Liverpool joke (1 Viewer)

Zlatan

Senior Member
Jun 9, 2003
23,039
#1
Liverpool manager Gerard Houllier sends scouts out round the world looking for a new striker to replace Emile Heskey, and hopefully win Liverpool the title.

One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. So Gerard flies to Iraq to watch him and is suitably impressed, and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down at home to Man Utd with only 20 minutes left. Houllier gives the young Iraqi striker the nod to go on, and takes off Emile Heskey. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

When he comes off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in English football.

"Hi Mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down, but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the players and the media, they all love me".

"Great," says his Mum, "let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were attacked and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time".

The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mum, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry?!" says his Mum ...



"Its your fault that we moved to Liverpool in the first place!" :D
 
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Zlatan

Senior Member
Jun 9, 2003
23,039
#4
Sadam Hussein did a T.V. interview to prove he is alive. He said,'To prove I'm alive Liverpool were totally shite on Saturday. The British Government said,'That proves nothing, it could have been recorded any time in the last few years!" :D
 
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Zlatan

Senior Member
Jun 9, 2003
23,039
#5
Liverpool signed a player from FC Kabul, in Afghanistan. He arrived to the club and on his first practice Houllier went: "Ball" and pointed at the ball. Then he pointed at the goal and said "Goal". Then he kicked the ball into the goal and said: "Put the ball in the goal like this. See, it´s called a G-o-o-o-oal! It´s not very hard"

The player said: "I´m sorry mr Houllier, but I understand English very well"

Houllier: "I wasn´t talking to you, I was talking to Heskey..." :D
 
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Zlatan

Senior Member
Jun 9, 2003
23,039
#6
David Blaine has given up his controversial stunt.
He was told that 44 days doing nothing in a box is not going to break the record which is currently held by Emile Heskey at 4 years :D
 

vitoria_Ally

Senior Member
Jul 14, 2002
7,232
#9
++ [ originally posted by GOAT ] ++
Sadam Hussein did a T.V. interview to prove he is alive. He said,'To prove I'm alive Liverpool were totally shite on Saturday. The British Government said,'That proves nothing, it could have been recorded any time in the last few years!" :D
That's funny :D

However I like Liverpool :groan:
 

mikhail

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2003
9,575
#14
++ [ originally posted by vitoria_Ally ] ++
However I like Liverpool :groan:
:fero::fool::boxing:

I have to admit, I've seen all of those jokes before. And I'm quite happy to make fun of Heskey, though he does get far more abuse than he deserves. Even Rivaldo said that he'd get into the Brazilian team!
 

Dj Juve

Senior Member
Jul 12, 2002
9,597
#15
++ [ originally posted by vitoria_Ally ] ++


DJ, you are so surprised, like you joined this forum today ;)
You made this :dazed: few times in EPL thread already :D
really?! lol, but why vit? why Liverpool? :dazed: :p ;)
 

Martin

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2000
56,862
#19
++ [ originally posted by GOAT ] ++
David Blaine has given up his controversial stunt.
He was told that 44 days doing nothing in a box is not going to break the record which is currently held by Emile Heskey at 4 years :D
Slam dunk :cool:
 
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Zlatan

Senior Member
Jun 9, 2003
23,039
#20
Gerard Houllier was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket carpark when he noticed an old lady struggling with her shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" to which the old lady replied, "no way, you got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!" :D
 

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