From TSA Hooligans, new film soon to be released. Based on a group of elite TSA agents who have the pleasure of groping flyers and staging terror attacks at O'Hare Airport.
Brother Mike: "We might be showing you a bit of courtesy being Sally's brother and all, but get it straight. We don't... like... travelers. Alright!"
Peter Durham: "You don't body scan, not when you're with us. You stand your ground and grope!"
Matty Stepanik Bruckner: "Pete Durham's life taught me there's a time to stand your ground, and his death taught me there's a time to fondle little girls. "
Matty Stepanik Bruckner: "Was that a terrorist attack? What happened here?" *Looking at several taped full body scans of children*
Sally Durham: "Welcome to holiday travel season. Lots of families came through last night."
Matty Bruckner: What are you talkin' about, x-rays aren't good enough? The Boston airport has x-ray machines that scan 90 people per minute!
Peter Durham: Who cares? All that means is that one TSA agent can have a wank faster than you.
Peter Durham to a family of flyers heading to BWI: "Fuck me, if I knew I was going to Baltimore I would have brought my fucking Ravens jersey. Mate, pull your pants down. No? Are you lost? Or just fucking stupid?"
Matty Bruckner: "So what is this, you must have brought through the entire Boy Scouts crew."
Peter: "Nah mate, just a few New England boys. Would you like to have a look at their body scanned images?"
Matty: "Uhh nah, I kind of have plans with Sally."
Peter: "Well fuck ya then, wanna look at the nekkid pics at the pub later?
Matty: "Sure, see ya."
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