them a lot of new stuff. Needless to say we never came back.
Oh man, I know there are many more
Once I made the friend in the first story break his face (mouth, nose, forehead) with an "I dare you bet" on his fucking birthday.
I remember shooting people on the street from my window with a paintball rifle too.
I'm horrible I know.
Im a terrible person because I find racist jokes incredibly hilarious. 90% of the jokes I know are racist, and fucking hilarious 
Yet I don't consider myself to be a racist by any means.
I once told this joke:
"Why do black people have white palms? Because there is some good in every man" when I thought it was just me and a friend, turns out a whole family of people from Somalia were walking right behind us in the park. I felt fucking horrible
Yet I don't consider myself to be a racist by any means. I once told this joke:
"Why do black people have white palms? Because there is some good in every man" when I thought it was just me and a friend, turns out a whole family of people from Somalia were walking right behind us in the park. I felt fucking horrible
A black guy dressed in fancy clothes enters a fancy restaurant in europe, he's sporting a parrot on his shoulder, the waiter upon noticing this asks the black guy "holy shit, where did you get it?"
The parrot slowly turns to the waiter and answers "this? we've got tons in africa"
What's the difference between an European elevator and an Etiopian one?
In the european one you can read " maximum capacity 8 persons, 400 kilograms"
In the etiopian one you read " maximum capacity 400 persons, 8 kilograms"
I'm also a terrible person because I remember when I was about 13, my best friend at the time and me went all alone to an abandoned supposedly haunted house. We jumped through the fence and broke in, we were looking around the place when this huge desk fell off and trapped my mate's leg, he was begging me for help but I was so freaked out that I just ran like hell away from the place, went to my house and didn't mention a word till the next day. I had my dad go look for him the next morning.
The guy wouldn't talk to me for a whole year.
There was also this time at the school when with a couple friends we made the old lady in the school's restaurant cry, I remember I proposed her marriage and the rest of my friends were chanting church songs (the lady never got married and lived alone I think). We were already like 17.
Also in our last school year we had to this community service in an old public retirement house run by some nuns. Basically we needed to spend time with those old farts in order to get graduated, my friends made them believe that I was from Australia and son of a multimillionaire (that we all were). We started making shit up like in Australia cockroaches are green and that everyone has a personal plane, crazy stuff. They all bought every single crazy bit of information we spat at them.
One of the nuns said she was learning English (we were in Colombia) and i (supposedly couldn't speak spanish) so she tried to communicate with me in english and it was fucking terrible, I was trying not to laugh histerically, then I told her her english was perfect and she was all happy and stuff (I felt pretty horrible afterwards)
We also made them believe that we would come back next week with a huge donation and that we would revamp the place and get them a lot of new stuff. Needless to say we never came back.
Oh man, I know there are many more
Once I made the friend in the first story break his face (mouth, nose, forehead) with an "I dare you bet" on his fucking birthday.
I remember shooting people on the street from my window with a paintball rifle too.
I'm horrible I know.
The retard patrol one had me in tears
I also do this.
A black guy dressed in fancy clothes enters a fancy restaurant in europe, he's sporting a parrot on his shoulder, the waiter upon noticing this asks the black guy "holy shit, where did you get it?"
The parrot slowly turns to the waiter and andswers "this? we've got tons in africa"
What's the difference between an European elevator and an Etiopian one?
In the european one you can read " maximum capacity 8 persons, 400 kilograms"
In the etiopian one you read " maximum capacity 400 persons, 8 kilograms"
I also do this.
A black guy dressed in fancy clothes enters a fancy restaurant in europe, he's sporting a parrot on his shoulder, the waiter upon noticing this asks the black guy "holy shit, where did you get it?"
The parrot slowly turns to the waiter and andswers "this? we've got tons in africa"
What's the difference between an European elevator and an Etiopian one?
In the european one you can read " maximum capacity 8 persons, 400 kilograms"
In the etiopian one you read " maximum capacity 400 persons, 8 kilograms"
Oh man, I'm going to hell.
What does a black man has in common with a cristhmas tree? They both have color balls.
I also remember that one day coming out of school a couple friends and I stole a pushcart from a homeless man and we ran away for about 3 blocks with the man throwing rocks after us.
What does a black man has in common with a cristhmas tree? They both have color balls.
I also remember that one day coming out of school a couple friends and I stole a pushcart from a homeless man and we ran away for about 3 blocks with the man throwing rocks after us.
Why do jews have big noses?
The air is free
