Stolen from today's Fiver...
Today is the tenth anniversary of Arsenal Wenger replacing Bruce Rioch as Arsene manager, so it's a day of wild celebration for Gooners. Which, given that two fans were ejected from the Emirates Stadium last Saturday for the grotesque crime of singing, probably means gathering around a turned-off iPod and whispering "for he's a jolly good fellow". Still, it would be churlish of us not to mark the occasion by listing the Frenchman's impressive achievements. . .
Since arriving at Highbury in 1996, Wenger has led the Gunners to three Premierships, four FA Cups, two European finals and 4,768 red cards. More than that, he has transformed the team from a boring bunch of grinders into a sensational amalgam of gifted artists, elite athletes and Justin Hoyte. In 2003-04, his side was the first English side to go a whole season unbeaten in over a century, and they built on that by finishing 12 points behind ch€£$k¥ the following year.
Some of these feats were pulled off despite stringent financial constraints imposed by the club's switch to a new ground, and this is where the economics graduate's famed mastery of the transfer market came into play. Ingenious bargain buys include Nicolas Anelka, Thierry Henry, Patrick Vieira, Freddie Ljungberg and Cesc Fabregas, not to mention Nelson Vivas, Pascal Cygan and Franny Jeffers. No seriously, not to mention them. That's exactly what the man everyone thinks is Arsenal chairman but actually isn't, David Dein, didn't do today, when he again hailed Wenger as a hero and said he'd have a job at Arsenal for life. "We want him for the rest of his career," gushed the media-hungry vice chairman. "If he wanted to give up the tracksuit he'd be invaluable in the boardroom in a technical role."
All of which means that even Lahn's Lahn Evenin Stannah, who famously greeted the Frenchman's arrival from Nagoya Grampus Eight with the headline 'Arsene Who?', must agree that Wenger is the greatest thing to come from Japan since beer-pumping robotic chopsticks with built-in coffee-maker and skis. Or something.
Today is the tenth anniversary of Arsenal Wenger replacing Bruce Rioch as Arsene manager, so it's a day of wild celebration for Gooners. Which, given that two fans were ejected from the Emirates Stadium last Saturday for the grotesque crime of singing, probably means gathering around a turned-off iPod and whispering "for he's a jolly good fellow". Still, it would be churlish of us not to mark the occasion by listing the Frenchman's impressive achievements. . .
Since arriving at Highbury in 1996, Wenger has led the Gunners to three Premierships, four FA Cups, two European finals and 4,768 red cards. More than that, he has transformed the team from a boring bunch of grinders into a sensational amalgam of gifted artists, elite athletes and Justin Hoyte. In 2003-04, his side was the first English side to go a whole season unbeaten in over a century, and they built on that by finishing 12 points behind ch€£$k¥ the following year.
Some of these feats were pulled off despite stringent financial constraints imposed by the club's switch to a new ground, and this is where the economics graduate's famed mastery of the transfer market came into play. Ingenious bargain buys include Nicolas Anelka, Thierry Henry, Patrick Vieira, Freddie Ljungberg and Cesc Fabregas, not to mention Nelson Vivas, Pascal Cygan and Franny Jeffers. No seriously, not to mention them. That's exactly what the man everyone thinks is Arsenal chairman but actually isn't, David Dein, didn't do today, when he again hailed Wenger as a hero and said he'd have a job at Arsenal for life. "We want him for the rest of his career," gushed the media-hungry vice chairman. "If he wanted to give up the tracksuit he'd be invaluable in the boardroom in a technical role."
All of which means that even Lahn's Lahn Evenin Stannah, who famously greeted the Frenchman's arrival from Nagoya Grampus Eight with the headline 'Arsene Who?', must agree that Wenger is the greatest thing to come from Japan since beer-pumping robotic chopsticks with built-in coffee-maker and skis. Or something.
