Computer Stupidities Website (1 Viewer)

Martin

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2000
56,857
#2
One day I was in a public park, reading "C++ For Dummies" when someone came up and asked me what I was reading. I told him I was reading a book about C++. He responded, "Oh, HTML kicks C++'s @$$."
:LOL::LOL::LOL:
 

gray

Senior Member
Moderator
Apr 22, 2003
30,089
#3
:LOL: thanks John :)

I finish my exams tomorrow, I needed something like this to burn my time :thumb:
 
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mikhail

mikhail

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2003
9,575
#4
* Customer: (rather irate) "Your install CDROM doesn't work!"
* Tech Support: "What error message are you receiving?"
* Customer: "It says, 'File not found'."

I verified that he is typing the correct command to run the install program. He is.

* Tech Support: "Double click on the 'My Computer' icon."
* Customer: "Ok, got it."
* Tech Support: "Now double click on your CDROM drive icon."
* Customer: "Ok. It says, 'File not found or device not ready'. Maybe I should just cancel my service since it's not working and go with another company!"
* Tech Support: "Sir...did you put the CDROM in the CDROM drive?"
* Customer: "Um, no. Do I have to do that?"

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A client phoned up complaining that her PC had frozen with the cursor in the middle of the screen. The keyboard seemed locked as well so we couldn't kill the offending application. So I told her to switch off her computer and turn it back on again. After about twenty seconds she said it came back on and it was still frozen. I asked if she switched it off properly or if she just switch off the monitor. And she assured me that it was the computer she switched off. We did this again, just to be sure, and this time it only took five seconds to turn back on, still frozen. So I knew she was hit the monitor button. I asked the question again, and she got a little uptight, saying there was only one button, and that's what she's pressed.

We discussed TV-like items on her desk, and I asked if there was something else on or around her desk. After the list of pens and pencils and other assorted desk supplies, she mentioned her "CD holder."

On a hunch I asked if this "CD holder" was two feet tall and beige. Sure enough it was. We switched it off and on, and it worked. She honestly thought the computer was just a place to keep her Windows CD.


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Gray, if you've got exams tomorrow, what the hell were you doing debating religion with me? :D
 
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mikhail

mikhail

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2003
9,575
#5
* Customer: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
* Tech Support: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
* Customer: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
* Tech Support: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
* Customer: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
* Tech Support: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
* Customer: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CDROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
I work as an unpaid tech aid at the Macintosh cluster at a school. One day I stepped out to do some repairs on a teacher's computer. When I came back, I discovered some kid had got his tongue stuck in a CD drive.
Okay, enough from me. :)
 

Martin

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2000
56,857
#7
I'm sure he meant he needs something to do with his time until his exams are over, then it's CM time, right? ;)

John, some of these are funny but some are just too stupid to laugh at :undecide:

# Tech Support: "Customer Support, this is David, may I help you?"
# Customer: "Hello, yes, it's me."
# Tech Support: "Oh, it's me too." [chuckle]
# Customer: "No, Esmie. E, s, m, i, e."
# Tech Support: "Oh, sorry."
 

gray

Senior Member
Moderator
Apr 22, 2003
30,089
#9
:LOL::LOL::LOL:

++ [ originally posted by Alex ] ++
I'm sure he meant he needs something to do with his time until his exams are over, then it's CM time, right? ;)
That too, but i've also recently downloaded Max Payne 2, Fifa 2004 and Need for Speed: Underground. I should be busy :D
 

gray

Senior Member
Moderator
Apr 22, 2003
30,089
#13
++ [ originally posted by Alex ] ++
Yeah I suppose Max Payne is your average wholesome game with Christian values :D
Oh come on, it's just for fun. If I was concerned about games reflecting my values, i shouldn't play any games...even 'Math Blaster' has a bit too much slimy violence :D

It's not like it affects my mind or anything... and if you think it does somehow, I'LL KILL YA

++ [ originally posted by [LAC] ] ++
ouch. being a christian is hard work gray isnt it...
gotta put up with all these jokes and alll...
Actually, no it isn't.
I've heard some of the best jokes around because of it :D
 

Martin

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2000
56,857
#14
Stop taking my swipes seriously, you're discrediting the whole thing! :D

Working tech support must be hell based on the many colorful tales a person will hear from people who have done it. :lazy:
 

gray

Senior Member
Moderator
Apr 22, 2003
30,089
#15
++ [ originally posted by Alex ] ++
Stop taking my swipes seriously, you're discrediting the whole thing! :D
:D

You think that was serious? :confused:

++ [ originally posted by gray ] ++
It's not like it affects my mind or anything... and if you think it does somehow, I'LL KILL YA
++ [ originally posted by Alex ] ++
Working tech support must be hell based on the many colorful tales a person will hear from people who have done it. :lazy:
Indeed. My friend works at tech support, and I've heard plenty of stories. I've always wanted to have a go at it, even if it's just to hear the stories. I'd probably get too frustrated though. Helping my older brother with his tech issues is hard enough.

"How do i make this image file smaller?"
"Save it as a jpeg"
"Yeah, I renamed it, but it's still the same size"

:wallbang:
 

Martin

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2000
56,857
#16
Yeah I used to think helping my family was a drag and they're pretty computer literate, most of them. If I got one of those calls I've read the transcripts from, I think I'd kill myself. Either that or just refuse to talk to the imbecile.
 

Zambrotta

Senior Member
Nov 16, 2001
2,421
#18
:howler:

I must say that many of the guys on the callcenters are pretty stupid. Once when my video card refused to work properly and when all of his ideas didn't work he adviced me to reinstall Internet explorer...
 

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