Nick Against the World (72 Viewers)

[swag]

So Greg was the one. I had heard that a white guy was spotted in East Orange after a 47 year absence. Congrats.

It was quite an event. The mayor posed to have pictures taken with me. He was shocked that I "mostly spoke English" and he could understand me.

I was also told that the East Orange anthropologists may have to rewrite their history books.

Wait, there are no anthropologists in East Orange. Wait, there aren't even people who can read in East Orange.

Nevermind. I keep confusing myself with Charlton Heston.

Whitey on the Moon nothing... I was Whitey in East Orange.

 

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[The Pado]

You know East Orange is fucked up when a guy from the East Bay isn't used to being the only white face in the crowd.

 

[The Pado]

When I was in High School, we used to go over to East Orange and get our asses kicked in basketball to the tune of 96-41. But then when we showed up for swim meet, this was the scene at ole Clifford Scott High:

 

[The Pado]

And then Fat Freddy and I would run out and show our tits to the bros, cause everyone knows that a white chick is black man's kryptonite (j/k) (but serious)

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

Andy on Skype:

"Dude, that has to be one of the weirdest pictures I've ever seen. But YO, YO, I guarantee you that is Lilian Thuram on the right, that height, that facial expression..."

 

[swag]

When I was in High School, we used to go over to East Orange and get our asses kicked in basketball to the tune of 96-41. But then when we showed up for swim meet, this was the scene at ole Clifford Scott High:

How can you not love that picture every time? The sheer genius behind it has no limits.

Anything that makes Abu Ghraib seem like kindergarten play does that for me I suppose.

And yeah... that's gotta be Lilian on the right, Andy.

And then Fat Freddy and I would run out and show our tits to the bros, cause everyone knows that a white chick is black man's kryptonite (j/k) (but serious)

Even better when the white chick is carrying an extra 50 pounds. Because besides having frizzy 80's hair and driving a disproportionate number of the driveable Chevy Camaros still in service, the female of the NJ species typically carries only an extra 10-15 pounds -- making these 50-pound-plus overweight Michelin ladies highly prized arm candy for an aspiring black man.

42-39-56... you could say she's got it all. :drill:

 

[The Pado]

So there is this tranny who hangs out downtown with his boyfriend. He dresses like a chick, wears his hair like a chick, but has the face of Mugsy from The Bowrey Boys. Everytime he walks past me I think, "dude, you're not fooling anyone."

But yesterday, I'm walking down the street and I see the back of someone waiting for the bus, standing in a provocative pose, and I think "damn, I'd like to rope that ass", as the ass looked really nice in its white skirt. And then that fucking Tranny turns around and Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

The dude who isn't fooling anyone just fooled me. What a fuck I am.

 

[Enron]

Guys, I have recently added something on facebook entitled:

"People I Hope Die in a Plane Crash"

and so far i have:

David Beckham, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Massimo Moratti, Victoria Beckham, Cristiano Ronaldo, Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, Kim Jong Il, Lil' Wayne, Jay-Z, The Whole Chinese Government, Steven Gerrard, Kaka, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Ted Turner, Bill O'Reilly, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Beck, Rupert Murdock, Tom Cruise, Terrell Owens, Ayotolah Kamini.


Who am I missing?

Oliver Kahn.

 

[swag]

So there is this tranny who hangs out downtown with his boyfriend. He dresses like a chick, wears his hair like a chick, but has the face of Mugsy from The Bowrey Boys. Everytime he walks past me I think, "dude, you're not fooling anyone."

But yesterday, I'm walking down the street and I see the back of someone waiting for the bus, standing in a provocative pose, and I think "damn, I'd like to rope that ass", as the ass looked really nice in its white skirt. And then that fucking Tranny turns around and Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

The dude who isn't fooling anyone just fooled me. What a fuck I am.

See.

Reminds me of the "woman" I used to run into regularly on the 42 bus downtown who got off at the Levi's Square stop. (I am sure I've mentioned her before.) 6'3", high cheeckbones, and long legs on this ebony beauty. And a pretty damn big adam's apple and shoulders like Michael Strahan (that one's for you, Dru ).

Damn, that was one fine ... whatever it was. And everytime "she" got on the bus, I had to try to stop laughing because her theme song would always start playing in my head: the Bee Gee's "More Than a Woman".

