oh..than you weren't too appreciative of my avatar skills i suppose. 
nice work then.
nice work then.
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Chxta's Space (18 Viewers)
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Nice one Vlatko. I'm reviving this thread as a favour to Don Bes. I think we have a thing going, him and I...
In the meantime people I lost my father-in-law two days ago...
http://chxta.blogspot.com/2006/10/uk-memoirs-stole-title-hehehe.html
In the meantime people I lost my father-in-law two days ago...
http://chxta.blogspot.com/2006/10/uk-memoirs-stole-title-hehehe.html
I knew that the open source community can't fail me, and they never do. Sound problem solved, and an up to speed distro to the bargain.
What I did?
In my terminal, I ran: gksu “update-manager -c -d”
Waited for 28 minutes while it upgraded the distro, and voila. I'm runnning Ubuntu 6.10 Edgy Eft with crystal clear sound!
Off to read no after all this excitement. Texazz came in safe and sound. Currently beside me keeping true to himself and beefing Linux.
For the support I have to thank The HowTo Geek.
What I did?
In my terminal, I ran: gksu “update-manager -c -d”
Waited for 28 minutes while it upgraded the distro, and voila. I'm runnning Ubuntu 6.10 Edgy Eft with crystal clear sound!
Off to read no after all this excitement. Texazz came in safe and sound. Currently beside me keeping true to himself and beefing Linux.
For the support I have to thank The HowTo Geek.
Awwwww!!!Myself and Texazz watched the movie yesterday. All I can say is damn! What an incredible movie. Definitely worth all the hype...
The story (I just have to spoil it for you guys :devil: ) :
The film began "some years ago" with Jack Nicholson talking a little about 'himself'. Touched a little on the disrespect that the Italian and Irish gangs feel for the niggers in their neighbourhoods. Loved that point where he said: "the niggers don't know that no one hands it to you, you have to take it," (couldn't agree with him more) or something along those lines. That beginning (with all its grainy images which gave it a 70s look, served as the background to show us where Matt Damon's loyalty came from. I think the people who were shot by the sea are Leo di Caprio's uncle and someone else.
The film moves to now, with Damon’s entrance into the Police. Nicholson planted him there to be his 'eyes and ears' in the police. NIcholson also smooths the way for the lad who gets record promotions. Meanwhile we are introduced to Leo di Caprio, a who is hot-tempered youth with a bad family, he also joined the police, but as a sign of wanting to break from the family. Di Caprio is asked by his boss (Martin Sheen, this film had an all star cast!) and Mark Wahlberg to infiltrate Nicholson's outfit. He accepts the offer, and is fired' from the police and spends time in prison. All this is to make him attractive to the mob. When he is released, he immediately starts selling drugs with his idiot cousin to continue his slow infiltration to the mob. After is involved in a fight with some rivals to Nicholson, he is in. NIcholson and another guy toture him to find out if he is a policeman, but he passes the test and they recruit him.
Meanwhile, Damon rises vry fast in the police and soon becomes deputy to Alec Baldwin(!), where he is very connected and able to give NIcholson lots of information. The only information he doesn’t have access to (because of Sheen and Wahlberg) is what his oga wants the most, that is whether or not there is a police informant in the mob. During this time, he meets a psychiatrist who works with both police and thief nd they start going out. Incidentally, the girl has di Caprio as a patient as well. Obviously, she starts feeling something for him too.
Both di Caprio and Damon become torn between their allegiances to either side, and soon things come to a head. Traitors are flushed out and guess what: everyone dies.
Bobs, it was a shock when that bullet entered di Caprio's head. I could watch that film over and over again. Would like to watch it this night again, but school tomorrow, so no show. But trust me, a great film worth all the hype!
The story (I just have to spoil it for you guys :devil: ) :
The film began "some years ago" with Jack Nicholson talking a little about 'himself'. Touched a little on the disrespect that the Italian and Irish gangs feel for the niggers in their neighbourhoods. Loved that point where he said: "the niggers don't know that no one hands it to you, you have to take it," (couldn't agree with him more) or something along those lines. That beginning (with all its grainy images which gave it a 70s look, served as the background to show us where Matt Damon's loyalty came from. I think the people who were shot by the sea are Leo di Caprio's uncle and someone else.
