++ [ originally posted by Son of Samatar ] ++
Wow, fred. I bet that's an awfully small wager
Wow, fred. I bet that's an awfully small wager
Buy on AliExpress.com
Alex_samatar where are you :( ? (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter IceBlu
- Start date
:dielaugh:
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Alex_samatar in secret love child shocker
Alex_samatar, world renowned Philanthropist, Religious Leader, financial advisor to President Jimmy Carter, and Former Somali Hula Hoop Champ, was today accused of fathering a love child to Mega Babe Model, Jennifer Bo Knowles.
Samatar, currently incommunicado, is rumoured to be demanding a DNA test.
But speaking through his Agent, Arsenio McGurk, Samatar denies any responsibility for the dirty deed, even going to as far as to say it was a gay conspiracy intended to discredit him to The Faithful.
“I dinny know thing do come shocking honey trap. Damn gay football performers need ghollacks bitten off”
Stay tuned for an update
Alex_samatar, world renowned Philanthropist, Religious Leader, financial advisor to President Jimmy Carter, and Former Somali Hula Hoop Champ, was today accused of fathering a love child to Mega Babe Model, Jennifer Bo Knowles.
Samatar, currently incommunicado, is rumoured to be demanding a DNA test.
But speaking through his Agent, Arsenio McGurk, Samatar denies any responsibility for the dirty deed, even going to as far as to say it was a gay conspiracy intended to discredit him to The Faithful.
“I dinny know thing do come shocking honey trap. Damn gay football performers need ghollacks bitten off”
Stay tuned for an update
Juve Summer Transfer Shocker
This just in, courtesy of Fox Sports World:
The football world has been turned on its ear by Juventus FC's latest transfer move, the acquisition of 22 year old Striker Alex_Samatar.
Juventus will reportedly pay Samatar's former club in Somalia, CookiePants Juniors, a whopping sum of 27 million euros, plus the one year loan of Gianluca Zambrotta. When asked for comment, Director Luciano Moggi, who is currently overseeing the expansion of the juventus medical ward and psychiatric ward with the impending purchase of Christian Vieri, commented that "Samatar is someone that we've been following for a long time, and with his recent love-child revelation, we felt that it would add a certain bad-boy image that has been missing from this club since the days of Ravanelli."
When reached for comment, Samatar reacted by jumping up and down and screaming.
"Me so horny. Me love you long time"
Press conference tomorrow at 7.
This just in, courtesy of Fox Sports World:
The football world has been turned on its ear by Juventus FC's latest transfer move, the acquisition of 22 year old Striker Alex_Samatar.
Juventus will reportedly pay Samatar's former club in Somalia, CookiePants Juniors, a whopping sum of 27 million euros, plus the one year loan of Gianluca Zambrotta. When asked for comment, Director Luciano Moggi, who is currently overseeing the expansion of the juventus medical ward and psychiatric ward with the impending purchase of Christian Vieri, commented that "Samatar is someone that we've been following for a long time, and with his recent love-child revelation, we felt that it would add a certain bad-boy image that has been missing from this club since the days of Ravanelli."
When reached for comment, Samatar reacted by jumping up and down and screaming.
"Me so horny. Me love you long time"
Press conference tomorrow at 7.
LA South Central
Hair dresser to the stars, and one time Worlds Best Flatulent Pants Maker, Arsenio McGurk, was arrested today, on charges of misappropriation of an Agents License.
McGurk, 78, is reportedly accused of presenting false reports to the media. When pressed on the subject, Deputy DA Estaban Lamaz made the following statement:
It was obvious to all that a linguistically challenged individual such as Alex_samatar could not possibly get his leg over “The Body”, Jennifer Bo Knowles. This, together with the contents of a statement fancifully reported as attributed to Mr Samatar, convinced us that McGurk was in breach of his parole, and he was therefore taken in to custody.
In related news, reports coming out of Somalia tend to suggest that Alex_samatar’s imminent move to F.C. Juventus (Italy) could be in danger of collapse. Friends and former cell mates of Samatar’s are disputing the age of the talented mid-field libero, some stating that he may be as old as 39. After similar, well publicized cases in recent years, the Italian Football Association is now taking a more than casual interest on developments.
F.C. Juventus refused to make any comment at this time.
Hair dresser to the stars, and one time Worlds Best Flatulent Pants Maker, Arsenio McGurk, was arrested today, on charges of misappropriation of an Agents License.
McGurk, 78, is reportedly accused of presenting false reports to the media. When pressed on the subject, Deputy DA Estaban Lamaz made the following statement:
It was obvious to all that a linguistically challenged individual such as Alex_samatar could not possibly get his leg over “The Body”, Jennifer Bo Knowles. This, together with the contents of a statement fancifully reported as attributed to Mr Samatar, convinced us that McGurk was in breach of his parole, and he was therefore taken in to custody.
In related news, reports coming out of Somalia tend to suggest that Alex_samatar’s imminent move to F.C. Juventus (Italy) could be in danger of collapse. Friends and former cell mates of Samatar’s are disputing the age of the talented mid-field libero, some stating that he may be as old as 39. After similar, well publicized cases in recent years, the Italian Football Association is now taking a more than casual interest on developments.
F.C. Juventus refused to make any comment at this time.
Official Statement from Juventus F.C.
From the Office of Dir. Luciano Moggi:
Due to the recent events surrounding the validity of Mr. Samatar's age and love-child, we have, despite pleas to the contrary, decided to go forward with the signing of Mr. Samatar as previously reported. The reasoning behind this is two-fold. First, with the paternity issues seemingly out of the way, we can now market Alex_Samatar as the true Sex God that we know he can be for us. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, if it is true that Mr. Samatar is indeed 39 years old, then the Triad attack of Del Piero, Vieri, and Samatar suddenly makes the Triad of Myself, Bettega, and Giraudo feel not quite as old as we did before. I mean look at me, for God's sakes, I need all the encouragement I can get. I can't get a piece of booty right now even if it was left behind to me in a will.
In related news, sales of Juventus #69 jerseys bearing the name Samatar rose 522% in his native Somalia.
From the Office of Dir. Luciano Moggi:
Due to the recent events surrounding the validity of Mr. Samatar's age and love-child, we have, despite pleas to the contrary, decided to go forward with the signing of Mr. Samatar as previously reported. The reasoning behind this is two-fold. First, with the paternity issues seemingly out of the way, we can now market Alex_Samatar as the true Sex God that we know he can be for us. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, if it is true that Mr. Samatar is indeed 39 years old, then the Triad attack of Del Piero, Vieri, and Samatar suddenly makes the Triad of Myself, Bettega, and Giraudo feel not quite as old as we did before. I mean look at me, for God's sakes, I need all the encouragement I can get. I can't get a piece of booty right now even if it was left behind to me in a will.
In related news, sales of Juventus #69 jerseys bearing the name Samatar rose 522% in his native Somalia.
