Liverpool joke (1 Viewer)

[Zlatan]

A bloke goes into the John Lennon Airport and manages to eventually get into the departure lounge where his flight home is being called. All around him there are overturned tables, smashed windows, computer terminals broken, upturned chairs and crowd control barriers lying on the floor. "Christ, what's happened here?" he asks one of the ground crew. "Oh yeah...", he replies "Absolutely hopeless .... we had the Liverpool players in here this morning filming the new Nike ad".


All this stuff is funny because its true

 

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[Dragon]

++ [ originally posted by GOAT ] ++
Liverpool signed a player from FC Kabul, in Afghanistan. He arrived to the club and on his first practice Houllier went: "Ball" and pointed at the ball. Then he pointed at the goal and said "Goal". Then he kicked the ball into the goal and said: "Put the ball in the goal like this. See, it´s called a G-o-o-o-oal! It´s not very hard"

The player said: "I´m sorry mr Houllier, but I understand English very well"

Houllier: "I wasn´t talking to you, I was talking to Heskey..."

LOL

 

[gray]

:LOL: good ones Zlatan.

My favourites were:

++ [ originally posted by GOAT ] ++

"Great," says his Mum, "let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were attacked and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time".

The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mum, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry?!" says his Mum ...

"Its your fault that we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"

++ [ originally posted by GOAT ] ++
David Blaine has given up his controversial stunt.
He was told that 44 days doing nothing in a box is not going to break the record which is currently held by Emile Heskey at 4 years

++ [ originally posted by GOAT ] ++
"Can you manage dear?" to which the old lady replied, "no way, you got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"

 

[Henry]

funny, but feck off......bugger you all...........at least those of you that don't support Liverpool. Heskey isn't as bad as everyone says!!! calm down! what is this? it's like that if you want to be anyone you have to make up a joke about Heskey! stupid...........but the jokes were funny

 

[Meow]

++ [ originally posted by -S- ] ++
erm...funny ones :LOL: I did come across some good ones on MU

Care to share with us your MU jokes...

Actually I'd like to read jokes on football teams, I don't mind if they're on Juventus!!

 

[Henry]

hehe-guess who has scored 2 against Blackburn already today????
yep, it's Heskey

 

[Majed]

:LOL:
:thumb: @ the nike commercial one

 

[gray]

Hey, I don't care what team they're about, I'd have no problems reading jokes about Juventus, as long as they're funny and smart. Though many of these won't really apply, unless you're talking about Zalayeta. The Turin or Lippi jokes don't really work though nor the Nike commercial, since most of our players' control = :thumb::strong:

 

[mikhail]

++ [ originally posted by Majed ] ++
:LOL:
:thumb: @ the nike commercial one

Yeah, that's an old favourite of mine too.

 

[Henry]

ok....what the hell is the nike commercial??

 

[Zlatan]

What??? :undecide:

 

[Meow]

The nike commercial done with the Brazil NT in which they played football in an airport terminal, if I'm not wrong

 

[Henry]

thanks-people keep refering to it, but I had no clue what it was

 

[Meow]

Nike : Brazil airport

And I like that "Pepsi- Beckham's Bad Day" ad very much....Forza Juve!!

 

[Desmond]

++ [ originally posted by GOAT ] ++
Gerard Houllier was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket carpark when he noticed an old lady struggling with her shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" to which the old lady replied, "no way, you got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"

:LOL::LOL: