Have a Rant, a Moan, a Cry (29 Viewers)
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From Maddox:
Things Elizabeth Smart could have done to escape her captors.
For those of you who don't know who Elizabeth Smart is, I envy your ignorance.
The nut job who kidnapped her calls himself "Emmanuel," and I have to give him credit because Emmanuel is a much more compelling name for a cult leader than "Brian." After he became a suspect, his stepson was quoted as saying "Emmanuel is capable of kidnapping a child."
This begs the question: who isn't capable of kidnapping a child? I mean, how much effort could it take? Kids are stupid, just look at how many of them die in fires every year. Who the hell dies in a fire? How fast does the flame move anyway? Every time I burn my brother's toys, it takes an eternity for the flames to spread. A common house fire spreads about half a mile per hour. Oh no, a fire? Jump through the flames you *****. If you don't make it everyone's going to think you're a dumbass anyway, so you might as well try. Besides, think how cool it would be if you ran out of the building screaming while you were on fire. Holy shit that would rule, chicks would be humping you left and right (assuming the burns don't scar your junk).
When Elizabeth Smart was finally "freed," her father appeared on TV giving one blubbering speech after another saying "I don't know what she's gone through and I'm sure she's been through hell." I don't think he was referring to the pictures of Elizabeth hanging out at parties circulating on the Internet, the video of her having a picnic at a park, or the hippy drum circle she was spotted at when he referred to "hell."
So to help other children in the future, I've put together a list of things Elizabeth could have done to escape her captors:
1. Walked away.
It turns out that Elizabeth was held at knife-point and was as close as 10 minutes away from her home at times throughout her 9-month ordeal. Here's an idea: walk home. Or if you're a gimp, change "walk" to "hobble" and the same rules apply.
2. Don't use wigs, sunglasses, and phony accents.
If you're trying to break free, cut the bullshit and remove the disguise when you're in public. If your captor walks away from you at a party and starts drinking beer, it's a pretty safe bet he's not a prophet. What are you clinging onto?
3. Don't hang out at parties.
It kind of blows the credibility of the whole kidnapping story if you're seen at a party. Next thing you know you have to make up some crazy shit about being brainwashed.
4. Anything.
Almost a year before Elizabeth Smart was found, there was a 7 year old girl named Erica Pratt who was kidnapped, bound with duct tape around her arms, legs and eyes, and left in the basement of a building:
Did she lie back and take it? Hell no. She broke a window, gnawed through her duct tape, and escaped. She was back home the next day before her parents could enjoy the solitude of having one less kid around, and she's only 7 years old.
So keep these pointers in mind if you're ever kidnapped and you'll turn up at a party somewhere. Or a glove compartment.
Things Elizabeth Smart could have done to escape her captors.
For those of you who don't know who Elizabeth Smart is, I envy your ignorance.
The nut job who kidnapped her calls himself "Emmanuel," and I have to give him credit because Emmanuel is a much more compelling name for a cult leader than "Brian." After he became a suspect, his stepson was quoted as saying "Emmanuel is capable of kidnapping a child."
This begs the question: who isn't capable of kidnapping a child? I mean, how much effort could it take? Kids are stupid, just look at how many of them die in fires every year. Who the hell dies in a fire? How fast does the flame move anyway? Every time I burn my brother's toys, it takes an eternity for the flames to spread. A common house fire spreads about half a mile per hour. Oh no, a fire? Jump through the flames you *****. If you don't make it everyone's going to think you're a dumbass anyway, so you might as well try. Besides, think how cool it would be if you ran out of the building screaming while you were on fire. Holy shit that would rule, chicks would be humping you left and right (assuming the burns don't scar your junk).
When Elizabeth Smart was finally "freed," her father appeared on TV giving one blubbering speech after another saying "I don't know what she's gone through and I'm sure she's been through hell." I don't think he was referring to the pictures of Elizabeth hanging out at parties circulating on the Internet, the video of her having a picnic at a park, or the hippy drum circle she was spotted at when he referred to "hell."
