Police Festival Brings Fans To Life
Football Italia
May 3, 2008
Treviso supporters were given a spectacular treat during their side's match against Grosetto this afternoon. A policewoman, watching the match by the curva, reportedly shot herself in the head after screaming at the pitch.
"Fuck this game, fuck this life, I'm shooting myself in the head," the policewoman screamed according to reports. "This game makes my pussy dry."
Treviso Ultras saw the suicide attempt in clear view, drawing their attention away from the apparent boring match on the field of play. When the shot rang out, the Treviso supporters started to chant and were amused by the whole event.
"It was so amazing," noted one Treviso supporter. "Calcio is in such a dry spell right now, so we need to do anything to liven up the matches. We should have someone shoot themselves in the face in every match!" Another supporter stated the suicide attempt was "inspirational."
Instead of canceling the match after the attempt, FIGC officials ruled that the match should continue as both sets of fans were filled with ecstasy. One official noted that, after the shooting, the supporters could be heard several kilometers away chanting and making glorious music that everyone adored.
In related news, Christian Vieri has blamed his penalty miss last Thursday on a lack of a shooting in the stadium. "You know, I would have made that penalty if someone blew their head off that day right next to me," the striker commented.
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