Like the office dark horse who is by night a dance-floor lothario,
Damien Duff's recent form for the Republic of Ireland has been
unremarkable compared to his club displays. Roy Keane has been plod
too. But such is the paucity of quality in the Irish squad that the
injured pair will be sorely missed tomorrow when Brian Kerr's men
host Switzerland knowing that three points will earn them a crack at
the World Cup play-offs and anything less, mass derision ... not to
mention a P45 for their manager. So for all concerned, there was some
good news today. And bad memories.
The good news is that Shay Given, the goalkeeper who was left to fend
off Cyprus by himself last Saturday after his team-mates failed to
negotiate their way past the dressing room door, has recovered from a
knock to one of his 40 limbs and will be fit to resume rescue work
tomorrow. However, the bad memories derive from almost everything
that has gone before in the reign of Kerr, who has presided over some
of the most soulless Irish performances since the break-up of
Boyzone.
The worst of these, coincidentally, was two years ago against
Switzerland when a play-off place was stake. Unperturbed by the
spectre of the spiritless 2-0 defeat that cost Ireland a place at
Euro 2004, Kerr today insisted he's finally managed to motivate his
men. "We will go out with all guns blazing! We'll give it everything
we've got to qualify for the World Cup finals!" he roared, as
realists wondered why he didn't stop before the word 'with'.
But Swiss coach Kubi Kuhn seems to have been taken in, droning: "I
would be a fool if I had no respect for the Irish. We might have more
class than them but they will put the pressure on." And while lazy
national stereotypes are all well and good, Kubi should know by now
that, to today's modern Irish millionaire players, representing your
country seems to mean little more than a free trip home.