swag

L'autista
Administrator
Sep 23, 2003
84,749
Jun 16, 2020
12,435
I kinda need advise for some situation I have at work. I have this guy, I’m his senior/manager for about a year and a half now. Basically from the first moment I got him in my group, I already received some warnings that he might be different than how he acts. But I don’t judge unless I see it with my own eyes.

But he did great, did some courses due to me, was able to pimp his CV, had a lot of freedom etc. Until about 1,5 months ago when I received some complaints about him, and I confronted him about it. It was just a 2 minutes talk, basically asked him please watch your behavior, I’m not choosing any sides, etc. It happens that we work in different places or shifts so I don’t see everyone everyday.

So about a week ago I heard that he started some ‘black list’ about all the seniors/managers, including me. Writing down if someone arrives a minute to late, maybe didn’t follow some protocol or whatever. And obviously I got angry. I asked him to act professional not start a rebellion.

Yesterday finally there was a moment to talk, I got pretty angry during that conversation. Usually I’m chill and easygoing (if I may believe the feedback that I’ve been receiving over the years), but I never got confronted with someone who showed that kind of behavior. And he’s 27 years old ffs.

At a certain moment, he started crying. I wasn’t expecting that. But he confessed that he wrote everything down, so he had something to complain about others if needed in the future. Kind of a toxic state of mind, didn’t show any self reflection. As if I blame my son, and he starts to blame his sister. Now I feel bad that it reached this point, he apologized at least 6 times.

But I got left with this strange feeling. Was I to hard (I didn’t yell or anything, but I got pretty strict and cold)? Or was it the victim role? And what shall I do, ignore it and continue working, or talk about it? Say that I didn’t mean to make him emotional? Or maybe reality slapped in for him.
 

.zero

★ ★ ★
Aug 8, 2006
82,806
I kinda need advise for some situation I have at work. I have this guy, I’m his senior/manager for about a year and a half now. Basically from the first moment I got him in my group, I already received some warnings that he might be different than how he acts. But I don’t judge unless I see it with my own eyes.

But he did great, did some courses due to me, was able to pimp his CV, had a lot of freedom etc. Until about 1,5 months ago when I received some complaints about him, and I confronted him about it. It was just a 2 minutes talk, basically asked him please watch your behavior, I’m not choosing any sides, etc. It happens that we work in different places or shifts so I don’t see everyone everyday.

So about a week ago I heard that he started some ‘black list’ about all the seniors/managers, including me. Writing down if someone arrives a minute to late, maybe didn’t follow some protocol or whatever. And obviously I got angry. I asked him to act professional not start a rebellion.

Yesterday finally there was a moment to talk, I got pretty angry during that conversation. Usually I’m chill and easygoing (if I may believe the feedback that I’ve been receiving over the years), but I never got confronted with someone who showed that kind of behavior. And he’s 27 years old ffs.

At a certain moment, he started crying. I wasn’t expecting that. But he confessed that he wrote everything down, so he had something to complain about others if needed in the future. Kind of a toxic state of mind, didn’t show any self reflection. As if I blame my son, and he starts to blame his sister. Now I feel bad that it reached this point, he apologized at least 6 times.

But I got left with this strange feeling. Was I to hard (I didn’t yell or anything, but I got pretty strict and cold)? Or was it the victim role? And what shall I do, ignore it and continue working, or talk about it? Say that I didn’t mean to make him emotional? Or maybe reality slapped in for him.
The best thing to do always as a manager is go straight to HR because that entire department exists to protect the company from any and all liability from employees, to enforce practices, etc.
By involving them from the beginning allows them to monitor and potentially place the employee on some sort of probationary program with terms for example.

My personal advice is to never talk to an employee 1-1 about these kind of matters. First go to HR and get on the same page and then have the convo with all three parties.
 
Jun 16, 2020
12,435
The best thing to do always as a manager is go straight to HR because that entire department exists to protect the company from any and all liability from employees, to enforce practices, etc.
By involving them from the beginning allows them to monitor and potentially place the employee on some sort of probationary program with terms for example.

My personal advice is to never talk to an employee 1-1 about these kind of matters. First go to HR and get on the same page and then have the convo with all three parties.
Thanks for your advise. Luckily, its exactly what I did. I talked it through with the relevant people, end we decided that I and the next guy in the chain of command would hold the conversation with him.

But still kinda shocked by his action- and reaction.

