The Secret Diary of NATW (18 Viewers)

[Turdhead]

After a mood dampening evening on Skype with his unusually depressed friend Nick, Andy excitedly waits for his slightly less unfortunate friend Burke to come around for guns, poppers and High School Musical 2 fuelled adventure. A night is never dull when in involves Mickey Burke.​

‘Yo bro. Thanks for coming 'round dude. I couldn't find the Devil Wears Prada so I picked up High School Musical 2, I hope that's cool?’ Andy offers the DVD to Burke.
‘Da. 40?’ He ignores the DVD.
‘Here dude. Why didn’t you say so.’ Andy passes him a 40 then trips around over a football. Burke sites there uninterested.
‘Dude, put the movie on! Do you think I look like the main character!?’
‘Da.’ Burke sits there, still barely animated. Andy sighs as he is interrupted from his trick to put the film on.
Having lost interest in the football Andy opens a bottle of poppers and sniffs pathetically before offering it to his friend. ‘Dude?’
‘Da! DA DA! DAAA! DOUCHEFUCK!!!’ Burke grabs the poppers, his reaction scaring Andy; he sniffs hard up his grimy runny nose to the bottom of his rotting gut. The room seems to widen with Burkes rectum in sick harmony.
‘Duddde! Go easy there, my moms upstairs! Fuck man!’
Burkes quick stare unnerves him, suddenly unfamiliar with his friend he asks a question, uninterested, only to break the awkward atmosphere. ‘Brought any guns?’
Burke reflexes like a wild animal. Seemingly out of control he grabs a long silver revolver from his holdall, kicks Andy to the ground and sticks the weapon in his mouth, scratching past his pearly teeth.
‘ARGHHHH!!!!’ Andy kicks and screams, the noise muffled by the gun he scratches and grabs his attacker in desperation. The breath is taken from him as Burke pushes the barrel into his throat. Helplessly Andy continues to struggle. He can do nothing as Burke molests him. The feeling of Burke entering him, the taste of the cold steal revolver, the putrid popper laced smell. The useless resistance stops, he passes out.

 

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[Turdhead]

A bit more James Herbert for you Burke. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

 

[Omair]

That was quite a poor effort, you could have went further with quality expressions as "uh", "eh", and "he".

eh my bad .. sorry .. i should've done better ..

 

[Fred]

Good shit. Though you should probably make Andy sound less like a Brit. In America we don't ask to see bits, we ask to see tits.

 

[Fred]

Btw whats with the nick against the world thread..what happened??i wasnt around at the time?

 

[Enron]

Btw whats with the nick against the world thread..what happened??i wasnt around at the time?

It is a thread started by Nicola (incuborossenaro), who is everyone's favorite Milan fan. It goes way back past my time as well. I don't if anyone really understands how it kept going. Now it is an unmoderrated thread in which mostly nothing constructive happens. It's like Seinfeld really, a thread about nothing. Simply put, it is greatness.

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

Good shit. Though you should probably make Andy sound less like a Brit. In America we don't ask to see bits, we ask to see tits.

After a mood dampening evening on Skype with his unusually depressed friend Nick, Andy excitedly waits for his slightly less unfortunate friend Burke to come around for guns, poppers and High School Musical 2 fuelled adventure. A night is never dull when in involves Mickey Burke.​

‘Yo bro. Thanks for coming 'round dude. I couldn't find the Devil Wears Prada so I picked up High School Musical 2, I hope that's cool?’ Andy offers the DVD to Burke.
‘Da. 40?’ He ignores the DVD.
‘Here dude. Why didn’t you say so.’ Andy passes him a 40 then trips around over a football. Burke sites there uninterested.
‘Dude, put the movie on! Do you think I look like the main character!?’
‘Da.’ Burke sits there, still barely animated. Andy sighs as he is interrupted from his trick to put the film on.
Having lost interest in the football Andy opens a bottle of poppers and sniffs pathetically before offering it to his friend. ‘Dude?’
‘Da! DA DA! DAAA! DOUCHEFUCK!!!’ Burke grabs the poppers, his reaction scaring Andy; he sniffs hard up his grimy runny nose to the bottom of his rotting gut. The room seems to widen with Burkes rectum in sick harmony.
‘Duddde! Go easy there, my moms upstairs! Fuck man!’
Burkes quick stare unnerves him, suddenly unfamiliar with his friend he asks a question, uninterested, only to break the awkward atmosphere. ‘Brought any guns?’
Burke reflexes like a wild animal. Seemingly out of control he grabs a long silver revolver from his holdall, kicks Andy to the ground and sticks the weapon in his mouth, scratching past his pearly teeth.
‘ARGHHHH!!!!’ Andy kicks and screams, the noise muffled by the gun he scratches and grabs his attacker in desperation. The breath is taken from him as Burke pushes the barrel into his throat. Helplessly Andy continues to struggle. He can do nothing as Burke molests him. The feeling of Burke entering him, the taste of the cold steal revolver, the putrid popper laced smell. The useless resistance stops, he passes out.

I don't even know what a popper is, more likely I'd just get wasted and smoke a lot of cigs, yo.

