Go dressed as a giant fighting cock, and introduce yourself like so: "fighting cock reporting for duty!"

You just have way too many jury trials.
And with that, I'll leave you with the comedy of CNN's self-inflicted wounds of putting people on TV who never should have been....
http://dailycaller.com/2017/09/15/c...ates-love-of-first-amendment-and-boobs-video/