The film moves to now, with Damon’s entrance into the Police. Nicholson planted him there to be his 'eyes and ears' in the police. NIcholson also smooths the way for the lad who gets record promotions. Meanwhile we are introduced to Leo di Caprio, a who is hot-tempered youth with a bad family, he also joined the police, but as a sign of wanting to break from the family. Di Caprio is asked by his boss (Martin Sheen, this film had an all star cast!) and Mark Wahlberg to infiltrate Nicholson's outfit. He accepts the offer, and is fired' from the police and spends time in prison. All this is to make him attractive to the mob. When he is released, he immediately starts selling drugs with his idiot cousin to continue his slow infiltration to the mob. After is involved in a fight with some rivals to Nicholson, he is in. NIcholson and another guy toture him to find out if he is a policeman, but he passes the test and they recruit him.
Meanwhile, Damon rises vry fast in the police and soon becomes deputy to Alec Baldwin(!), where he is very connected and able to give NIcholson lots of information. The only information he doesn’t have access to (because of Sheen and Wahlberg) is what his oga wants the most, that is whether or not there is a police informant in the mob. During this time, he meets a psychiatrist who works with both police and thief nd they start going out. Incidentally, the girl has di Caprio as a patient as well. Obviously, she starts feeling something for him too.
Both di Caprio and Damon become torn between their allegiances to either side, and soon things come to a head. Traitors are flushed out and guess what: everyone dies.
Bobs, it was a shock when that bullet entered di Caprio's head. I could watch that film over and over again. Would like to watch it this night again, but school tomorrow, so no show. But trust me, a great film worth all the hype!
The links in this story are many, so to read them you'd have to sashay to Chxta's World...
First we have to pray for the souls of those who lost their lives in the plane crash back home a few days ago. V's dad was sitting on the runway in a plane that had just landed from Lagos when it happened. And he says that the weather was not what even a madman would fly in. Which lends a bit of credence to Borisade's claim that it was the pilot's fault. But this is no time to blame the dead. We have to pray for the man, and the others who have gone. May they rest in peace.
Now for Borisade...
Since he became Minster of Aviation, there have been at least five plane crashes in Nigeria, each one has claimed lives. If the man had some decency he should accept responsibility and resign. Instead, he keeps shifting the blame each time, this time blaming the dead pilot for ignoring weather warnings.
And this is not all about the decay in the aviation sector. Borisade is a terrible manager. This same man sat doing nothing as Minister of Education during a monster ASUU strike back in 2003 which affected a generation of Naija students including yours sincerely.
Below is the history of Nigeria's recent aircraft disasters:
*October 22, 2005: Lisa Village: a Boeing 737-200 aircraft belonging to Bellview Airlines crashed barely three minutes after take-off from Lagos en route for Abuja. All 117 passengers and crew members on board died in the crash.
*November 4, 2005: Lagos: On landing a KLM aircraft received damage when it ran into a pothole.
*November 28, 2005: Kaduna: an executive jet crashed, killing the two occupants.
*December 10, 2005: Port Harcourt: a Sosolilso Airlines plane crash left 107 dead, including a good cross section of our future.
*October 29, 2006: Abuja: ADC Airlines plane crashes killing all but seven on board, including three generations of the descendants of Uthman dan Fodio!
...and I have even neglected to mention the plane which ran into a herd of cattle in Port Harcourt!
Babalola Borisade must go. Either by sack or by resignation. But GO he must. NOW. Obj, over to you once again.
Ngozi's Interview.
The interview is still available on the BBC's website, but I don't know for how long, so I tried uploading it on YouTube, but it was rejected on account of its being longer than 10 minutes, so I guess that YouSendIt would do. The file is available in the Real Media format, which means you need RealPlayer to play it. It is available for the next seven days or the first one hundred downloads, which ever comes first, so I would encourage whoever downloads it to spread the love.
