Went out on the Irish pub terrace at about 10.30pm and all of a sudden a massive fireworks display started.
Then a 20ft tall robotic Lady Godiva started walking past.
Then a goth gave me her number.
Then I high fived the Lord Mayor of Coventry.
Then some lightweight student prick fell onto me as I was sat down.
Then some guy told came up to me, I asked him whether he was asking for money, he said no, then 5 minutes of a story about mothers later he asked for 60p.
I told him I am Italian I do not know what that is, mi scusi.
Then I went to a 16th century pub and visited the worst gents I have ever seen, I almost threw up.
Then some random curly haired woman bought me a drink at the 40+ bar, I left 5 mins later.
Then a fat blonde girl pulled my hair, I told her to let go or I would kick her in the cunt.
Then I went to some shitty club that played 90s dance, the DJ was some reject from X-Factor.
Then some Indian guy told me I looked just like Jack Black, then repeated 'Tenacious D' like I don't know who Jack Black is.
I told him to fuck off, he smelled like Gandhi's flip flop.
Hujelinimohiuenguaneuh!
Regular Saturday night.