Something like this deserves a rebuttal...
Agreed. That damn trophy is really hideous. It could only improve if they made it out of chocolate covered in gold foil, and the winning team eats it on the podium.
Scores which are almost inevitably kicks made by former soccer players.
Sudden death encourages teams to wimp out as soon as they think they're in field goal range. So instead of teams going for the jugular, we get this hashmark-positioning dance and intentional underachievement to win a game to set up, you guessed it, the one guy on the team who has previously played semi-pro soccer.
But have you seen the joke they call overtime in college football? It makes penalty kicks seem actually relevant by comparison -- instead of a pickup game of tiddly winks.
Though we run a high risk of missing it during a beer commercial.
Apparently Fox hasn't heard of club football.
It would otherwise get in the way of that important two week playing hiatus for a self-indulgent, pointless media circus.
Important, since they are much worse athletes than 400-pound Samoans.
Some of which, as in college games, are men.
Some of which, as in college games, are men. (I know this piques Erik's interest, but it doesn't sell more beer.)
However, there is a need to explain to the world's 6 billion other people why you call it "football".
...in manly golf carts, no less.
Just Magic Markers.
Oh, and btw, helmets are uncool for bikers. And they're just as uncool for football players.
For about 10 seconds, and then spend the rest of the remaining minute taking a powder.
Of which those final couple minutes literally lasts 90 real-time minutes.
Who still invariably learned how to play in that other football.
In our football, we call the game "football" and yet more than one player actually puts their foot on it during play.
And yet the sport's smallest and weakest players are invariably the top scorers of the league.
However, even players ejected for first-degree murder on the field get to be replaced -- as the offending team could not physically cope with, let alone exist, being a man down.
Unless it's a roughing the kicker or roughing the passer penalty... Hmmm. Now how coincidental is
that?!
...because players break for tea after 10 seconds of play, there's no need to rest.
Because there's a Chinese menu of scoring opportunities that must be consulted first.
Because overtime is typically decided by a coin toss, an election to receive, and an underachieving gallop to quit at about the 20 yard line to try a field goal.
And yet the rules state that only one player can be in motion on the team with the ball at any given time.
I wouldn't bet money on that, given our baseball dominance over a nation like Cuba, loaded with big league star names.
Fat guys can't play. Unless you're Ronaldo.
Which only partially makes up for the 80% of every minute spent standing around. And if your three subs are up, tough luck if you lost your spleen on the pitch -- you're not getting a sub.
And an endless assault of bad beer, truck, and financial services commercials.
Like Joe "Turkey" Jones on the Browns against Terry Bradshaw? Or do you mean the penalties and possible ejections for helmets to the head? There are good and bad crushing tackles in both sports.
For a sport that thinks of itself as so tough, many of their fans would fear for their lives before attending one of our football matches.
Our fans sing songs in unison, light flares, throw quarter sticks of dynamite (and bags of urine). Your fans wear giant sponge hands saying "We're #1" -- or hold placards for the TV cameras with retarded sayings using the initials of the broadcaster's network, whoring yourselves in public view.
Which is why all the video replays, delays of game to review calls, etc.
Players and fans do not feel insecure if they do not know the time to the fraction of a second. There's no reason for referees to put up a façade of split-second accuracy to appease fans who can't tell time.
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u americans & ur protective gear,if u think american football is so tough than id like to see them try & take on rugby players.full on on tackling with no constant breaks,now thats tough!
