Irony 101:
The Shepherdstown Fire Department tried unsuccessfully to get Thatcher Hall residents to take fire drills seriously this week. On both Wed and Thurs, the Department conducted fire drill in which the residents failed miserably. On Thursday night, the Fire Dept resorted to playing a hip MTV-esque video describing the seriousness of campus fire drills and the terrible results of not taking fire alarms seriously.
At 12:15pm on Friday, a Thatcher resident was attempting to make popcorn and overshot the premium amount of time alloted for kernel flaming. The result was a smoke filled hallway and only half the buildings fire alarms going off. As there was not much seriousness in the incident students were allowed back into the building around 12:45pm, the Fire Department was not present. For the following 3 hours the Shepherd University maintenance team, tested the fire alarms vigorously.
At 5:45pm the Thatcher Hall laundry room, situated next door you this author, was engulfed in flames seeking to revenge the mockery made upon them by the residents. The hallways was a smokey abyss into which a small number of students plunged in order to escape a destiny far worse than any imaginable.
At 6:15pm the Shepherdstown Fire Department was on the scene and the fire was out. It is now 6:40pm and my room smells like ass. Fuck you irony, fuck you hard.
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