Now, some of the people whom I tend to visit more often (Fred, Jeremy and Nkem especially) are of the opinion that she put up a mediocre performance in that interview. I couldn't agree less. And I would give my reasons.
First, you have to realize that the tactic adopted by the HardTalk people has always been one of ambushing the 'victim', kind of like a hunter. And IMHO, Ngozi didn't fall for that.
Stephen Sackur's intro to the whole thing was kind of surreal, and he said that Nigeria is one of the most corrupt countries in the world (which we all know anyway). We are (potentially) very rich, what with $45 billion in oil earnings last year, so why are we still mired in poverty? Valid question. What I didn't find funny however, was his almost imperceptible implication that all Nigerians are corrupt, and that a clean up would be impossible without chaos.
No sir. And I love the way she responded to that.
"People tend to think of us as very rich. But we have to put it in context. There are 150 millions in Nigeria, we have 374 languages, and the country is the size of Western Europe. If we take that $45 billion and take it through all that it has to go through in today's economic terrain, it would still end up as slightly less than $1 per head (to the uninformed, especially on Nairaland who are reading this, it is impossible to take the entire production and share for everybody. Sorry, I couldn't resist that jibe)."
That is very true in my opinion, although she got her facts wrong about our geographical size and number of languages, (we are more like Britain, France and the low countries in terms of geographical size, and 250 languages last time I checked), but what she said about the money is true. I wonder why Sackur kept harping on the fact that there is still corruption three years after her economic team came on board. For crying out loud, we have seen cases of corruption even in God's own country, so we have to accept that corruption is a basic part of human nature. This systematic corruption in Naija has been going on since the first republic, so we can't just wish it away. And it will definitely take more than a decade for it to be reduced to an acceptable level. At this juncture I want to point out that the desire to achieve quick results without necessarily working for such results has been part of our problem as a people. To bring corruption down to an acceptable level in Naija requires a lot of patience, perseverance and toil. Not wishful thinking.
On to the next exchange, and Sackur brought up the fact that 75% of Nigerians (it is higher IMO) are living in poverty. He also brought up the fact that $300 billion has disappeared from the public treasury since 1960.
Her response: "True, inefficiency exists. Corruption exists. We admit. We recognize (a problem recognized and admitted is a problem half solved). But what I want to point out is what we have done. We have set the country on the right path. We are now on that path."
My opinion: A little too optimistic, based on the fact that touts like Lucky Igbinedion are still on the prowl, but following the EFCC indictments of September 27, I can assure you that she is dead right. You see, the major thing we have to acknowledge is the fact that Nigerians are now aware. From what people back home tell me, the economic reform and fight against corruption has become a real campaign issue for the first time in living memory, and that is where the victory lies. The fact that like it or not, Atiku Abubakar for example cannot conceivably run for president next year is a small victory in itself. That the PDP (or any other party for that matter) has not yet openly come out to endorse IBB's ambition is another small victory like it or not. What remains to be seen is whether we would have the will to follow up on these 'minor' gains. On a more personal note, I'd love to see the travel arrangements that have been made by Igbinedion, Kalu and Yerima for 28 May 2007...
The problem isn't overwhelming, and like NOI said, no economy on the planet can tackle all its problems in three short years talkless of when the problems are on a colossal scale like in the case of Naija. I have to agree with her on the result sheet. The economy has stabilized, and debt has been wiped off. We hope not to choke ourselves with debt ever again.
Sackur's next ambush was to bring up EFCC. He said: "Even the chairman of the EFCC has said that so many are corrupt." Like I said earlier, he discreetly implied that all Nigerians are corrupt. For me, that was mildly offensive. You see, earlier in this tirade, I brought up the fact that not one, not two, but at least three former governors of the US state of Illinois have been convicted of corruption. You would notice that those convictions were never while they were in office. My point is this: it is human nature to be corrupt. The onus is on society to provide the requisite checks and balances. That is where Nigeria failed. We failed to provide checks and balances. As a matter of fact, I daresay we encourage corruption in Nigeria. That is not to contradict what I earlier said about my annoyance with Sackur implying that we are all corrupt, I am taking it a step further to say (not imply) that all humans are corrupt.
