The Secret Diary of Don Juan Capello [Collection] (17 Viewers)

[Bozi]

Episode 21

bouyed by ther great victory in el-classico the real madrid boys are out on a team-bonding night out.....unfotunately they allowed becks to choose the location and ended up in the blue oyster bar


Fabby-"this is my kinda place, if i had knows we were coming here i would have worn my Frankie says relax t-shirt"
fabio C-"eh boss, some of the guys are not comfortable with this place"
fabby-"nonsense look at becks,i haven't seen him this excited since he figured out how to write with joined up letters"
fabio C-"aye but look at raul he is miserable,granted he is always a torn-faced-wee-prick but he is even more a grump than usual"
fabby-"ok then lets ask...emerson if he wants to go somewhere else"
emerson-"no way man, i am waiting for the DJ to play my request"
Fabby-"what did you ask for?"
emerson-"Erasure,take that and justin timberlake"
Fabby-"see...how can we go now?emo my little shithole-shunter you make me proud"
emerson-"ooooh i am gonna be a lucky boy tonight"
Fabby-"no you big queen i am gonna be going home with pablo, i just met him at the bar and he said he is gonna give me a catalan colonic....oooh i cant wait"
emerson-"damn...tonino is out the way and i am still not first pick.....thats is i am gonna go fatal-attraction on his ass"

will emerson make glue out of ruud's hoofs?will fabby find out the catalan-colonic involves a power-washer and a phosphate enema?when will del piero finally fuck over capelloa nd make everyone happy?dont hold your breath....all will be revealed on future episodes of fabby's diary

 

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[Bozi]

Episode 22

ina fabulous mansion in madrid cuntface morrati has been invited to a dinner meeting by fabby. he is told they have a special guest

Cuntface-"Fabby, i hope this isnt another of those evenings like last year when we all had to wear rubber catsuits and have wax burned onto our nipples!"
Fabby-"no, that is next week,didn't you get an invite?anyway this is all business"
Cuntface-"no but dont worry. i am not so sure about coming now that adriano and zlatan are married i wouldnt have a partner"
Fabby-"what about manky bastard?"
Cuntface-"its bad enough i have to see that little poof at work"
Fabby leads cuntface into the dining room where he is greeted by none other than the bald eagle silvio berlusconi
Baldie-"Cuntface we are here because we need to root out this deep throat character. i ahve heard he has somethig big planned before the big derby game this weekend"
Fabby-"what big derby?torino and juve are in different leagues! you mean the shitty milan one?"
baldie-"shut it pinch-face"
Cuntface-"all my exhaustive research has failed to get to the bottom of the mystery and i know he has secrets about all of us"
Baldie-"what?what secrets?i hope he does not tell everyone that this is a comb-over"
Cuntface-"no-one would believe it silvio, they all think you have a full head of hair,just like bobby charlton"
baldie-"phew what a relief, my image would suffer if they found out i had receded slightly"
Fabby-"this is getting us nowhere, lets just agree that if we hear anything we must be ready to act swiflty and stamp out the threat of this shady character"
all in unison-AYE

meanwhile,inside the san-siro del piero and two of his soldiers are sabotaging the players equipment
Alex-"ok men it took some time but i see that you have finally finished,good work. god knows where you found the strength and the energy to fill all of those shoes with your man-goo but you did a faboulous job"
Pado-"i would do anything to help restore the glory of Juve"
Rab-" i would do anything for you ale"
Alex-"em..ok. now fror your payments, strange requests here guys but Rab, here is pair of predators that i wore last week and as requested i wore these about the house so they have my scent on them"
Rab-"sweet oh man cant wait to get these babies home"
Alex-"pado,here is my wifes favourite shoes,worn only once. if she ever finds out i am a dead man"
Pado-"if ashe complains, send her over to my office and i will ass-fook her till she forgets all about them"
Alex-"maybe not.....jesus where did the boss find you guys?"

will the goo in the players boots make them fall over play like shit and miss every shot on target?or will they just think that zlatan had been takingg training this week? will rab get arrested for fooking a football boot on public transport because he cant wait to get home?who will be the next juventuz member called on to assist alex and deep throats plans?stay tuned for more

 

[Bozi]

Episode 23

Tonino is back in madrid and unhappy about his treatment by fabby-baby, in despair he turns to his trusty diary to log his thoughts

"Dear diary, i feel so sad today fabby is refusing to talk to me and he made me train all alone. i called him a big poopyhead and he put me over his knee and spanked me,actually i liked that. i was all happy for a minute but then he said i wont ever play for him again and if i didnt keep my mouth shut he would sell me to inter, that would be the end of my career.
My close friend Ruud is now back in favour and wont talk to me,i tried to tempt him with a handfull of sugarcubes but that didnt work so i went to burger king for a Nicky special and ronaldo ate it before i finished training.
i am going to have to get out of here i just wish i could get fabby back before...."