If I want I could indeed start a program with him, it’s within my ‘powers’, personally I always try to avoid bureaucratic things like that, because it’s annoying for everyone involved.
 

swag

L'autista
Administrator
Sep 23, 2003
84,749
Why do women put me in difficult spots

This 30 yo Canadian chica wants the D
30yo Canucks with D deficiency are trouble. Be careful, bruh.

Tell her sorry, this Vitamin D prescription is assigned to another patient.



P.S I litterally made this joke couple days ago to a new hire at work, who started sending me nudes in Snapchat. The joke went surprisingly well and she stopped.
Damn I feel like I must work for the Mormon Church never having to deal with that kinda situation in the office.

I kinda need advise for some situation I have at work. I have this guy, I’m his senior/manager for about a year and a half now. Basically from the first moment I got him in my group, I already received some warnings that he might be different than how he acts. But I don’t judge unless I see it with my own eyes.

But he did great, did some courses due to me, was able to pimp his CV, had a lot of freedom etc. Until about 1,5 months ago when I received some complaints about him, and I confronted him about it. It was just a 2 minutes talk, basically asked him please watch your behavior, I’m not choosing any sides, etc. It happens that we work in different places or shifts so I don’t see everyone everyday.

So about a week ago I heard that he started some ‘black list’ about all the seniors/managers, including me. Writing down if someone arrives a minute to late, maybe didn’t follow some protocol or whatever. And obviously I got angry. I asked him to act professional not start a rebellion.

Yesterday finally there was a moment to talk, I got pretty angry during that conversation. Usually I’m chill and easygoing (if I may believe the feedback that I’ve been receiving over the years), but I never got confronted with someone who showed that kind of behavior. And he’s 27 years old ffs.

At a certain moment, he started crying. I wasn’t expecting that. But he confessed that he wrote everything down, so he had something to complain about others if needed in the future. Kind of a toxic state of mind, didn’t show any self reflection. As if I blame my son, and he starts to blame his sister. Now I feel bad that it reached this point, he apologized at least 6 times.

But I got left with this strange feeling. Was I to hard (I didn’t yell or anything, but I got pretty strict and cold)? Or was it the victim role? And what shall I do, ignore it and continue working, or talk about it? Say that I didn’t mean to make him emotional? Or maybe reality slapped in for him.
The dude has problems, and you cracked it open. The trouble is, you don’t know how deep this issue goes.

Getting angry is not a good look in general, even if it’s good to air out that you’re disappointed in the guy. I’ve had more success letting subordinates use their own minds as their biggest prison … namely, reflecting that I see them capable of better, but they’re not living quite up to that expectation. People always seem to react better to that than just flogging them for something stoopid.

My worry is this guy needs therapy of some kind, and you’re not the therapist he needs. So making sure everything gets documented (with HR ) is a good practice in case there are future meltdowns and in case any of this somehow would ever come back to you.
 

Osman

Koul Khara!
Aug 30, 2002
61,484
I wish I worked in mormom church. Suppressed religious people the biggiest freaks in the sheet lol.


But no really, weekend intern/temp staff being trained for the summer. We use staff like her only every other weekend until they can cover our summer vacations. They really don't take the job seriously.


We invited her to after work drinks in here 2nd day to be polite, and she turned out to be more freaky then bargained for :oops2: :p


Bruh, the highest temperature registered during the event was in the high 70s °F. 78F is around 25C.

That really is nothing lol.

Lol I know we just left winter/cold early spring and kinda forgot good weather for a while, but are these people reacting like its the Sahara over 25 Celsius?


That temptarue not even a take your shirt off worthy in the Mathew McConaughey scale.
 
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Siamak

╭∩╮( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╭∩╮
Aug 13, 2013
18,321

swag

L'autista
Administrator
Sep 23, 2003
84,749
I wish I worked in mormom church. Suppressed religious people the biggiest freaks in the sheet lol.


But no really, weekend intern/temp staff being trained for the summer. We use staff like her only every other weekend until they can cover our summer vacations. They really don't take the job seriously.


We invited here to after work drinks in here 2nd day to be polite, and she turned out to be more freaky then bargained for :oops2: :p





Lol I know we just left winter/cold early spring and kinda forgot good weather for a while, but are these people reacting like its the Sahara over 25 Celsius?


That temptarue not even a take your shirt off worthy in the Mathew McConaughey scale.
Holy perks of the job, man.

And you’re right about repressed folk. It’s always the people on strict gluten-free, raw paleo diets that you have to watch out for at the Vegas all-you-can-eat buffet.
 

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