NOI's response to that was excellent: "Not everyone is corrupt. There are some corrupt people, there are some who are not corrupt. But to turn the tables, the money which is siphoned away in corrupt deals where is it kept? It is definitely not banked in Nigeria. Why don't you people in the West keep records of corruption. Instead you encourage them to keep bringing the money to your economy."
His defense to that one made me laugh: "Didn't the UK do enough to recover the Abacha loot?"
Her answer: "One of our success stories. $500 million recovered from Switzerland, same from the UK, but not as much as could be recovered. It would be nice if you (the Western media) remember that this whole game is supply and demand. If your banks aren't willing to bank the loot (which your governments use to fund your projects), then the money would stop flowing."
My take: Responsio superba. Do I need to add more?
He didn't follow up that line of questioning again, but instead kept reverting to Uncle Nuhu. See, it would be foolish to say that suddenly Nigeria has no corruption again (this is the last time I would flog that horse in this article), we have to remember, most people in Naija are honest people looking for their daily bread. We mustn't let a minute minority (government officials, and gee-men) tarnish the image of the collective. And this one should serve as a call to all Nigerians. Stand up, don't let them do us in again next year.
He then brought up Fayose. Now, I believe Oria's post did all the justice that needed to be done on that issue. You see, the truth is this: Fayose's removal rings of some greed. Why was the speaker so bent on removing both governor and deputy? Why the haste in appointing a new Chief Justice when it is not the job of the state assembly? We have to ask those questions.
Like NOI, I don't accept that the anti-corruption drive would lead to instability as Mr. Sackur kept saying. There is no free lunch. Having more of one thing requires giving up something else. We have to be willing to give up something to create a better country. It is either one of the following: either we accept some upheavals and get this monster out of the way, or leave things the way they've been running since 1960, and watch Nigeria go with the wind.
She also refused to comment on the third term thing. Great! On Atiku, she refused to comment since it is an ongoing fight. But she said one thing: "Nigeria has turned a corner. The Obj-Turaki fiasco wouldn't stop the reforms. Anyone who is coming into office next would have no choice but to continue the reforms."
Now, the part of the whole thing that I liked, and which is what conferred her the extra respect she has gotten in my eyes, was her refusal to do what most (including me probably) would do. And that is to get bitter with Obasanjo over the humiliation he meted out to her by that removal. The truth (even though she took the path of the bigger man and refused to accept it) is that that action was humiliating. And she first proved her credentials by refusing to do what the likes of Borisade would do. She resigned.
Let's hear her: "No, I was moved to the foreign affairs ministry as is the president's prerogative. Yes, there's a lot to be accomplished, but this is not about the individual. I have moved on. I resigned. It was not a humiliation. I felt that there are other ways of going about things which didn't agree with what was on the ground, so I left. Yes, it would have been nice to know before the redeployment. But the important thing is that we have created something that can be carried on. Systems have been established that would go on."
On that last statement about systems being created that would go on, I can bear her witness. The internet can bear her witness. The Ministry of Finance can bear her witness. Months after she left office, no one has dared to remove the page that bears the Federation Account. We should monitor that page and make sure it remains. That is the legacy of Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala to Nigeria. Transparency. That we must not let die. That we must not forget. Ngozi, I salute you.
First we have to pray for the souls of those who lost their lives in the plane crash back home a few days ago. V's dad was sitting on the runway in a plane that had just landed from Lagos when it happened. And he says that the weather was not what even a madman would fly in. Which lends a bit of credence to Borisade's claim that it was the pilot's fault. But this is no time to blame the dead. We have to pray for the man, and the others who have gone. May they rest in peace.
Now for Borisade...
Since he became Minster of Aviation, there have been at least five plane crashes in Nigeria, each one has claimed lives. If the man had some decency he should accept responsibility and resign. Instead, he keeps shifting the blame each time, this time blaming the dead pilot for ignoring weather warnings.