suddenly the phone rings
Tonino-"hello"
Deep Throat-"hello Tonino i think we need to talk"
Tonino-"my mummy isnt here right now but i..."
Deep Throat-"shut up and listen, i think we can help each other"

will tonino act on impulse and help deep throat bring down fabby and inter? will capello ever learn what loyalty means? will beckham ever learn the whole alphabet off by heart?will anyone figure out what a nicky special is?stay tuned for more tomorrow

 

[Bozi]

Episode 24

Confident that he is on a winning streak capello has called a meeting of his senior player to his harem
Fabby-"welcome gentlemen, pull up a cushion and prepeare for the feast"
Fabio C-"all i see is dips....with no chips...or breadsticks"
Fabby-"aye,its the fabby special meat and cream cheese chippolatta, fabio you are excempt"
Emerson-"ohh not again"
raul-"but..where is the meat?"
Emerson-"you will find out later"
Fabby-"gentlemen,gentlemen,that is alter. now i wanna get down to business.chief of security.."
Fabio C-" we have been tapping tonino's calls and we know he is communicating with this deep throat. he ahs recently been in contact with a shady egyptian called Ahmed aka Bisco, this man has been behind the dissapearance of a well loved doctor from belgrade"
Fabby-"sounds a dangerous character."
Fabio C-"he masquerades as a broke pharmacy student but we know better"
Fabby-"well we will allow them to carry out their plan and just as they are about to strike,take them and use them to get to deep throat"
Fabio C-"settled,so it has begun.."
Fabby-"next order of business, i need to reshuffle my cabinet. raul welcome aboard you are my new "head boy" in the team since the betrayel of tonino"
Raul-"head boy?you mean i am the top man in your team?"
Fabby-"no my fluff-boy"
Emerson-"ha ha ha ha"
Fabby-"oh and emerson, you are my new right-hand man"
Emerson-"you mean i am second in command?"
Fabby-"no..it means that i am gonna use you as a human glove puppet bucket arse"

will fabby and his new team of lickspittles manage to trap deep throat? will raul enjoy his new role?does anyone still read this?find out next time....

 

[Bozi]

Episode 25

here we enter into a tender moment between adriano and zlatty, they are trying to have a heart to heart and clear the air

Zlatty-"oh baby i am so glad you came home, i missed you so much"
Adriano-"listen while i was away i got to thinking a lot. my form has been terrible so far this season, well pretty much since the honeymoon"
Zlatty-"you think its me??oh how could you be so horrible?i have been playing with a torn ring and everything, i never complained"
Adriano-"no,no its not that you little willy-hugger, its,well...i havehit a wall,which is the only target i have hit all season."
ZLatty-"a wall,are you saying i am fat?"
Adriano-"what?are you nuts i never said that"
Zlatty-"so now i am a liar am i?well why dont you just hit me again and get ti over and done with"
Adriano-"no,no,no...jesus why do you make it so hard?listen, we are incompatable, thats why manky does not play us together. we were two crazy kids but this is never going to work, we shuld cut our losses and move on"
Zlatty-"well dont think i am returning the glass dildo you gave me for our wedding"
Adriano-"keep it, keep whatever you want. you dont really love me anyway i caught you on the rebound from Fabby, you still have feelings for him"
Zlatty-"he betrayed me, i never thought you would reject me also"
Adriano-"i never meant to hurt you, please frogive me"

with that adriano leaves and zlatty cries tears of frustration, haed in the pillow he mutters words of revenge

Zlatty-"reject me once i will bounce back,reject me twice i will turn into a murderous psycho...adriano,fabby,prepare to meet zlatty the bunny boiler"

will zlatan go all fatal attraction on fabby's ass?will adriano ever score again? will fabby lose his focus long enough for zlatan to get close to him? and will rab ever stop stalking alex?all this next time ......

