What Are You Doing Right Now? (93 Viewers)

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

Bozi?



Today, an old girlfriend from years ago wanted to have lunch. Seeing as I had nothing to do, I went with her. She introduced me to her son. Apparently I am the father. My son is 6. FML

 

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[Zé Tahir]

Warrup Dru....Barrymore

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

We call him "Resuscitation Machine" because he gives all the lads mouth-to-dick help.

 

[.zero]

Warrup Dru....Barrymore

nada main

when you gonna be start flying me around so i don't gotta fuck with airports and airlines playa?

 

[Zé Tahir]

nada main

when you gonna be start flying me around so i don't gotta fuck with airports and airlines playa?

Hopefully this time next year brotha.

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

Today, my boyfriend called, asking, before I could even talk, to bring a condom- NOW. I had to smile at this request. I went to his house. A blond girl opened the door. He followed shortly, surprised to see me. I'm Celine. She's Cecile. Our names are one apart on his cell. She's my sister. FML

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

Dude, this shit is fucked:


Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

 

[Firestarter]

Yeah, I read that Did you read the spraying one?

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

Yeah, I read that Did you read the spraying one?

Which one is that, I'm 16 pages in and I've read every one.

 

[Bjerknes]

Holy fuck, that was not a good night.

 

[Bjerknes]

you'll understand when you start grindin and ballin

Woooooooooooooooow.

 

[icemaη]

Morning Playas...

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

What up, kid?

 

[icemaη]

I think I got the hunger disease... No matter how much I eat I'm still hungry...

 

[Zé Tahir]

That always leads to diarrhea dude.

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

That and sexual gaybutt.

 

[icemaη]

Not a good sign eh?

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

Well unless you like what we described.

 

[Bjerknes]

I got involved dancing with this girl with a short skirt, a girl Berb and them knows more than I do, so I back off and let them have a dance in the crowd, and my friend Mark starts (not literally) humping the shit out of her. So does Berb, double bang (in dance). I enter in and start doing the same, she loved it, her skirt was up, so I pulled a finger trick with her panties. She loved it. But then they else got in front and did the same, which is okay, because the girl apparently never has it with anybody anyway. What a... tease?