And this is not all about the decay in the aviation sector. Borisade is a terrible manager. This same man sat doing nothing as Minister of Education during a monster ASUU strike back in 2003 which affected a generation of Naija students including yours sincerely.
Below is the history of Nigeria's recent aircraft disasters:
*October 22, 2005: Lisa Village: a Boeing 737-200 aircraft belonging to Bellview Airlines crashed barely three minutes after take-off from Lagos en route for Abuja. All 117 passengers and crew members on board died in the crash.
*November 4, 2005: Lagos: On landing a KLM aircraft received damage when it ran into a pothole.
*November 28, 2005: Kaduna: an executive jet crashed, killing the two occupants.
*December 10, 2005: Port Harcourt: a Sosolilso Airlines plane crash left 107 dead, including a good cross section of our future.
*October 29, 2006: Abuja: ADC Airlines plane crashes killing all but seven on board, including three generations of the descendants of Uthman dan Fodio!
...and I have even neglected to mention the plane which ran into a herd of cattle in Port Harcourt!
Babalola Borisade must go. Either by sack or by resignation. But GO he must. NOW. Obj, over to you once again.
Ngozi's Interview.
The interview is still available on the BBC's website, but I don't know for how long, so I tried uploading it on YouTube, but it was rejected on account of its being longer than 10 minutes, so I guess that YouSendIt would do. The file is available in the Real Media format, which means you need RealPlayer to play it. It is available for the next seven days or the first one hundred downloads, which ever comes first, so I would encourage whoever downloads it to spread the love.
Now, some of the people whom I tend to visit more often (Fred, Jeremy and Nkem especially) are of the opinion that she put up a mediocre performance in that interview. I couldn't agree less. And I would give my reasons.
First, you have to realize that the tactic adopted by the HardTalk people has always been one of ambushing the 'victim', kind of like a hunter. And IMHO, Ngozi didn't fall for that.
Stephen Sackur's intro to the whole thing was kind of surreal, and he said that Nigeria is one of the most corrupt countries in the world (which we all know anyway). We are (potentially) very rich, what with $45 billion in oil earnings last year, so why are we still mired in poverty? Valid question. What I didn't find funny however, was his almost imperceptible implication that all Nigerians are corrupt, and that a clean up would be impossible without chaos.
No sir. And I love the way she responded to that.
"People tend to think of us as very rich. But we have to put it in context. There are 150 millions in Nigeria, we have 374 languages, and the country is the size of Western Europe. If we take that $45 billion and take it through all that it has to go through in today's economic terrain, it would still end up as slightly less than $1 per head (to the uninformed, especially on Nairaland who are reading this, it is impossible to take the entire production and share for everybody. Sorry, I couldn't resist that jibe)."
That is very true in my opinion, although she got her facts wrong about our geographical size and number of languages, (we are more like Britain, France and the low countries in terms of geographical size, and 250 languages last time I checked), but what she said about the money is true. I wonder why Sackur kept harping on the fact that there is still corruption three years after her economic team came on board. For crying out loud, we have seen cases of corruption even in God's own country, so we have to accept that corruption is a basic part of human nature. This systematic corruption in Naija has been going on since the first republic, so we can't just wish it away. And it will definitely take more than a decade for it to be reduced to an acceptable level. At this juncture I want to point out that the desire to achieve quick results without necessarily working for such results has been part of our problem as a people. To bring corruption down to an acceptable level in Naija requires a lot of patience, perseverance and toil. Not wishful thinking.
On to the next exchange, and Sackur brought up the fact that 75% of Nigerians (it is higher IMO) are living in poverty. He also brought up the fact that $300 billion has disappeared from the public treasury since 1960.
Her response: "True, inefficiency exists. Corruption exists. We admit. We recognize (a problem recognized and admitted is a problem half solved). But what I want to point out is what we have done. We have set the country on the right path. We are now on that path."