 

[Bozi]

Episode 26

with real's home defeat pressure is mounting on fabby and his uninspiring brand of "winning" football. fabby however is unworried by all of this, he has deep throat in his sights

Fabby-"ok boys, the plan is in motion. we know that tonino is meeting with this shady egyptian ahmed tonight. intelligence hints that they are working on an arial-piss-baloon-bombardment at our next home game"
Emerson-"eh,boss what quantity of piss are we talking about?what if we catch them mid-stream?"
Raul-"hhhmmpppphhh,hymmphhh"
Fabby-"shut up and dont talk with your mouth full"
Raul-"sorry boss i.."
Fabby-"did i tell you to stop?keep sucking boy."
Fabio C-"ok boss we are ready to move out"

meanwhile in a warehouse across town tonino and ahmed are joined by 2 friends to try and fill the baloons
Tonino-"this is so much fun, though i think we should really be drinking beer to get the bladder working overtime"
Bisco-"dont worry bro i got these two to help, though we need to keep them away from each other"
Seven-"dont you be looking at my meat now"
Lou-"for the love of god amico mio, i am not a peado"
Seven-"yeah, well i dont feel comfortable. i cant even turn my back to the wall"
Lou-"amico mio,how about i turn my back,will you feel comfortable then?"
Seven-"no you wankstain on the fabric of humanity but i am here to help deep throat and get back and crapello"
Lou-"me too amico mio"
Seven-"i hope you die of.."
Deep throat-"gentlemen,gentlemen,let us not forget why we are here. our objective is to bring down fabby and his gay squad once and for all"
Tonino-"yeah boss, can i just say it is a pleasure to work with...."
suddenly an explosion from the other side of teh warehouse and the boys are ambushed by fabby's troops

Fabby(over loudspeaker)-"games over boys, we have you surrounded"
Bisco-"bring it on fannybaws"
tonino-"boss get yourself out of here, we will hold them back as long as we can"
deep throat-"no we stand shoulder to shoulder and fight together"
Seven-"well i am not standing next to this gayarse"
Lou-"one more time,just one more time and i am gonna kill you...amico mio"
Deep throat-"shut up and get ready...and lou,do you have to say that all the time?"

will fabby trap deep throat?will we ever learn his true identity?will lou and seven stand and fight,or just bitch slap each other?stay tuned...

 

[Bozi]

Episode 27

Fabby has deep throat surrounded and his trap is about to come to fruition. only a rag-tag bunch of forum users and tonino can save him now.....
Fabby-"its no use trying to resisit, we have you surrounded now"
deep Throat-"you underestimate my boys fabio, they will stand shoulder to shoulder and fight for what is right,also they hate you"
Seven-"eh,i am not standing next to this arse-botherer"
Lou-"for christ sake seven will you leave me the fuck alone,amico mio?"
Seven-"no lou, i was talking about tonino, he keeps checking my arse out"
Bisco-"guys focus....."
Fabby-"move in boys"

there follows a massive brawl in which bisco fights valiantly,tonino fights dirty and seven and lou fight with each other. fabby is victorious and the others are removed from the room, leaving just fabby and deep throat

Fabby-"so it has come to this then huh?"
deep throat-"unmask me fabby and you will only make me even more powerful"
Fabby-"no, my quest for the truth will never end unless i know my advesory"
Deep Throat-"you want the truth?you cant handle the truth"
Fabby-"very droll,(into walkie talkie)right boys have you secured the prisoners?"
silence
Fabby-"guys....have you secured the prisoners?"
silence
Fabby-damn cheap walkie talkies, reagrdless deep throat the time has come"
fabby pulls back the hood concealing deep throats face and is shocked,stunned and a little bemused
Fabby-"NO,NO WAY, It cant be"
Deep throat-"Yes fabby,it is me...."
Fabby-"i cant believe it, no way, it cant be you, you are not allowed to...."
suddenly fabby's world goes blank, he flops to the ground and deep throat conceals himself once more
Zlatty-"woah, this tazer really is the dogs bollocks"
deep throat-"what the hell are you doing here?"
Zlatty-"just taking care of my own business from my end,whatever is going on here is up to you, your guys are all outside and his men are all taken care of"
Deep Throat-"i offer you my gratitude but what do i do in return?"
Zlatty-"just leave fabby to me,that is all"
Deep Throat-"consider it done. now boys lets roll"
bisco-"where are seven and lou?"
Tonino-"they have been wrapped in cling-film naked together,seems that even fabby's men were sick of them"
deep throat-"lets leave them there till they learn to get on"
Seven-"screw you guys dont leave me here....lou i swear to god if you look down at my young virile young body i am gonna bite your nose off"
Lou-"i wouldnt look at you if you were vida guerra covered in chocolate body paint amico mio"

will lou and seven ever escape?will deep throat take a more careful approach since fabby knows who he is?what are zlatty's plans for fabby? and will anyone figure out half of the movie refferences in my stories?stay tuned to find out more

 

[Bozi]

Episode 28

fabby wakes up from a long slumber,his head is fuzzy and he tries to recollect the events of last night...deep throat...he seen his face...but who??? he is snapped back into consiousness and he realises he is tied to a chair. bleary eyed he looks up

