damn...i’m gonna sound old:
but i was like that a few years ago.
when i was younger 
that changed though...
i was taking nearly two years off, traveling through the world with very little money,
as backpacker.
when i came back people felt the need to tell me that "
i lost/threw away 2 years"
because i was basically unemployed...such bullshit really.
who lost the two years?
me, doing whatever i wanted to do?
or those working their asses of 24/7?
people need to understand there is no wrong or right.
everybody has their own idea of life.
do whatever makes you happy, fuck the haters.
and if things just wont work out well for you,
fuck them aswell, as far as i can tell you are trying everything you can.
there is nothing you need to be ashamed of.
hang in there bro
its gonna get better