My opinion: A little too optimistic, based on the fact that touts like Lucky Igbinedion are still on the prowl, but following the EFCC indictments of September 27, I can assure you that she is dead right. You see, the major thing we have to acknowledge is the fact that Nigerians are now aware. From what people back home tell me, the economic reform and fight against corruption has become a real campaign issue for the first time in living memory, and that is where the victory lies. The fact that like it or not, Atiku Abubakar for example cannot conceivably run for president next year is a small victory in itself. That the PDP (or any other party for that matter) has not yet openly come out to endorse IBB's ambition is another small victory like it or not. What remains to be seen is whether we would have the will to follow up on these 'minor' gains. On a more personal note, I'd love to see the travel arrangements that have been made by Igbinedion, Kalu and Yerima for 28 May 2007...
The problem isn't overwhelming, and like NOI said, no economy on the planet can tackle all its problems in three short years talkless of when the problems are on a colossal scale like in the case of Naija. I have to agree with her on the result sheet. The economy has stabilized, and debt has been wiped off. We hope not to choke ourselves with debt ever again.
Sackur's next ambush was to bring up EFCC. He said: "Even the chairman of the EFCC has said that so many are corrupt." Like I said earlier, he discreetly implied that all Nigerians are corrupt. For me, that was mildly offensive. You see, earlier in this tirade, I brought up the fact that not one, not two, but at least three former governors of the US state of Illinois have been convicted of corruption. You would notice that those convictions were never while they were in office. My point is this: it is human nature to be corrupt. The onus is on society to provide the requisite checks and balances. That is where Nigeria failed. We failed to provide checks and balances. As a matter of fact, I daresay we encourage corruption in Nigeria. That is not to contradict what I earlier said about my annoyance with Sackur implying that we are all corrupt, I am taking it a step further to say (not imply) that all humans are corrupt.
NOI's response to that was excellent: "Not everyone is corrupt. There are some corrupt people, there are some who are not corrupt. But to turn the tables, the money which is siphoned away in corrupt deals where is it kept? It is definitely not banked in Nigeria. Why don't you people in the West keep records of corruption. Instead you encourage them to keep bringing the money to your economy."
His defense to that one made me laugh: "Didn't the UK do enough to recover the Abacha loot?"
Her answer: "One of our success stories. $500 million recovered from Switzerland, same from the UK, but not as much as could be recovered. It would be nice if you (the Western media) remember that this whole game is supply and demand. If your banks aren't willing to bank the loot (which your governments use to fund your projects), then the money would stop flowing."
My take: Responsio superba. Do I need to add more?
He didn't follow up that line of questioning again, but instead kept reverting to Uncle Nuhu. See, it would be foolish to say that suddenly Nigeria has no corruption again (this is the last time I would flog that horse in this article), we have to remember, most people in Naija are honest people looking for their daily bread. We mustn't let a minute minority (government officials, and gee-men) tarnish the image of the collective. And this one should serve as a call to all Nigerians. Stand up, don't let them do us in again next year.
He then brought up Fayose. Now, I believe Oria's post did all the justice that needed to be done on that issue. You see, the truth is this: Fayose's removal rings of some greed. Why was the speaker so bent on removing both governor and deputy? Why the haste in appointing a new Chief Justice when it is not the job of the state assembly? We have to ask those questions.
Like NOI, I don't accept that the anti-corruption drive would lead to instability as Mr. Sackur kept saying. There is no free lunch. Having more of one thing requires giving up something else. We have to be willing to give up something to create a better country. It is either one of the following: either we accept some upheavals and get this monster out of the way, or leave things the way they've been running since 1960, and watch Nigeria go with the wind.
She also refused to comment on the third term thing. Great! On Atiku, she refused to comment since it is an ongoing fight. But she said one thing: "Nigeria has turned a corner. The Obj-Turaki fiasco wouldn't stop the reforms. Anyone who is coming into office next would have no choice but to continue the reforms."
Now, the part of the whole thing that I liked, and which is what conferred her the extra respect she has gotten in my eyes, was her refusal to do what most (including me probably) would do. And that is to get bitter with Obasanjo over the humiliation he meted out to her by that removal. The truth (even though she took the path of the bigger man and refused to accept it) is that that action was humiliating. And she first proved her credentials by refusing to do what the likes of Borisade would do. She resigned.