Pannuci-"well well well, look what the spider web brought in, a couple of flies"
Fabby-"couple?flies?"
Fabby looks to his left and also tied up but with a rubber ball strapped into his mouth is adriano
Fabby-"what the hell is going on here?"
Pannuci-"stay still, i gotta quieten you out before Z gets here"
Fabby-"hmmmphhh hmppphhh"

just then zlatty enters
Zlatty-"well looks like we got ourselves a party,bring out the gimp"
Panuci-"but he's sleeping"
Zlatty-"well you better go wake him up then"
Fabby and adriano look on in horror as pannuci goes into a box and bring out ronaldo in full fetish gear
Zlatty-"ok which one of you boys wanna go first?fuck it adriano lets go"

fabby watches in horror as they lead adriano into a back room, leaving him with the gimp fabby siezes his chance for escape. breaking the chair and releasing the ropes he punches the gimp and runs upstairs
fabby-"i aint going back there without some vaseline"

what are zlatty's fiendish plans for adriano? where the hell did they buy a gimp costume big enough for ronaldo?and are seven and lou still trapped together??probably, come back for more of fabby's misadventures..same batty boy time...same batty boy channel

 

[Bozi]

Episode 29

fabby blanks out and wakes up 4 days later, he is in his office and fabio c is there, strangely he is in restraints

Fabby-"what teh hell,what have you done to me,get me the hell out of there"
Fabio C-"easy there boss i did thid for your own good, you were pretty out of it....and...eh...you were screaming and fighting in your sleep. what the hell ahppened to you?"
Fabby-"it was him...i...eh...i saw him"
Fabio C-"deep throat?"
Fabby-"yes i pulled back the hood and i saw his face"
Fabio C-"then what happened?all i remember is pannuci jumping out of a bush in a pink tutu and a tiarra, then a massive shock and i woke up an hour later"
Fabby-"that was zlatan,he took me hostage and ...oh god..."
fabby fights back the tears and shock of what was about to happen to him and gets it together
Fabby-"remember when ronnie asked you teh best way to lose weight fast?"
Fabio C-"aye i told him that tony adams used to wear a plastic bag underneath his top when he trained as it made him sweat more"
Faby-"that all?"
fabio C-"yes boss, why what has he done?"
Fabby-"well lets just say if he keeps wearing what he was wearing teh last time i sen him he will lose weight fast and no defender will WANT to tackle him"
fabio C-"anyway boss you seen deep throats face, tell me who it is and we can send out people to bring him in"
Fabby-"ok,its....its....oh shit...i cant remember"
Fabio C-"come on boss, think, what was he wearing?"
Fabby-"a hooded top i remember pulling it back and....all i can remember is the smell...smoke....DAMNITTTTTT!!!"
Fabio C-"look i have an idea, lets bring in becks"
Fabby-"why becks?
Fabio C-"well you said he has trouble remembering things, maybe he has trouble recalling and has a strategy to help himself remember things"
Fabby-"no i didnt say he had trouble remembering"
Fabio C-"yes, you said he was like the guy in memento who tattood himself so he remembered things"
Fabby-"no,i said he is an idiot who cant learn new things, the tattoos are directons to his house"
Fabio C-"ohh...well what we gonna do?"
Fabby-"i dont know"

will fabby recall who the mystery man is?will ronnie shed a few ponds? will adriano escape,or does he want to?and what happened to seven and lou? stay tuned for more

 

[Bozi]

Episode 30
Fabby is racking his brain, trying to bypass his mental block and remember who deep throat is. in desperation he goes to a disreputable herbalist by the name of Jack
Jack-"welcome fabio"
Fabby-"please,call me fabby"
Jack-"eh,i'd rather not. now i have the herbs that you asked for"
Fabby-"they will help me see into my past?"
Jack-"they will certainly help you see something"
Fabby-"thank you jack,you are my last hope..."
Jack-"now go lie in the back room, soon i will come and try to regress,its a bit like hypnosis and we can help you see into your past"
as fabby enters another man, a strange pale blonde man leaves, a smile on his face
Fabby-"who was that?"
Jack-"his name is fliakis, through the power of suggestion he believes he is a sex god"
Fabby-"poor bastard"
several hours later fabby leaves a confused man and enters the waiting car
Fabio C-"you ok chief?"
Fabby-"yeah,i think so"
Fabio C-"its just you seem a little spooked. do you know who deep throat is?"
Fabby-"yes,yes,its just so strange. its ........."
meanwhile back inside jack is on the phone
Jack-"yes, yes i have told him that deep throat is moratti....ha ha ha.yes he is positive, the power of suggestion is like jedi mind trick"
Deep throat-"excellent, is that all?"
Jack-"no,i also told him he is a 15 year old girl with a passion for boybands"
Deep throat-"that will change nothing, he already has all the westlife albums"

will fabby confront the person he wrongly believes is deep throat?will fabio c notice that there is something wrong?and will fabby go to the madrid team doctor when he does not have his period?all this and more in future episodes

 

[Bozi]

Episode 31

fabby is taking training in preperation for the santander match but the squad is becomming restless at his new bizzare training methods and his girly ways...

