* Customer: (rather irate) "Your install CDROM doesn't work!"
* Tech Support: "What error message are you receiving?"
* Customer: "It says, 'File not found'."
I verified that he is typing the correct command to run the install program. He is.
* Tech Support: "Double click on the 'My Computer' icon."
* Customer: "Ok, got it."
* Tech Support: "Now double click on your CDROM drive icon."
* Customer: "Ok. It says, 'File not found or device not ready'. Maybe I should just cancel my service since it's not working and go with another company!"
* Tech Support: "Sir...did you put the CDROM in the CDROM drive?"
* Customer: "Um, no. Do I have to do that?"
A client phoned up complaining that her PC had frozen with the cursor in the middle of the screen. The keyboard seemed locked as well so we couldn't kill the offending application. So I told her to switch off her computer and turn it back on again. After about twenty seconds she said it came back on and it was still frozen. I asked if she switched it off properly or if she just switch off the monitor. And she assured me that it was the computer she switched off. We did this again, just to be sure, and this time it only took five seconds to turn back on, still frozen. So I knew she was hit the monitor button. I asked the question again, and she got a little uptight, saying there was only one button, and that's what she's pressed.
We discussed TV-like items on her desk, and I asked if there was something else on or around her desk. After the list of pens and pencils and other assorted desk supplies, she mentioned her "CD holder."
On a hunch I asked if this "CD holder" was two feet tall and beige. Sure enough it was. We switched it off and on, and it worked. She honestly thought the computer was just a place to keep her Windows CD.
* Customer: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
* Tech Support: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
* Customer: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
* Tech Support: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
* Customer: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
* Tech Support: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
* Customer: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CDROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
I work as an unpaid tech aid at the Macintosh cluster at a school. One day I stepped out to do some repairs on a teacher's computer. When I came back, I discovered some kid had got his tongue stuck in a CD drive.
I'm sure he meant he needs something to do with his time until his exams are over, then it's CM time, right?
John, some of these are funny but some are just too stupid to laugh at :undecide:
# Tech Support: "Customer Support, this is David, may I help you?"
# Customer: "Hello, yes, it's me."
# Tech Support: "Oh, it's me too." [chuckle]
# Customer: "No, Esmie. E, s, m, i, e."
# Tech Support: "Oh, sorry."
Indeed. My friend works at tech support, and I've heard plenty of stories. I've always wanted to have a go at it, even if it's just to hear the stories. I'd probably get too frustrated though. Helping my older brother with his tech issues is hard enough.
"How do i make this image file smaller?"
"Save it as a jpeg"
"Yeah, I renamed it, but it's still the same size"
Yeah I used to think helping my family was a drag and they're pretty computer literate, most of them. If I got one of those calls I've read the transcripts from, I think I'd kill myself. Either that or just refuse to talk to the imbecile.
I must say that many of the guys on the callcenters are pretty stupid. Once when my video card refused to work properly and when all of his ideas didn't work he adviced me to reinstall Internet explorer...