Let's hear her: "No, I was moved to the foreign affairs ministry as is the president's prerogative. Yes, there's a lot to be accomplished, but this is not about the individual. I have moved on. I resigned. It was not a humiliation. I felt that there are other ways of going about things which didn't agree with what was on the ground, so I left. Yes, it would have been nice to know before the redeployment. But the important thing is that we have created something that can be carried on. Systems have been established that would go on."
On that last statement about systems being created that would go on, I can bear her witness. The internet can bear her witness. The Ministry of Finance can bear her witness. Months after she left office, no one has dared to remove the page that bears the Federation Account. We should monitor that page and make sure it remains. That is the legacy of Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala to Nigeria. Transparency. That we must not let die. That we must not forget. Ngozi, I salute you.
This was written by a friend:
So in today's world of "adult" relationships, it seems that there are new rules in play that were previously alien to me. Apparently, dating a man gives one access to a new money source. HIM. It is understood that He Man will become responsible for certain expenses of Damsel. Credit for her phone - Check. Getting her nails and hair done - Check. Rent - Check. Car expenses or even new car - Check. Vacations - Check. Wardrobe allowance - Check. Pocket money - Check.
I have always been one of those odd women that found even gifts difficult to accept. Letter and cards, i loved. Mixed tapes and CDs....Perfume - oh yeah. As i got older, i relaxed a bit. Allowed myself to accept thoughtful gifts in my mind. Shoes, books, DVDs, CDs, the odd piece of jewelery. Those were fine in my mind because it meant that he thought about who i am and acted accordingly. I remember the first time a boyfriend gave me $300 in cash to go shopping. I almost fainted. We had the biggest fight in history and resulted in me storming out and absolutely refusing to speak to him for weeks. How dare he i thought? Trying to buy me. Paying me for services rendered? That's the way it felt to me. Paying me. So subsequent men in my life know that cash is a no go area for me.
I know that a lot of my friends have always thought me odd. And those acquaintances i know think it even odder. I have been asked why on earth i am with a man if i dont get perks? Huh? How about for company, to share my time with, because i like him, because i like how he makes me feel? That seems all well and good to some while some women have looked at me in amazement. In a world where the eligibility of a man is based on the size of his wallet, car and job.
Nigeria seems to be worse. Its actually nauseating. I have a friend of mine that works with an oil company but when he meets a woman, he claims to work for a Nigerian airline. Why? To gauge the level of interest. So far, the moment he mentions Chachangi, the look on their faces change. He is a pretty hot guy, well spoken and very put together. Its interesting to see the change: from first appreciating his looks, to being turned off the moment he says where he works. I thought he was being a bit harsh at first but i have to agree with his strategy now.
So is accepting money and allowing a man foot all bills acceptable in relationships? If it is, then how much is acceptable? Does marriage make it different? How much cash is acceptable? What kind of gifts are acceptable? And this goes both ways - for men and women.
So in today's world of "adult" relationships, it seems that there are new rules in play that were previously alien to me. Apparently, dating a man gives one access to a new money source. HIM. It is understood that He Man will become responsible for certain expenses of Damsel. Credit for her phone - Check. Getting her nails and hair done - Check. Rent - Check. Car expenses or even new car - Check. Vacations - Check. Wardrobe allowance - Check. Pocket money - Check.
I have always been one of those odd women that found even gifts difficult to accept. Letter and cards, i loved. Mixed tapes and CDs....Perfume - oh yeah. As i got older, i relaxed a bit. Allowed myself to accept thoughtful gifts in my mind. Shoes, books, DVDs, CDs, the odd piece of jewelery. Those were fine in my mind because it meant that he thought about who i am and acted accordingly. I remember the first time a boyfriend gave me $300 in cash to go shopping. I almost fainted. We had the biggest fight in history and resulted in me storming out and absolutely refusing to speak to him for weeks. How dare he i thought? Trying to buy me. Paying me for services rendered? That's the way it felt to me. Paying me. So subsequent men in my life know that cash is a no go area for me.
I know that a lot of my friends have always thought me odd. And those acquaintances i know think it even odder. I have been asked why on earth i am with a man if i dont get perks? Huh? How about for company, to share my time with, because i like him, because i like how he makes me feel? That seems all well and good to some while some women have looked at me in amazement. In a world where the eligibility of a man is based on the size of his wallet, car and job.
Nigeria seems to be worse. Its actually nauseating. I have a friend of mine that works with an oil company but when he meets a woman, he claims to work for a Nigerian airline. Why? To gauge the level of interest. So far, the moment he mentions Chachangi, the look on their faces change. He is a pretty hot guy, well spoken and very put together. Its interesting to see the change: from first appreciating his looks, to being turned off the moment he says where he works. I thought he was being a bit harsh at first but i have to agree with his strategy now.
So is accepting money and allowing a man foot all bills acceptable in relationships? If it is, then how much is acceptable? Does marriage make it different? How much cash is acceptable? What kind of gifts are acceptable? And this goes both ways - for men and women.
I just completed my Wireless Networking course work. A full month ahead of schedule. So I guess it's time for me to pour my heart out.
There was a song done by Bobby Vinton back in 1964. It stood atop the American charts for 4 weeks (I think). Most of you know it because of the version that was 'remixed' by Akon sometime back. Like most modern remakes of classical pop music, I think Akon's version was crappy when compared with the original. By the wayside, I still can't forgive Kanye West for murdering Shirley Bassey's Diamonds Are Forever, but that is just my insignificant opinion. My feeling of loneliness began when the temperatures started to drop, and though Texazz's presence, albeit briefly, attenuated it, watching him go through that boarding gate at Heathrow 2 weeks ago now was probably the worst form of amplification that the misery could take.
Verse two of Bobby Vinton's Mr. Lonely aptly describes my state of mind now:
Now I'm a soldier, a lonely soldier
Away from home through no wish of my own
That's why I'm lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I wish that I could go back home
That is my current state of mind. I am a lonely soul. Away from home, far from home though in this case, I wanted to come here, so I guess I have to endure. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm lonely. Terribly lonely. The neighbours here are the closest thing to crap anyone can even begin to imagine. Despite my attempts to reach out everyone keeps to himself. The weather which has been going from bad to worse makes matters worse because it keeps me indoors when I have nothing to do outside. That in itself makes me depressed and miserable.
I miss Benin.
I miss my parents.
I miss my siblings.
I miss my friends.
I miss U.
I miss Nigeria.
I'm so lonely. I wish I could go back home.
There was a song done by Bobby Vinton back in 1964. It stood atop the American charts for 4 weeks (I think). Most of you know it because of the version that was 'remixed' by Akon sometime back. Like most modern remakes of classical pop music, I think Akon's version was crappy when compared with the original. By the wayside, I still can't forgive Kanye West for murdering Shirley Bassey's Diamonds Are Forever, but that is just my insignificant opinion. My feeling of loneliness began when the temperatures started to drop, and though Texazz's presence, albeit briefly, attenuated it, watching him go through that boarding gate at Heathrow 2 weeks ago now was probably the worst form of amplification that the misery could take.
Verse two of Bobby Vinton's Mr. Lonely aptly describes my state of mind now:
Now I'm a soldier, a lonely soldier
Away from home through no wish of my own
That's why I'm lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I wish that I could go back home
That is my current state of mind. I am a lonely soul. Away from home, far from home though in this case, I wanted to come here, so I guess I have to endure. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm lonely. Terribly lonely. The neighbours here are the closest thing to crap anyone can even begin to imagine. Despite my attempts to reach out everyone keeps to himself. The weather which has been going from bad to worse makes matters worse because it keeps me indoors when I have nothing to do outside. That in itself makes me depressed and miserable.
I miss Benin.
I miss my parents.
I miss my siblings.
I miss my friends.
I miss U.
I miss Nigeria.
I'm so lonely. I wish I could go back home.