Fabby-"ok boys,pull up a cushion we are gonna have a group discussion"
Fabio C-"boss, what the hell is going on?ever since i took you to se that guy you have been acting strange"
Fabbby-"nothing is wrong, i am seeing more clearly now that i know morrati is deep throat"
Fabio C-"i am not so sure chief"
Fabby-"are you calling me a liar?"
Fabio C-"no chief but i think you may have been misled"
Fabby-"yeah,but,no,but i saw a guy with my own eyes and was so shocked that i couldnt recognise him and i went to talk with a guy who said it was moratti and i asked emerson but he said it wasnt but i dont believe him coz he let zlatan slide in his shitter for a mars bar and some powerade"
Fabio C-"eh...what??"
Becks-"eh boss can i talk with you?"
fabby starts to swwon like a teenage girl
Fabby-"of course becks you can talk to me anytime tee-hee"
Becks-"can i play tonight boss?"
Fabby-"of course you can, but i need some help my nipples are awfully sensitive today do you have any remedies?"
Becks-"no but i will ask vicky"
Ronaldo-"boss can i play tonight?"
Fabby-"no, but i have a special task for you. here take these"
Ronaldo-"but boss, these are pom-poms"
Fabby-"i know, you are gonna be our official becks mascot"
Ronaldo-"oh for teh love of god"
Fabby-"no repeat after me....david beckham isa hunk is a hunk,david beckham is a hunk is a hunk,but ronaldo has got too much junk in his trunk, david beckham is a hunk is a hunk"
Ronaldo falls over after the first step and rolls about in agony
Fabby-"uh-oh,guess i will have to do it myself, i will need to go take the skirt ina bit if it is to fit. take the afternoon off boys"
Fabio C-"but boss, boss....we dont know the tactics"
Ruud-"clump clump clump"
Fabio C-" aye you are probably right, i will have to "pass" to you up front"

will the real squad stage a mutiny and cast a vote of no-confidence in fabby?has ronaldo done his cruciate?how ridiculous will fabby look jumping about the touchline in his cheerleaders outfit?and will zizou come back and headbutt fabby back into reality?all this and more to come

 

[Bozi]

Episode 32

the real madrid players are holding a private team meeting, while happy about their performances they are becomming increasingly discontented with fabby and his new training techniques

Fabio C-"ok lads settle down, i think we all know why we are here dont we?"
Becks-"are we going to see santa? i have a nice letter for himand want to give it to him personally"
Raul-"ah thats cute, did the kids write that"
Becks-"nah that was me, vicky let me use the crayons since i learned to pee standing up"
Fabio C-"shut up will you, no becks we are here because i am concerned about fabby. its bad enough he has had us playing hopscotch but when he had us sitting braiding each others hair i felt enough is enough"
Becks-" really?i kinda liked that "
Fabio C-"thats because you are a faggot"
Becks-"i was only pissed because he made me sit next to him and was stroking my leg"
Fabio C-"the problem started when he went to see that hypnotist, so i think he is being manipulated"
Becks-"man...mani....manip...what chief?"
Fabio C-" he is being controlled by someone who has control over his weak mind"
Becks-"alright, is he married to vicky too?"
Fabio C gives becks a tickle me elmo to shut him up
Fabio C-"ok guys we need idea's,we neeed to do something to shake fabby out of this trance. its gonna have to be a big shock"
Guti-"i could show him my carpet dont match my curtains"
Fabio C-"that wont shock him"
Raul-" i could i could squeeze his testicles in a nutcracker"
Fabio C-"we would just get aroused"
Ruud-"clump clump clump"
Fabio C-" that is brilliant ruud, we will get zidane to headbutt him back to last week, he will snap right out of it and hopefully remember who deep throat is"
Ruud-"clump clump"
Fabio C-"ok boy here is your sugar cube"
Ronaldo-"can we go to burger king yet?"
just then fabby walks in
Fabby-"what is going on here?"
Fabio C-"eh nothing boss, we just thought it would be a good idea to invite zizou as a guest at out next game"
Fabby-"ooohh that would be nice, now boys i want you all out on the training field and we are gonna do some step aerobics"
Fabio C-"aw jeez"

will zidane answer the real teams calls for help?will they have to psyche him up by insulting his sister?will fabby punish fabio c for his impudence and will ronaldo get his happy meal on the team bus??stay tuned

 

[Bozi]

