All I know is, it can't be @Lion, as he would -rep them all the time, which would confuse the hell out of them. Especially since they don't know what -rep is. So they would constantly be thinking about what it is, instead of focusing on the match ahead. Can't be @JCK either, as he would convince them that they're gonna lose the next match for whatever reason. @Fr3sh would smoke so much weed in the dressing room that we'd become a slow, careless team (Pirlo being the only player who would appreciate our beloved Freshy). @Salvo would bore them to death with his gf problems, @Alen would troll them so hard using his alterego Marcello that they won't even know which club they're playing for any longer, @Zacheryah would make them all feel like inferior men due to his penis size and @Völler would just freak them the fuck out.
So... Who could it be??