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What Are You Doing Right Now? (198 Viewers)
- Thread starter ßöмßäяðîëя
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@Völler @swag 
I think this has been discussed before, but here is the definition:
"A phantom shit is the rare phenominon wherein a shit (usually of a solid, well-defined mars bar-like constitution) disappears entirely from sight before the shitee has a chance to admire his creation. A phantom shit completely submerges itself beneath the upper waters of a toilet-bowl in an instant.
Initially such an occurence brings on the sensation of euphoria. However, the bliss is quickly replaced by paranoia and self-doubt as one tries to recall if they did truly shit or not. Usually the doubt can be subdued by wiping ones ass and finding shit upon the toilet paper. However, if the shit was a clean run and the toilet paper produces no shit-stains, then symptons may intensify until the shitee becomes a paranoid retard who believes in, and creates, conspiracy theories."
"A phantom shit is the rare phenominon wherein a shit (usually of a solid, well-defined mars bar-like constitution) disappears entirely from sight before the shitee has a chance to admire his creation. A phantom shit completely submerges itself beneath the upper waters of a toilet-bowl in an instant.
Initially such an occurence brings on the sensation of euphoria. However, the bliss is quickly replaced by paranoia and self-doubt as one tries to recall if they did truly shit or not. Usually the doubt can be subdued by wiping ones ass and finding shit upon the toilet paper. However, if the shit was a clean run and the toilet paper produces no shit-stains, then symptons may intensify until the shitee becomes a paranoid retard who believes in, and creates, conspiracy theories."
Beautiful. In Norway, we call them "plumpers", and they are regarded as being in the absolute top-tier of shits. They're at the very summit of human excrement-production. They leave your body with tremendous pace, remain whole and firm and leave absolutely NO traces of shit whatsoever. Not even microscropic particles or debris can be traced on the toiletpaper when whiping your ass.
For now, it remains a mystery whether or not they can be fully achieved. People have gotten very close, as have I (many times), but..... well they're still just an urban legend at this point. A myth. A goal. A dream...
For now, it remains a mystery whether or not they can be fully achieved. People have gotten very close, as have I (many times), but..... well they're still just an urban legend at this point. A myth. A goal. A dream...
@Jem83 I've got a mate we call the ''Phantom Shitter'' too. This persona only raises it's ugly head however on occasion, mainly on holidays where there are a number of hotel rooms being rented between a large group of us. When you least expect it, the crafty bugger will sneak into your toilet and leave a large surprise and then vanish again leaving only his excrement as a trace of his being there. It wouldn't matter if the room was locked down like fort knox, he would always manage to get in and leave stool 
@Jem83 I've got a mate we call the ''Phantom Shitter'' too. This persona only raises it's ugly head however on occasion, mainly on holidays where there are a number of hotel rooms being rented between a large group of us. When you least expect it, the crafty bugger will sneak into your toilet and leave a large surprise and then vanish again leaving only his excrement as a trace of his being there. It wouldn't matter if the room was locked down like fort knox, he would always manage to get in and leave stool
