Ok. So my original plan was to sign up for a certification in web development offered by one of the city universities. Cool, that's settled then, would take a year or so to complete. But wait, old coworker is telling me about his job that he moved onto. Pay is excellent, people are great, overall sounds like a nice place to work. They're looking to hire, and for me to perform the job I would only need to learn SQL, which isn't particularly difficult at all. So awesome, I'll just learn this one language and go for this job and get a ~40% pay increase while having an entry into a new industry where I can grow, fuck yes. He warned me though that their hiring process is pretty long, maybe it would take a month. No problem, I think to myself.
So I take a class, learn what I would need to, and get sent a test from the company recruiter where I would have to solve a few problems using SQL. Take it and pass it in the first week of October, no problem. Around here I learn that the company was recently bought out by a equity and venture capital firm, remember this. Recruiter contacts me and says I passed, the next step is to have a phone screening with him. Did that, now onto the next thing. He says that the next step would be to have another phone call, this time with the office manager. So I schedule a time on a Friday with her and wait. Day comes and passes...and no call. "What the fuck?" I say to myself. I text my old coworker this and email the recruiter. Coworker apologizes and talks to some people there and basically tells me that because of the merger, there's some confusion as to what the hiring process is now (one person thought I was going to be called, another thought I was coming in for a test, etc), but I had a date to go on so I didn't have time to deal with this nonsense.
Next Monday the recruiter contacts me, reiterates that there was some confusion on their end, and tells me that the next part is that I would need to take a timed cognitive and personality test (ccat test), where he would need to watch me take it through a web camera to ensure it's not someone else taking it. Creepy as fuck imo, but whatever. I do it and pass it. Apparently this is the new first step for their hiring process so I had to do it, as mandated by the equity firm. Anyways, now comes the actual second call, but with the head of the department. It's actually a nice discussion, she seems very knowledgeable and genuine. And she comes from a data analytics background, something I may want to get into so she would be a great resource for me. Things seem up, maybe all the bullshit is behind me now, around the end of November.
The next step is to come into the office to take another test, sort of like a practice for a day in what the job would be, followed by a panel interview with 5 people in the office. Though it's my first time doing any sort of work like that, I do a decent enough job, do well on the panel interview, and leave with a good feeling. The next week the recruiter contacts me and says that they'd like a reference (again, process mandated by the firm). I mean, you could've fucking asked that in week one but sure, why not waste some more time. I contact my old manager and ask for her as a reference, she says sure, I give the recruiter her information and he emails her. Next week comes, I find out they can't get into contact with her. Now I have to fucking track her down because that entire goddamn department can't read a fucking email. She apologizes and says she's out of the office today, but remind her tomorrow and she'll do it. Next day comes, and she replies to the email as well as calls and leaves a message. Maybe he's in a meeting, whatever. "Surely this is done with now, I just need to wait" I think to myself.
Next week comes, I find out the recruiter was in a mother fucking accident and has been at home recovering. Pretty sure I'm just cursed at this point, can't do anything but wait now. The next week while at the gym, coworker texts me and says FINALLY they're talking with each other. I damn near shed a tear in the squat rack between sets. This is around Christmas, so of course everyone takes off then and nothing is going to happen, that's understandable. January comes around, and I haven't heard anything for a while. I email the recruiter, and he replies that they just finished bringing on new executive hires, who are still getting familiar with the organization, and have to determine hiring needs. I'm ready to blow up something at this point. Coworker tells me there's no way that they don't hire more people, but at the moment it seems there's a hiring freeze. All that would need to happen after this is I get invited to a lunch with some people from the team, and I basically have the job. But nahhhh lets fuck around instead for almost 4 goddamn months.
They could call me tomorrow, they could call me in a month from now. I don't even care anymore, I'm fed up with this. None of this is the end of the world by any means, just a colossal waste of time and a huge annoyance. So now I either wait for the spring semester for the originally considered web development program, or I apply to a bootcamp for training in either cyber security analytics or data science (leaning towards the former, if I have to choose right now.