Episode 33

despairing at the current tactics and training methods the real players have resorted to deperate measures and invited zidane into the dressing room after the Lyon game,while fabby adresses teh press they are putting their plan into motion
Zizou-"evening gents...geez you really suck since i left huh?"
Raul-"what can we do, we have pinch-face in control and he is a loony"
Becks-"he keeps walking in on me in the shower"
Ronaldo-"he said i was even more ugly than a donkeys arse"
Carlos-"he said i had big thighs too"
Zizou-"guys, guys he is probably just trying to make you mad so you show more passion"
Emerson-"he asks me to sleep over every friday nght"
Zizou-"well i guess he is just trying to build a bond with you"
Fabio C realises that zizou is not getting mad and resorts to desperate measures
Fabio C-" he said taht you were an overrated player and if you had not retired he would have swapped you for jonathan zebina"
Zizou-"i would have killed him "
Raul-"he said that you aint got shit on ronaldinho"
Zizou-"i wipe the floor with that show pony,no offense ruud"
Ruud-"clump,clump,neighhhhhh"
Zizou-"he said what about my sister?"
Ruud-"clump,clump,clump"
fabio C-" and with a donkey too"
Ziou-"arrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh"
zizou flies into a rage, his head burns bright red and he crashes through the dressing room door screaming "kill fabby"
Fabio C-"that ought to do it, i must remember to thank marco for that suggestion"
walking along the corridor listening to girls aloud on his i-pod fabby sees a raging zizou bearing down on him
Fabby-"zizou you big strong boy, what are you doing here?zizou?zizou....slow down"
THWAKKKK!! CRASH!!! BANG!!! WALLOP!!!!!
Zizou-"you got knocked the fuck out and now you have the mark of Z on your chest. cantona is a pussy"
the rael team run round the corner and see zidane standing over capello
Raul-"what have we done?"
Fabio C-"what we had to"

will fabby wake up and remember who he really is?will he have been shocked enough not to be under jack's control?will zidane ever learn to control his inner rage? and what became of adriano and zlatan?find out next time on fabby's diary

 

[Bozi]

Episode 34

fabby is in a white room, it is incredibly bright, almost blinding. he is wearing awhite coat and is being fed tablets by a nurse, he looks around and sees many men, all wearing the same white coat...except they are all wearing hoods
Fabby-"what is going on?"
ALL in unison-"what is going on?"
Fabby-"where am i??"
ALL in unison-""where am i??"
Fabby-"who are you?"
suddenly they all pull back their hoods and reveal themselves
Fabio C-" I am deep throat"
Cuntface moratti-"I am deep throat"
Moggi-"no,i am deep throat"
Zlatan-"no, i am deep throat"
Emerson-"no, i am deep throat"
Fabby-"arghhhh, no i am not crazy, i am not crazy, i am not crazy.....am i?"
all in unison-"i am deep throat, i am deep throat,i am deep throat"
fabby screams out and closes his eyes, when he wakes he is in a hospital bed...zlatan is standing over him
Zlatan-"i am dep throat, i am deep throat ha ha ha. god that never gets old"
Fabby-"what? what is going on"
Fabio C bursts in the room
Fabio C-"get away from him you cum-gargler...oh my god he is awake"
Fabby-"what am i doing here?the last i remember there was a crazed lithuianian who thought he was a sex god and a man called jack who had the distinct odour of hemp"
Fabio C-"we....we...had to find away to knock you out of your hypnosis"
Fabby-"how??"
Zlatan-" they got zidane to knock you back to the stoneage with his head of fury"
Fabio C-"get out of here before i lodge my hand so far down your throat you will need to ask me for permission to wipe your arse"
Fabby-"fabio,fabio...i know who deep throat is........"

who is the mysterious deep throat?will they be able to put an end to his dastardly ways?can you guys wait 9 days to find out??tough you are gonna have to....

fabby's diary will return when bozi returns from holiday...have fun guys:toast:

 

[Bozi]

Episode 35

inside The Basilica of Superga a rather disturbed looking Fabio C is saying a prayer at the alter, as he finishes and stands up he moves to the confessional booth and enters...for he has a meeting that could destroy his career

