Nick Against the World (57 Viewers)

KB824

Senior Member
Sep 16, 2003
31,789
++ [ originally posted by Andy ] ++


No, he fled to Argentina a la Adolf Eichmann and changed his name to Damecabeza in an attempt to escape Israeli forces. Then he used his scientific knowledge to help the Buenos Aires drug cartel make a new kind of GHB which ladies fall in love with hicks, just to help West Virginia out of their long struggle with inbreeding. Then members of Isane Clown Posse in Detroit recruited him to make a GHB which makes anybody other than gay black guys fall in love with them.

Wow, that was actually really funny.



Which only means one thing.



This isn't really Andy
 

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IncuboRossonero

IncuboRossonero

Inferiority complex
Nov 16, 2003
7,039
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread Starter #9,343
    Signor Oaks I think there is a home depot or bed, bath and beyond calling out your name for a crazy week-end of coupon clipping and do-it-yourself installments :cheesy:
    You too Kevin ...

    Zlatan: despite popular belief I'm not 4'2 and not sexually starved (jog on gentlemen you have me confused with the Grays and Donny's: see Emma's first post for evidence).
    The sending of the drink thing COULD WORK if you already met the lady once before...then it is a COOL/different way of saying HELLO again rather than the tacky covering her eyes from behind and the lame "guess who" or the "hey stranger" line that merits an instant "beating".
    However, for a first time encounter..unless your a celebrity and the woman is DYING to get some attention from you..forget it.
    Bottom line: depends the place...depends the situation...depends the lady. Its a case by case basis Zlatty.
    Emmz..do you concur? :lazy:
     

    Zlatan

    Senior Member
    Jun 9, 2003
    23,049
    ++ [ originally posted by IncuboRossonero ] ++
    Signor Oaks I think there is a home depot or bed, bath and beyond calling out your name for a crazy week-end of coupon clipping and do-it-yourself installments :cheesy:
    You too Kevin ...

    Zlatan: despite popular belief I'm not 4'2 and not sexually starved (jog on gentlemen you have me confused with the Grays and Donny's: see Emma's first post for evidence).
    The sending of the drink thing COULD WORK if you already met the lady once before...then it is a COOL/different way of saying HELLO again rather than the tacky covering her eyes from behind and the lame "guess who" or the "hey stranger" line that merits an instant "beating".
    However, for a first time encounter..unless your a celebrity and the woman is DYING to get some attention from you..forget it.
    Bottom line: depends the place...depends the situation...depends the lady. Its a case by case basis Zlatty.
    Emmz..do you concur? :lazy:

    Thanks for the advice, first time we're talking and not trying to kill eachother (so to speak).
     

    swag

    L'autista
    Administrator
    Sep 23, 2003
    84,968
    ++ [ originally posted by Don Bes ] ++
    so whats do you advice me shorty
    You don't want my advice, DB. Before I was married, I once hit a bar after a softball game with a friend and we were messing around with this one attractive woman who was sitting at a table in the back among what looked like a number of her coworkers. We couldn't scrounge up enough loose change in our sweats for much beyond our own drinks at the time. But looking at the bar menu, we realized we had enough to buy her a side order of cole slaw. And nothing says "smooth operator" like a nice bowl of chopped cabbage in mayonnaise.

    To our surprise, her reaction wasn't "Oh my god, I'm being stalked by a psycho killer with a condiment fetish in a sports bar!" Maybe it was the presence of her coworkers that kept her from dialing 9-1-1, but she did actually come over and talk to us for a while. But the truth was, the best part of the whole ordeal was laughing my spleen out in the process of instructing the waitress to execute our cole slaw plot.

    But my advice: don't buy a woman cole slaw if you're really that interested.
     

    swag

    L'autista
    Administrator
    Sep 23, 2003
    84,968
    In hindsight, if I could have bought her a drink, she could have taken a little teasing from her nearby coworkers, waved, gone back to her business, and that would have been it. But with cole slaw, the peer pressure was so great that she simply couldn't ignore us.

    Now if only cole slaw left a better first impression...
     

    Bjerknes

    "Top Economist"
    Mar 16, 2004
    116,996
    ++ [ originally posted by swag ] ++
    In hindsight, if I could have bought her a drink, she could have taken a little teasing from her nearby coworkers, waved, gone back to her business, and that would have been it. But with cole slaw, the peer pressure was so great that she simply couldn't ignore us.

    Now if only cole slaw left a better first impression...
    That actually was a good idea. Some females have a soft spot for pathetic hookup attempts. The more pathetic, the better. :D
     

    Lilianna

    Senior Member
    Apr 3, 2003
    15,969
    ++ [ originally posted by Zlatan ] ++
    Well, I'm not almighty actually, it seems I have problems closing the deal.

    As far as approach, conversation, charm, etc, is concerned I'm quite good actually, but I just cant close the deal.
    welcome to the club!:groan:
     

    Dan

    Back & Quack
    Mar 9, 2004
    9,290
    ++ [ originally posted by swag ] ++


    You don't want my advice, DB. Before I was married, I once hit a bar after a softball game with a friend and we were messing around with this one attractive woman who was sitting at a table in the back among what looked like a number of her coworkers. We couldn't scrounge up enough loose change in our sweats for much beyond our own drinks at the time. But looking at the bar menu, we realized we had enough to buy her a side order of cole slaw. And nothing says "smooth operator" like a nice bowl of chopped cabbage in mayonnaise.

    To our surprise, her reaction wasn't "Oh my god, I'm being stalked by a psycho killer with a condiment fetish in a sports bar!" Maybe it was the presence of her coworkers that kept her from dialing 9-1-1, but she did actually come over and talk to us for a while. But the truth was, the best part of the whole ordeal was laughing my spleen out in the process of instructing the waitress to execute our cole slaw plot.

    But my advice: don't buy a woman cole slaw if you're really that interested.
    :howler:

    Brilliant
     

    KB824

    Senior Member
    Sep 16, 2003
    31,789
    ++ [ originally posted by Padovano ] ++
    I used to offer the woman $20 to masturbate in her shoe. Sound crazy? Well, there were a lot of women hobbling home with one shoe on in the 1980's. :D
    We were just getting out of Jimmy Carter's economic disaster. You could've talked them down to $10
     

    KB824

    Senior Member
    Sep 16, 2003
    31,789
    ++ [ originally posted by Lilianna ] ++


    welcome to the club!:groan:

    How can a woman NOT close the deal?

    Especially an attractive one.

    You do realize that most men would nail a rattlesnake if someone held it down for them.






    Note to self: Stop off at pharmacy and pick up anti-venom
     

    The Pado

    Filthy Gobbo
    Jul 12, 2002
    9,939
    ++ [ originally posted by Don Bes ] ++
    so whats do you advice me shorty
    If I may offer my own advice, Donny - take out a Personals ad in an Albanian newspaper:

    Attention Ladies! Are your tired of searching the bars for the right man? Stop wasting your time, and meet the man who put the Balls in "Balkans". The Albanian of your dreams is now a reality. Call Don Bes for the best First Date of your life. He's handsome, he's intelligent, He loves the Lakers, and he's a great listener. If Don Bes isn't the best First Date you've ever had, we'll pay for your airfare back to Tirana.

    Still not convinced? Well, if you go out with Don Bes right away we will even throw in Canadian citizenship and a chance at living in the world-class city of Toronto (i.e. many great alternatives if Don doesn't work out for you).
     

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