So to help other children in the future, I've put together a list of things Elizabeth could have done to escape her captors:
1. Walked away.
It turns out that Elizabeth was held at knife-point and was as close as 10 minutes away from her home at times throughout her 9-month ordeal. Here's an idea: walk home. Or if you're a gimp, change "walk" to "hobble" and the same rules apply.
2. Don't use wigs, sunglasses, and phony accents.
If you're trying to break free, cut the bullshit and remove the disguise when you're in public. If your captor walks away from you at a party and starts drinking beer, it's a pretty safe bet he's not a prophet. What are you clinging onto?
3. Don't hang out at parties.
It kind of blows the credibility of the whole kidnapping story if you're seen at a party. Next thing you know you have to make up some crazy shit about being brainwashed.
4. Anything.
Almost a year before Elizabeth Smart was found, there was a 7 year old girl named Erica Pratt who was kidnapped, bound with duct tape around her arms, legs and eyes, and left in the basement of a building:
Did she lie back and take it? Hell no. She broke a window, gnawed through her duct tape, and escaped. She was back home the next day before her parents could enjoy the solitude of having one less kid around, and she's only 7 years old.
So keep these pointers in mind if you're ever kidnapped and you'll turn up at a party somewhere. Or a glove compartment.
This is gonna be long, but u don't havta read it, i just wanna have a cry.
So my car hasn't been starting for 2 days now but i'm too damn lazy to get it fixed. Today though, I really needed to drive somewhere so I called up the dudes who come around and fix your car.
The guy shows up, pops the hood and soon enough figures out that i've got a dead battery. He tells me I need to get it replaced, then takes a look at his van and tells me that he hasn't got the battery type I need, but he can jumpstart my car and it'll get me where i need to. Once I try to start the engine again, though, it has a 50/50 chance of not starting. He gives me a number I can call if my engine doesn't start and leaves. I had to leave my car running for about an hour because i didn't need to leave yet.
On Thursdays I have to go to uni for one hour of class (it takes about 1.5 hours to get there :groan: ). I get there on time, sit through the class and go to the car at 12:00
Just my luck, the thing won't start. I call up the number and they tell me they're sending someone to help me out within the hour. Now I didn't wanna just sit there and wait, so i went to grab a bite. About an hour later, I look at my phone because I haven't been contacted, then realise I don't have reception
So I call up again and ask if the guy came around, and they tell me that he came at 12:38, tried to call my phone but it was off. I ask them to send someone around again.
I don't wanna risk it this time, so i just wait at the gate, thinking that he'll come back soon because he was just in the area. at 1:40, he shows up and replaces my battery. While he's doing this, i put my bag, phone and keys in the car. After he puts the battery in, he asks me to try starting the car... I pull the door handle... "oh $#!^"... normally it's not a problem when i leave the keys in the car, because u need the keys to lock it...but apparently when he put the new battery in, it started the central locking system :fero:
He tells me that he'll call one of his mates to come who can open the door up, since he's only a battery replacement dude. An hour later, he shows up and opens the passenger door for me. I put my bag in the back seat and close the door. Big mistake... for some reason, the door was locking itself every time i closed it. We had to call the guy back to open the door again :irritate: I was meant to work at leave for work at 2:30, but this whole thing took a full 3.5 hours and i couldn't go. Not only that, I couldn't contact them saying I couldn't go because my phone was in the car. :fero:
The battery and new terminals cost $142 altogether...
On the way home, my "fuel empty" light flashed and i had to refuel...F$#%
So my car hasn't been starting for 2 days now but i'm too damn lazy to get it fixed. Today though, I really needed to drive somewhere so I called up the dudes who come around and fix your car.