Fabio C-"the road to redemption is fraught with danger"
Deep Throat-"when you walk the path of righteousness, you need not fear god"
Fabio C-"so it is you?"
deep Throat-"yes, but i do not understand why you asked for this meeting. how did you know to find me?"
Fabio C-"fabby knows who you are, when he said it was you it shook me to the core"
Deep Throat-"yet you are his right hand man, i suppose he is laying atrap for me?"
Fabio C-"yes he knows all about the plan to video tape him in the shower with emo and becks and send it on la marca. it is then he will spring his trap on you"
Deep Throat-"so why are you telling me this?"
Fabio C-"i thought you were some crackpot who was after fabby, know i realise that you are embittered at what he done to juve"
Deep Throat-"we should not be surprised after all he is a man of no honour and his word means nothing"
Fabio C-but i owe everything to juve,they rescued me and helped me become a winner again"
Deep Throat-"but that still does not explain why you feel the need to defend me"
Fabio C-"us juventini and world cup winners need to stick together, i will be in touch, but lie low in the time being"

fabio c, leaves the confessional and crosses himself then leaves quickly, one minute later deep thoat leaves through another exit and picks up his phone
Deep Throat-"it seems we have a problem,fabby is on to us. tell vlatko to speed up production on the giant piss baloon catapult, oh and get enron and burke to drink more beer, we need all the piss we can muster, time is running out for me, we need to go out with a bang"

will deep throat succeed in his plan to flood the bernabeu with piss on a match day? or will fabby track him down first?will fabio c's treachory be revealed? will everyone be pissed coz they thought i was NAMING deep throat? find out more in the next instalment

 

[Bozi]

Episode 36

In a secret location del piero and his band of renegade misfits are working furiously building a giant catapult and filling several thousand balloons with urine
Del Pie-"gentlemen, how are we getting on?"
Bozi-"very good sir, the catapult is working excellently, we ahve carried out a test firing"
Del Pie-"test firing?dear god,why wasnt i informed?"
The Pado-"well sir, the first rule of project piss baloon is that you dont ask questions. besides it was my idea,we managed to narrow down the range so it is incredibly accurate"
Del Pie-"where did this test firing land?"
the Pado-"it hit a deck chair dwelling loser in canada, fabby's security dont know anything"
Del Pie-"welll we need to get piss baloon filling up to double speed, we know that fabby is on to the boss, that why he is not with us just now"
Bozi-"we have diverted several lorry lods of beer straight down the throats of burke,aaron,fliakis and even abu joined in, these soldiers are working double time for our cause. piss production is up 20%"
Del Pie-"well boys lets keep up the good work"

meanwhile deep throat, is sneaking through fabby's stronghold of madrid undetected, he is looking to shut down their communication network,wen a voice from behind startles him
Fabby-"i knew you would come here-Marcelo"
Deep Throat-"then you will know taht we will never stop, never cease till we have put an end to your evil and juventus are restored back at teh summit of european football"
Fabby-"i will crush you"
Deep Throat-"strike me down fabby and i will become even more powewrful than you ever imagined"
Fabby-"well let us see"
Fabby goes to grab deep throat and he mysteriously disapears, faby looks arund for him but can only find his shroud
Fabby-"where have you gone?"

is this the end of deep throat?who will guide the rebels to victory?will boz get sued for breach of copyright?find out more when the diary of fabby returns

 

[Bozi]

Episode 37

Alex del piero is in mourning, he has lost his mentor lippi and he has lost the will to battle on against fabby. rab calls him and asks to meet
Rab-"alex man, you really need to shake out of it. the fight has to continue"
Alex-"but without lippi's great brain how are we ever gonna bring down fabby?"
Rab-"don't worry....the catapult is close to completion,think of all we have achieved,are you gonna let abu,pado,all the boys down?"
Alex-"you think we can pull it off?"
Rab-"we can pull it off better than Burke in a ladies locker room,bozi has the co-ordinates programmed into the giant catapult,we gonna make the bernabeu look like a giant piss-pool"
Alex-"ok the fight will continue...i will make lippi proud"

meanwhile in madrid,fabby has been celebrating in his favoured way, emerson, tonino,a bottle of dom perignon and a jacuzzi
Tonino="gee boss, i really feel the bubbles masaging my scrotum"
Fabby-"no,that is my foot"
Emo-"what are we celebrating boss?"
Fabby-"the downfall of deep throat, the rebels will crumble like the crust underneath my forskin"
emo-"you are not worried anymore"
Fabby-"what can they do?with all my boys surrounding me and fabio c keeping me safe,i can go on buggering your rectal passage without worrying about being exposed"
Tonino-"its good to be back boss"
Fabby-"yes,nothing can go wrong now"

in another room fabio c is placing a call
Fabio C-"hello,yes this line is secure.....just tell me,do you want the pictures or not?"

has fabio c turned against fabby?will alex and rab be able to turn the tide back against fabby?will emerson or tonino need a guide rope to return from fabby's cavernous shitter?stay tuned when fabby's diary returns....the struggle continues

 

[Bozi]

Episode 38

back in italy and cuntface moratti is pleased with the way the season is going, despite adriano playing like a thai hooker with a ping-pong-ball still stuck up her front bottom. cuntface and manky bastard mancini are having a meeting

