It's a personal choice. I'm all for it because I'm with someone for the past 16 years where marriage works for us. We have been married for only half of that (more on that in a sec), and we have no children nor plans on having children. If it was most anybody else, I'd probably be against marriage. 
But I know a lot of people who think they want marriage and have no clue (external expectations thrust upon them), or it's the worst thing for them, or they look to get something out of it differently than myself or most people (e.g., the serial marrying type).
So back to the natural question for me -- the difference in being together unmarried or married, since I've done 8 years of each so far with the same person. At first, I didn't think she was into the marriage thing so much and that was fine by me. She used to tell me how one of her ideal couples was friends who had been together for eons, far longer than most marriages, but never got married.
But as time went on, I saw that she'd like to. And I saw that it's easy for me to sit on the fence forever and just avoid the question. With a lot of longtime friends who haven't been married, the question is usually, "What does marriage offer that you don't have already? You can always get divorced like a lot of people." Absolutely true. As with all long-term relationships, it takes two people to make it work and only one person to screw it up for both. I've seen friends' marriages disintegrate in that time too since I've been married, which has mentally raised the bar of how truly "permanent" any relationship really is beyond making it work for you right now and in the near future. (You can't count on the rest in the long-term future.)
But marriage did signify at least a symbolic thing for me -- either to piss or get off the pot. When we weren't married, I had no intention of leaving but I had it in the back of my head that it would be easier if I wanted to/had to. But then going through marriage and a wedding was a bit of a commitment between ourselves and for all the friends and family around us we brought in as a support network... that we wanted to make this work for the long term.
And with it does come things like planning your life longer term, things like finances and relatives (both pros and cons with in-law families), plus some legal advantages such as less hassles in case of emergency medical decisions or visitation rights, estate taxes in case of death, etc. A lot of the stuff that when you're younger and think you're immortal you put off and presume it will never apply to you, but it always does in the end.
So being married versus not being married and living together is different for us. Not a massive one, say if we had children. But it's at least a symbolic one and one we've shared with close friends and family. As someone who has been married for almost 9 years now, I can say its an institution I endorse, but only for the right people under the right circumstances. It's not for everybody.
But I know a lot of people who think they want marriage and have no clue (external expectations thrust upon them), or it's the worst thing for them, or they look to get something out of it differently than myself or most people (e.g., the serial marrying type).
So back to the natural question for me -- the difference in being together unmarried or married, since I've done 8 years of each so far with the same person. At first, I didn't think she was into the marriage thing so much and that was fine by me. She used to tell me how one of her ideal couples was friends who had been together for eons, far longer than most marriages, but never got married.
But as time went on, I saw that she'd like to. And I saw that it's easy for me to sit on the fence forever and just avoid the question. With a lot of longtime friends who haven't been married, the question is usually, "What does marriage offer that you don't have already? You can always get divorced like a lot of people." Absolutely true. As with all long-term relationships, it takes two people to make it work and only one person to screw it up for both. I've seen friends' marriages disintegrate in that time too since I've been married, which has mentally raised the bar of how truly "permanent" any relationship really is beyond making it work for you right now and in the near future. (You can't count on the rest in the long-term future.)
But marriage did signify at least a symbolic thing for me -- either to piss or get off the pot. When we weren't married, I had no intention of leaving but I had it in the back of my head that it would be easier if I wanted to/had to. But then going through marriage and a wedding was a bit of a commitment between ourselves and for all the friends and family around us we brought in as a support network... that we wanted to make this work for the long term.
And with it does come things like planning your life longer term, things like finances and relatives (both pros and cons with in-law families), plus some legal advantages such as less hassles in case of emergency medical decisions or visitation rights, estate taxes in case of death, etc. A lot of the stuff that when you're younger and think you're immortal you put off and presume it will never apply to you, but it always does in the end.
So being married versus not being married and living together is different for us. Not a massive one, say if we had children. But it's at least a symbolic one and one we've shared with close friends and family. As someone who has been married for almost 9 years now, I can say its an institution I endorse, but only for the right people under the right circumstances. It's not for everybody.
Buy on AliExpress.com