The guy shows up, pops the hood and soon enough figures out that i've got a dead battery. He tells me I need to get it replaced, then takes a look at his van and tells me that he hasn't got the battery type I need, but he can jumpstart my car and it'll get me where i need to. Once I try to start the engine again, though, it has a 50/50 chance of not starting. He gives me a number I can call if my engine doesn't start and leaves. I had to leave my car running for about an hour because i didn't need to leave yet.
On Thursdays I have to go to uni for one hour of class (it takes about 1.5 hours to get there :groan: ). I get there on time, sit through the class and go to the car at 12:00
Just my luck, the thing won't start. I call up the number and they tell me they're sending someone to help me out within the hour. Now I didn't wanna just sit there and wait, so i went to grab a bite. About an hour later, I look at my phone because I haven't been contacted, then realise I don't have reception
So I call up again and ask if the guy came around, and they tell me that he came at 12:38, tried to call my phone but it was off. I ask them to send someone around again.I don't wanna risk it this time, so i just wait at the gate, thinking that he'll come back soon because he was just in the area. at 1:40, he shows up and replaces my battery. While he's doing this, i put my bag, phone and keys in the car. After he puts the battery in, he asks me to try starting the car... I pull the door handle... "oh $#!^"... normally it's not a problem when i leave the keys in the car, because u need the keys to lock it...but apparently when he put the new battery in, it started the central locking system :fero:
He tells me that he'll call one of his mates to come who can open the door up, since he's only a battery replacement dude. An hour later, he shows up and opens the passenger door for me. I put my bag in the back seat and close the door. Big mistake... for some reason, the door was locking itself every time i closed it. We had to call the guy back to open the door again :irritate: I was meant to work at leave for work at 2:30, but this whole thing took a full 3.5 hours and i couldn't go. Not only that, I couldn't contact them saying I couldn't go because my phone was in the car. :fero:
The battery and new terminals cost $142 altogether...
On the way home, my "fuel empty" light flashed and i had to refuel...F$#%
++ [ originally posted by Graham ] ++
This is gonna be long, but u don't havta read it, i just wanna have a cry.
So my car hasn't been starting for 2 days now but i'm too damn lazy to get it fixed. Today though, I really needed to drive somewhere so I called up the dudes who come around and fix your car.
The guy shows up, pops the hood and soon enough figures out that i've got a dead battery. He tells me I need to get it replaced, then takes a look at his van and tells me that he hasn't got the battery type I need, but he can jumpstart my car and it'll get me where i need to. Once I try to start the engine again, though, it has a 50/50 chance of not starting. He gives me a number I can call if my engine doesn't start and leaves. I had to leave my car running for about an hour because i didn't need to leave yet.
On Thursdays I have to go to uni for one hour of class (it takes about 1.5 hours to get there :groan: ). I get there on time, sit through the class and go to the car at 12:00
Just my luck, the thing won't start. I call up the number and they tell me they're sending someone to help me out within the hour. Now I didn't wanna just sit there and wait, so i went to grab a bite. About an hour later, I look at my phone because I haven't been contacted, then realise I don't have reception So I call up again and ask if the guy came around, and they tell me that he came at 12:38, tried to call my phone but it was off. I ask them to send someone around again.
I don't wanna risk it this time, so i just wait at the gate, thinking that he'll come back soon because he was just in the area. at 1:40, he shows up and replaces my battery. While he's doing this, i put my bag, phone and keys in the car. After he puts the battery in, he asks me to try starting the car... I pull the door handle... "oh $#!^"... normally it's not a problem when i leave the keys in the car, because u need the keys to lock it...but apparently when he put the new battery in, it started the central locking system :fero:
He tells me that he'll call one of his mates to come who can open the door up, since he's only a battery replacement dude. An hour later, he shows up and opens the passenger door for me. I put my bag in the back seat and close the door. Big mistake... for some reason, the door was locking itself every time i closed it. We had to call the guy back to open the door again :irritate: I was meant to work at leave for work at 2:30, but this whole thing took a full 3.5 hours and i couldn't go. Not only that, I couldn't contact them saying I couldn't go because my phone was in the car. :fero:
The battery and new terminals cost $142 altogether...
