Because what was found must have been everything Benitez had to say about the game?
Anyway:
CHELSEA'S SECRET IS OUT – RAFA FRANTIC WITH WORRY THAT OTHER TEAMS WILL NOW START TRYING TO DEFEND CORNERS
Unless he was looking for a specific souvenir like one of Gary Cahill's discarded corn plasters or the strips of masking tape that once held up socks belonging to David Luiz, the Fiver isn't quite sure what the Brazilian hack who went sifting through the disgusting Club World Cup final detritus of Chelsea's dressing room on Sunday was actually hoping to find. Whatever he was after, the industrious bin-dipper's discovery that at least one of the world's top football teams goes into matches armed with plans for what to do when they are taking or defending corners seems to have got certain sections of the British media very, very excited indeed.
"Revealed: Rafa's Chelsea secrets … tactics sheets from Club World Cup final found discarded in dressing room (and can they now help [Dirty] Leeds pull off a cup shock?)" roared the headline on one website, after Brazilian website Globoesporte published sensational proof, in the form of Rafa Benítez's discarded coaching notes, that contrary to what you might think from watching Reading get beaten week in and week out, not all Premier League football teams are completely winging it.
But considering the Chelsea tactics in question were all employed during a football match that was shown live on television a couple of days ago, the Fiver isn't quite sure if the term "secrets" is an entirely accurate description. If Neil Warnock wants to see how the Club World Cup final losers and Big Cup also-rans defend corners ahead of his side's Milk Cup match against them tomorrow night, he only has to watch a replay of Sunday's game. But as that's an ordeal we wouldn't wish upon anyone – ev
en the famously amiable Dirty Leeds manager – here in bullet-point form is some of the top-secret intelligence gathered by inquiry:
When Chelsea are awarded a corner kick …
• Whoever is taking it is advised to use arm-signals to give their team-mates a hint as to where the ball is going to be kicked: into the opposite stand or the chest of the first defender.
• Those big burly fellows don't lumber up from the back for fun, you know?
• Fernando Torres and Victor Moses will drag defenders left and right to make room for those big burly fellows who haven't lumbered up from the back for fun, you know?
• Don't bother trying to catch them unawares with a counter-attack – they're on to you. "BE AWARE OF THE COUNTER ATTACK" is written in red block capitals on Rafa's secret tactics sheets.
When Chelsea are defending a corner-kick …
• Ashley Cole will, if he remembers, wander out to stop you taking it short … unless he's on the phone to his Mr 15% at the time, in which case he might veer off course and crash into an advertising hoarding.
• Those big burly fellows aren't wrapping their arm around your waist because they fancy you, you know?
• David Luiz, Branislav Ivanovic, Gary Cahill and Victor Moses will mark specific members of the opposition team (or try to put them off by balancing black circles on their heads – sorry, that bit isn't entirely clear).
• As soon as Chelsea clear the "first ball" they will run out and try to do a goal.
• This is THE COUNTER-ATTACK. Be aware of it.
So there you have it – some sensational, highly classified Chelsea secrets there: when they are defending corners they try to stop the other team from scoring and when they're not defending corners they try to score themselves. And apparently this is news. But pssst! The Fiver reckons if it's litter of a genuinely complex tactical bent you're after, the bins of the Britannia Stadium are the ones to inspect.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/dec/18/the-fiver-chelsea-tactics-rubbish