LA South Central
Hair dresser to the stars, and one time Worlds Best Flatulent Pants Maker, Arsenio McGurk, was arrested today, on charges of misappropriation of an Agents License.
McGurk, 78, is reportedly accused of presenting false reports to the media. When pressed on the subject, Deputy DA Estaban Lamaz made the following statement:
It was obvious to all that a linguistically challenged individual such as Alex_samatar could not possibly get his leg over “The Body”, Jennifer Bo Knowles. This, together with the contents of a statement fancifully reported as attributed to Mr Samatar, convinced us that McGurk was in breach of his parole, and he was therefore taken in to custody.
In related news, reports coming out of Somalia tend to suggest that Alex_samatar’s imminent move to F.C. Juventus (Italy) could be in danger of collapse. Friends and former cell mates of Samatar’s are disputing the age of the talented mid-field libero, some stating that he may be as old as 39. After similar, well publicized cases in recent years, the Italian Football Association is now taking a more than casual interest on developments.
F.C. Juventus refused to make any comment at this time.