On the way home, my "fuel empty" light flashed and i had to refuel...F$#%
This is gonna be long, but u don't havta read it, i just wanna have a cry.
So my car hasn't been starting for 2 days now but i'm too damn lazy to get it fixed. Today though, I really needed to drive somewhere so I called up the dudes who come around and fix your car.
The guy shows up, pops the hood and soon enough figures out that i've got a dead battery. He tells me I need to get it replaced, then takes a look at his van and tells me that he hasn't got the battery type I need, but he can jumpstart my car and it'll get me where i need to. Once I try to start the engine again, though, it has a 50/50 chance of not starting. He gives me a number I can call if my engine doesn't start and leaves. I had to leave my car running for about an hour because i didn't need to leave yet.
On Thursdays I have to go to uni for one hour of class (it takes about 1.5 hours to get there :groan: ). I get there on time, sit through the class and go to the car at 12:00
Just my luck, the thing won't start. I call up the number and they tell me they're sending someone to help me out within the hour. Now I didn't wanna just sit there and wait, so i went to grab a bite. About an hour later, I look at my phone because I haven't been contacted, then realise I don't have reception
So I call up again and ask if the guy came around, and they tell me that he came at 12:38, tried to call my phone but it was off. I ask them to send someone around again.I don't wanna risk it this time, so i just wait at the gate, thinking that he'll come back soon because he was just in the area. at 1:40, he shows up and replaces my battery. While he's doing this, i put my bag, phone and keys in the car. After he puts the battery in, he asks me to try starting the car... I pull the door handle... "oh $#!^"... normally it's not a problem when i leave the keys in the car, because u need the keys to lock it...but apparently when he put the new battery in, it started the central locking system :fero:
He tells me that he'll call one of his mates to come who can open the door up, since he's only a battery replacement dude. An hour later, he shows up and opens the passenger door for me. I put my bag in the back seat and close the door. Big mistake... for some reason, the door was locking itself every time i closed it. We had to call the guy back to open the door again :irritate: I was meant to work at leave for work at 2:30, but this whole thing took a full 3.5 hours and i couldn't go. Not only that, I couldn't contact them saying I couldn't go because my phone was in the car. :fero:
The battery and new terminals cost $142 altogether...
On the way home, my "fuel empty" light flashed and i had to refuel...F$#%
Vicky that's awesome.
@Z: Actually to tell u the truth the battery wasn't accepting the charge from the alternator anyway, probably because the terminals were all corroded
But you didn't know that, so the joke's still on you.
btw, the wheels and brakes don't produce energy, they use it. The energy's there before the wheels move
As for the fuel, I would've run out if i left it on for that hour or not. My main concern when i left the car in the same spot was that it would overheat, so i checked it every 10-15 minutes.
@Z: Actually to tell u the truth the battery wasn't accepting the charge from the alternator anyway, probably because the terminals were all corroded
But you didn't know that, so the joke's still on you.btw, the wheels and brakes don't produce energy, they use it. The energy's there before the wheels move
As for the fuel, I would've run out if i left it on for that hour or not. My main concern when i left the car in the same spot was that it would overheat, so i checked it every 10-15 minutes.