But to be honest I could only read the first 2 lines before I vomitted all over my own genitals.

A bit more James Herbert for you Burke. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

Word...

 

[swag]

Nice work, Claire.

 

[Turdhead]

It is a thread started by Nicola (incuborossenaro), who is everyone's favorite Milan fan. It goes way back past my time as well. I don't if anyone really understands how it kept going. Now it is an unmoderrated thread in which mostly nothing constructive happens. It's like Seinfeld really, a thread about nothing. Simply put, it is greatness.

I understand how it kept going. It had Pado wanking over shoes and everyone else wanking over Emma.

 

[Turdhead]

To me Andy seems like a posh private school Brit. He doesn't seem American really except he is anal about it and lets it define him. Or maybe he's more like Fred from Scooby Doo and Burkes more like Mr Blobby?

I think if it didn't get carried away and it was a more realistic story they'd probably have got the Devil Wears Prada and wanked over the part with the Katie Melua song.

Burke see below. I hope it makes your special story that little bit more special.

--

Poppers
Poppers is the street term for various alkyl nitrites taken for recreational purposes through direct inhalation, particularly amyl nitrite, butyl nitrite and isobutyl nitrite. Amyl nitrite has a centuries-long history of use in treating angina,[3] as well as an antidote to cyanide poisoning.[4][5] Amyl nitrite and several other alkyl nitrites which are used in over-the-counter products, such as room odorizers and video head cleaners, may be inhaled to enhance sexual pleasure.[6] Use is particularly prominent among gay urban men.[6] These products have long been part of the club culture from the 1970s disco scene to the 1980s and 1990s rave scene.[7]

Effects
Inhaling nitrites relaxes smooth muscles throughout the body, including the sphincter muscles of the anus and the vagina.[5] This causes the blood vessels to dilate (which causes a sudden drop in blood pressure), increases heart rate, and produces a sensation of heat and excitement that usually lasts for a couple of minutes.[8]

Alkyl nitrites are often used as a club drug or to enhance a sexual experience.[6] The head rush, euphoria, and other sensations that result from the blood pressure drop are often felt to increase sexual arousal and desire.[6] At the same time, the relaxation of the sphincters of the anus and vagina can make penetration easier.[9] It is widely reported that poppers can enhance and prolong orgasms.[1]

 

[Hambon]

The term is Fapping. Nice piece btw

 

[soulslider]

To me Andy seems like a posh private school Brit. He doesn't seem American really except he is anal about it and lets it define him. Or maybe he's more like Fred from Scooby Doo and Burkes more like Mr Blobby?

I think if it didn't get carried away and it was a more realistic story they'd probably have got the Devil Wears Prada and wanked over the part with the Katie Melua song.

Burke see below. I hope it makes your special story that little bit more special.

--

Poppers
Poppers is the street term for various alkyl nitrites taken for recreational purposes through direct inhalation, particularly amyl nitrite, butyl nitrite and isobutyl nitrite. Amyl nitrite has a centuries-long history of use in treating angina,[3] as well as an antidote to cyanide poisoning.[4][5] Amyl nitrite and several other alkyl nitrites which are used in over-the-counter products, such as room odorizers and video head cleaners, may be inhaled to enhance sexual pleasure.[6] Use is particularly prominent among gay urban men.[6] These products have long been part of the club culture from the 1970s disco scene to the 1980s and 1990s rave scene.[7]

Effects
Inhaling nitrites relaxes smooth muscles throughout the body, including the sphincter muscles of the anus and the vagina.[5] This causes the blood vessels to dilate (which causes a sudden drop in blood pressure), increases heart rate, and produces a sensation of heat and excitement that usually lasts for a couple of minutes.[8]

Alkyl nitrites are often used as a club drug or to enhance a sexual experience.[6] The head rush, euphoria, and other sensations that result from the blood pressure drop are often felt to increase sexual arousal and desire.[6] At the same time, the relaxation of the sphincters of the anus and vagina can make penetration easier.[9] It is widely reported that poppers can enhance and prolong orgasms.[1]

Poppers , that's some crazy shit, when i was in high school we used to order it over the internet, we used to use it in class, those were some laughs

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

Yea...that's like sniffing glue.

I'm more of an OxyContin/Vicadin ma myself.

PS - Andy def. is a little metrosexual/posh.

 

[Turdhead]

This thread is a joke. A joke for the named persons and humour that the named persons were believed to find amusing. The purpose was not to offend, insult or antagonise. Please delete the thread, or make it invitation only so that I can avoid offending, annoying or distracting from the purpose and value of this forum.

Cheers

 

[V]

Drama queen.

 

[Turdhead]

Nah seriously.

 

[Enron]

I understand how it kept going. It had Pado wanking over shoes and everyone else wanking over Emma.

I have no idea what an Emma is. But definitely know about the wanking into shoes.

 

[Turdhead]

I have no idea what an Emma is. But definitely know about the wanking into shoes.

I played a part in making the shoe wank scene here.

 

[Enron]

I played a part in making the shoe wank scene here.

Congratulations.

 

[Turdhead]

Congratulations.

Cheers!