With or against Marriage? (6 Viewers)

With marriage or against it?

  • Marry

  • Don't marry

  • I'm undecided

  • I don't really care


Results are only viewable after voting.

swag

L'autista
Administrator
Sep 23, 2003
84,142
#61
It's a personal choice. I'm all for it because I'm with someone for the past 16 years where marriage works for us. We have been married for only half of that (more on that in a sec), and we have no children nor plans on having children. If it was most anybody else, I'd probably be against marriage. :p

But I know a lot of people who think they want marriage and have no clue (external expectations thrust upon them), or it's the worst thing for them, or they look to get something out of it differently than myself or most people (e.g., the serial marrying type).

So back to the natural question for me -- the difference in being together unmarried or married, since I've done 8 years of each so far with the same person. At first, I didn't think she was into the marriage thing so much and that was fine by me. She used to tell me how one of her ideal couples was friends who had been together for eons, far longer than most marriages, but never got married.

But as time went on, I saw that she'd like to. And I saw that it's easy for me to sit on the fence forever and just avoid the question. With a lot of longtime friends who haven't been married, the question is usually, "What does marriage offer that you don't have already? You can always get divorced like a lot of people." Absolutely true. As with all long-term relationships, it takes two people to make it work and only one person to screw it up for both. I've seen friends' marriages disintegrate in that time too since I've been married, which has mentally raised the bar of how truly "permanent" any relationship really is beyond making it work for you right now and in the near future. (You can't count on the rest in the long-term future.)

But marriage did signify at least a symbolic thing for me -- either to piss or get off the pot. When we weren't married, I had no intention of leaving but I had it in the back of my head that it would be easier if I wanted to/had to. But then going through marriage and a wedding was a bit of a commitment between ourselves and for all the friends and family around us we brought in as a support network... that we wanted to make this work for the long term.

And with it does come things like planning your life longer term, things like finances and relatives (both pros and cons with in-law families), plus some legal advantages such as less hassles in case of emergency medical decisions or visitation rights, estate taxes in case of death, etc. A lot of the stuff that when you're younger and think you're immortal you put off and presume it will never apply to you, but it always does in the end.

So being married versus not being married and living together is different for us. Not a massive one, say if we had children. But it's at least a symbolic one and one we've shared with close friends and family. As someone who has been married for almost 9 years now, I can say its an institution I endorse, but only for the right people under the right circumstances. It's not for everybody.
 

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Kate

Moderator
Feb 7, 2011
18,595
#71
I really don't care. I don't mind for me, and I certainly don't care about other people. Maybe one day I will change my mind, but I imagine if I do get married then it will be for immigration purposes :)
 

Fred

Senior Member
Oct 2, 2003
41,113
#73
Only with the right girl.
Meaning, I would never get married cause of the outside pressure or if I had no other option than some girl, or if I/others felt that it was time.
So if I have to settle for someone, I ain't getting married ever. Better to masturbate all life than being obliged to live with someone you're not really willing to enjoy your life with.
Lol :D
I am for marriage if the couple decide to. But have no problems with the other option too.

And considering my family and relatives a relationship without marriage is pretty much unacceptable. I could probably go against their will, but I know that my mom won't like it. Not one bit. And at her age, I don't want to give her any more worries. I've already resigned to the fact that my marriage will be arranged. It's only a matter of time.
What? Thats terrible. Are you ok with that?

Kinda neutral on this one.

I'd make a wedding if I'm allowed to carry two guns.
I'd have thought that after years of going to the gym almost every day, you would have found the right guy for you by now.
 

Preet

Powerpuff G!
Sep 7, 2010
3,522
#79
For the wedding or more?
Because I believe in marriage and for the wedding party of course :)

WΏΏdy;3126544 said:
You have come to the right place then :D Just post your picture in the members thread.
I'm not used to post my pictures online Woody but I will think of it :) maybe tomorrow I'm too tired tonight
 

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