Manky-"hey boss,just wanted to pop ina nd make sure you are happy with how things are going"
Cuntface-"things are going well,too well actually...i am not used to all this success. however i hoped we would top our Cl group"
Manky-"well oss i tried to rest players for the big coppa italia matches, you know that is my main priority this year"
Cunface-"isnt the scudetto your main priority?"
Manky-"scudetto?nah i think we will let inter win it and you can cakll them cheats and get them to give it to us again"
Cuntface-" thats the only way we will win it with you in charge"
Manky-"anyway boss i am worried...adriano has been...well...shite since he and zlatan split up, he has been chasing vieira's cock"
Cuntface-"dont worry i am gonna swap him for the next up and coming player messi, cant wait to ruin his career"

meanwhile,over in turin rab and delpie are carrying out a test firing of the giant catapult
Rab-"ok do we have the co-ordinates?"
Alex-"yes we know this is more accurate than a scud missile"
Rab-"do we have the coffe can full of shit?"
Alex-"yes...thanks pado"
Rab-"ok...on my marks....3.......2.......1....FIRE"

back in cuntfaces office
Cuntface-"okay then we are finished here let us..."
suddenly a window smashes and a can smashes Manky in the face
Cuntface-"what the???oh look a can of nutella"

when will the rebels fire the piss baloons of fabby?when will inter self destruct? what is happening with zlatan and his humongous asshole? find out more when fabby's diary returns

 

[Bozi]

Episode 39

fabby is anxious emerson is late for a meeting of great importance

Fabby-"what is taking this idiot?"
Fabio C-"i dont know boss,its not like him"
Fabby-"this is even worse than when i was supposed to meet totti and beckham and they got trapped in the revolving door of the hotel for 3 hours"
Fabio C-"aye i remember that, they had to get a fire crew to cut them out"
Tonino-"boss its getting past my bed-time,are you gonna come tuck me in?"
Fabby-"not now tonino,damn i wish i could just give you a carrot to make you happy like i do with ruud"
Tonino-"I HATE YOU"
Emerson bursts into the room, drenched with sweat and panting
Fabby-"whats wrong with you boy?you look like i just jizzed on your face for the 7th time"
Emerson-"its bad boss.....real bad....it seems deep throat is back......"
Fabby-"impossible i struck him down"
Emerson-"it appears that lippi was just a cover"
Fabby-"then what does he want?"
Emerson-"we...we just dont know boss...but we know he is working on something big"

how can this be true?is deep throat real,or just a cover for the operation? what is fabby taking to make him able to jizz 7 times in a row?i dont think i wanna know......

 

[Bozi]

Episode 40

rab and alex are forming a formidable army of juventini to help avenge the disapearance of deep throat,while also giving fabby hell. project menace is moving along nicely and rab is adressing the troops

Alex-"whats the first rule of project menace is?"
Everyone-"you dont talk about project Menace SIR!!"
Rab-"ok troops where do we stand on progress?"
Pado-"well sir we managed to accomplish 2 missions in one"
Abu-"yes sir we tested the range of the catapult and also knocked manky-bastard mancini out"
Pado-"with a freshly squeezed coffe can full of shit may i add"
Rab-"that is fine work boys"
Alex-"michael cutajar,how is your infiltration of fabby's camp going?"
Michael cutajar-"i have been posing as a maltese rent boy. emerson has penchant for late night cruising and i am just his type"
Alex-"well done soldier,what have you learned?"
Michael cutajar-"emerson looks jewish naked"
Alex-"nothing else?"
Michael cutajar-"no boss all i know is they are spooked about something"
Alex-"with the help of Fabio C i have managed to spread some mis-information. so far we have managed to cause panic in the real camp by making them believe lippi is back"
Pado-"sir the catapult is ready, we just await the completion of the piss baloons"
Burke-"I am on it,just been out for more beer"
Alex-"excellent,troops dismissed"

Meanwhile capello is sweating and has locked himself in his room
Fabio C-"boss, boss, come out from there"
Emerson-"i have not seen him lock away this long since he saw vieira in the shower first time"
Fabby-" i am not coming out till i know it is safe,deep throat will be out for revenge"
Fabio C-"we have people working round the clock on this chief"
Fabby-"i aint coming out,ruud,go get me a tub of vaseline,some tequila and tell tonino to get his swet schoolboy ass in here"
Ruud-"CLUMP CLUMP"
Fabio C-"aye i am glad that aint me either"

will fabby's growing paranioia drive him into insanity?will tonino finally lose some of his puppy fat with all the rear jockying?will tthe troops be successful in their piss baloon quest?all this and more to come