 

[.zero]

See.

Reminds me of the "woman" I used to run into regularly on the 42 bus downtown who got off at the Levi's Square stop. (I am sure I've mentioned her before.) 6'3", high cheeckbones, and long legs on this ebony beauty. And a pretty damn big adam's apple and shoulders like Michael Strahan (that one's for you, Dru ).

Damn, that was one fine ... whatever it was. And everytime "she" got on the bus, I had to try to stop laughing because her theme song would always start playing in my head: the Bee Gee's "More Than a Woman".

i know chicks with gaps in their teeth bigger than strahan. oh my, most indian girls look like dudes so think of the torture indian guys must go through on a daily basis!

 

[The Pado]

See.

Reminds me of the "woman" I used to run into regularly on the 42 bus downtown who got off at the Levi's Square stop. (I am sure I've mentioned her before.) 6'3", high cheeckbones, and long legs on this ebony beauty. And a pretty damn big adam's apple and shoulders like Michael Strahan (that one's for you, Dru ).

Damn, that was one fine ... whatever it was. And everytime "she" got on the bus, I had to try to stop laughing because her theme song would always start playing in my head: the Bee Gee's "More Than a Woman".

I'm sure your Tranny is far better looking than my meat-faced plum smuggler, but his ass did look good in that skirt.

 

[GordoDeCentral]

someone just sent me a fucked up video, and it is fucked up coz it actually made me laugh http://www.ejb.com/video/1241/Extreme_racist.html

 

[swag]

someone just sent me a fucked up video, and it is fucked up coz it actually made me laugh http://www.ejb.com/video/1241/Extreme_racist.html

So I realize I am watching this video while I am wearing a "Nientiendo" T-shirt (an inside joke en español on the Nintendo logo -- it's even funnier if you're a gringo)....

 

[The Pado]

Gotta love Babel Fish - Alessio Secco is known as Dry Alessio. All this following the departure of our unpopular coach, Fabio Hat.

 

[swag]

You should try Ryan Babel Fish. Everything you translate with it comes out as "I'm better than Thierry Henry".

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

penisdick to my own facehead

 

[The Pado]

penisdick to my own facehead

This a direct quote from a Babel Fish translation form a Gazzetta article about Momo Sissoko today. The article, and I am not making this up, begins, "black Heart has a house white woman." WTF?? So, it is only fitting that the article goes on to say "penisdick to my own facehead. Tranny smuggling plums punched in headside penisface by Danny Partridge Bonnadouchebag.

 

[swag]

Also from today's New York Times...

July 13, TORINO - On the heels of announcing the signing of 28-year-old Danish midfielder, Christian Poulsen, Juventus have have revealed the history-making signing of 8-year-old Spanish midfielder, Mighty Joe Young.

Mr. Young represents a breakthrough in world soccer as the sport's first trans-species transfer (excluding Marco Materazzi). Just this week, upon the news that Spain is about to grant human rights to apes (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/13/weekinreview/13mcneil.html), Mr. Young applied for his E.U. passport and put his inked palm to paper, signing the services of famous Spanish football agent, Eli Coimbra -- who represents football stars such as Euro 2008 hero, Marcos Senna.

Juventus transfer chief, Alessio Secco -- not to be undone by the news of another hot European midfield prospect with a fighting spirit, instincts for provocation, and minimal understanding of the Italian language -- immediately signed Mr. Young to a €8m, 5-year deal, which includes a special clause for all the bananas Mr. Young can eat.

MOVE OVER SENNA Mighty Joe Young, a fearsome midfield destroyer, relaxes after a practice session in Zaragoza Sunday.

 

[Bjerknes]

I love it.

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

Gotta love Babel Fish - Alessio Secco is known as Dry Alessio. All this following the departure of our unpopular coach, Fabio Hat.

You should try Ryan Babel Fish. Everything you translate with it comes out as "I'm better than Thierry Henry".

This a direct quote from a Babel Fish translation form a Gazzetta article about Momo Sissoko today. The article, and I am not making this up, begins, "black Heart has a house white woman." WTF?? So, it is only fitting that the article goes on to say "penisdick to my own facehead. Tranny smuggling plums punched in headside penisface by Danny Partridge Bonnadouchebag.

Also from today's New York Times...

TO ALL OF THIS!