Anyways, this is whats really annoying me:
This monday I go into the school library to return a book from a friend and then to take it myself. Anyways, as I walk in three of my classmates are in there returning the sam book so there are three copies of the book on the desk. I return the book and ask to take it myself. Shee sees I already have a book taken out, and I return it, alth a bit over due (3 weeks), so she tells me she cant give me the book. I ask her politely, as I need to read it until Wendesday, and promise to return it right away. She still says no, because if she lets me off th hook she'll have to do it for everybody. I look around and tell her there's noone there and I'm not telling. She say, and I quote: "No, I'd still know". It's not a fecking murder *****, it's just a book!!! So, she tells me I should have asked my friend to give it to me before returning it, but it cant be done anymore since she's already noted that it's returned. So I aske here if I could just take one book from the table (that my classmates returned) and get it back in two days. She says "If you're such a preson that you'd do that, than do it", meaning if you're enough of an asshole to really do it thatn feel free to. So I do take , say goodbye and walk away. I was very pleasant the whole time, I wasnt snappy or rude or anything like that. The next day the fecking vice principal comes to me and askes me what the problem was, saying that the fecking library ***** had mad a complaint and that I might get an official warning because of which I'd miss my senoir year school trip to Spain next year!!! What the fvck??? What fuvcking problem, she told me to take the fvcking book so I fvcking did! What the fvck is wrong with with these fvcking people???
I swear, if I fvcking miss my fvcking school trip I'm gonna create hell in that motherfvcking school, they better not fvck with me, I'm already waaay too fvcking pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This monday I go into the school library to return a book from a friend and then to take it myself. Anyways, as I walk in three of my classmates are in there returning the sam book so there are three copies of the book on the desk. I return the book and ask to take it myself. Shee sees I already have a book taken out, and I return it, alth a bit over due (3 weeks), so she tells me she cant give me the book. I ask her politely, as I need to read it until Wendesday, and promise to return it right away. She still says no, because if she lets me off th hook she'll have to do it for everybody. I look around and tell her there's noone there and I'm not telling. She say, and I quote: "No, I'd still know". It's not a fecking murder *****, it's just a book!!! So, she tells me I should have asked my friend to give it to me before returning it, but it cant be done anymore since she's already noted that it's returned. So I aske here if I could just take one book from the table (that my classmates returned) and get it back in two days. She says "If you're such a preson that you'd do that, than do it", meaning if you're enough of an asshole to really do it thatn feel free to. So I do take , say goodbye and walk away. I was very pleasant the whole time, I wasnt snappy or rude or anything like that. The next day the fecking vice principal comes to me and askes me what the problem was, saying that the fecking library ***** had mad a complaint and that I might get an official warning because of which I'd miss my senoir year school trip to Spain next year!!! What the fvck??? What fuvcking problem, she told me to take the fvcking book so I fvcking did! What the fvck is wrong with with these fvcking people???
I swear, if I fvcking miss my fvcking school trip I'm gonna create hell in that motherfvcking school, they better not fvck with me, I'm already waaay too fvcking pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
++ [ originally posted by Graham ] ++
Vicky that's awesome.
@Z: Actually to tell u the truth the battery wasn't accepting the charge from the alternator anyway, probably because the terminals were all corroded But you didn't know that, so the joke's still on you.
btw, the wheels and brakes don't produce energy, they use it. The energy's there before the wheels move
Vicky that's awesome.
@Z: Actually to tell u the truth the battery wasn't accepting the charge from the alternator anyway, probably because the terminals were all corroded
But you didn't know that, so the joke's still on you.btw, the wheels and brakes don't produce energy, they use it. The energy's there before the wheels move
++ [ originally posted by Zlatan ] ++
They also produce it mate. They use one kind of energy (fuel) and creat another type when spinning, the same like the breakes produce heat energy, which if transformed to another type of energy could be very useful. Hasnt Formula 1 taught you anything?
They also produce it mate. They use one kind of energy (fuel) and creat another type when spinning, the same like the breakes produce heat energy, which if transformed to another type of energy could be very useful. Hasnt Formula 1 taught you anything?
btw don't mess with librarians, they take their books very seriously. I have a theory about that... the reason why people like bus drivers are such pricks... it's all they've got. Elsewhere, the bus driver doesn't have power or respect, but once u get on the bus, they decide whether your ass is staying on or not, so they get power-hungry