Juventuz atmosphere (11 Viewers)

[Sadomin]

Extra! Extra!

Leaked pictures of Andy and Rab in today's paper.

 

Buy on AliExpress.com

[icemaη]

Yeah, I was at home sleeping with him.

And I thought it was Owen Wilson sleeping next to me

 

[Bjerknes]

Rab and I don't have such ridiculously defined jaws as those freaks.

And none of our names are Senor Guti.

 

[Sadomin]

Rab and I don't have such ridiculously defined jaws as those freaks.

And none of our names are Senor Guti.

If it's in the papers, it's fact.

 

[Oggy]

Tuttosport: It seems that Goggo become highly unsettled at the lack of first team opportunities, he compared himself to Ranieri-Giovinco situation and said that only love for his president Bozi is keeping him at the club, but also said that he doesn't want to become another Recoba.

 

[Seven]

The players talk too much.

 

[Fred]

The players talk too much.

You got that right

 

[Byrone]

Stomachi swoop for Bianconero


Stomachi Grassi FC's outspoken director Fred has confirmed that his club have signed mysterious Englishman Bianconero....

The attacking midfielder, who is widely known for his shakespeare like language was signed to add more depth ahead of the big game against Real Italiens FC.

"We are happy to sign this promising player, we have been watching him for a while now, and we thought it was time to sign him to add some much needed depth to the squad" Fred told Juventuz Times.

Bianconero has reiterated his excitement to play for such a prestigious team. Bianconero said "Alas, Thou shall take on this endeavor with immortal valiance, for Real Italien FC is but a foe "

When asked by a journalist what he feels about god, Bianconero endeared himself to Seven by saying " As flies to wanton boys, are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport".

Several experts have expressed their fears over whether Bianconero's teammates would experience trouble understanding their teammate. But Fred has moved to quash those fears "Even if there were verbal communication problems, football is a language everybody speaks"

Another problem Stomachi Grassi could face with this signing is the possible conflict between Bianconeri and long time rival, American playmaker Andrew Beck. Several reports revealed that Beck was still upset over being called a "mock fan" by the eccentric Englishman.

Fred has moved swiftly to quash those rumors too, even going far as threatening the press if they don't stop spreading rumors about his team.

"We are sick and tired of this" screamed Fred. "You have spread so many rumors about our team, we can't even keep track".

"Hoori is not engaged in a secret relationship with Alen, Ze Tahir is not linked to Al Qaeda, there is no sexual relationship between Rab and Iceman and Bisco is our keeper, he is not a double agent"

"It is completely false that Jack called Beck a Barcelona fan and there is nothing between Bianconero and Beck "

"If you do not stop spreading rumors, we will boycott the press"


- Juventuz Times

Fred you could do some freelance work for goal.com or even write some scripts for footballers wives with this shite.

 

[Albertmare]

can't wait for this game .

 

[Geof]

Goalkeeping troubles for gli Stomachi?

As the new season is about to start, Stomachi Grassi coach Jack may want to reconsider his first choice as to whom will defend the Grassi's goal, as Abu slams Bisco.

Star goalkeeper Bisco seemed assured to get the starting spot, but experienced substitute goalkeepr Abu Ghadanzieri clearly thinks otherwise: "Bisco is often late at trainings and his fat stomach is becoming thinner by the day. I believe the coach should reconsider the order of preferences among the goalkeepers. What you think, please discuss."

Our sources confirm that Abu has found support in goalkeeping coach Geof, who is believed to be furious about the thin and muscular stomach of Bisco. He believes Abu enormous stomach would represent the club values better.

Coach Jack was unavailable to comment but it is likely that he will have to make a choice soon. If he persists in starting Bisco, Abu might start looking elsewhere and the Real Italians might be interested in his services.

Fitness coach Vinman has put Bisco on a beer and sausage diet in order to get Bisco back on track before the season.

- TuttiGrassi

 

[king Ale]

 

[Alen]

The Stomaci Grassi mysterious striker Bianconero shat his pants.

Reason: Fear of 3.5 x 2

 

[king Ale]

Source?

 

[Alen]

Source?

http://www.shakespeare.com/home.html

 

[Salvo]

tuttoqueer

real italiens midfeilder albert has been found in the changerooms of the stomachi grassi youth team.

the midfeilder deny's allegations he is a pedophile and or a sexual predator claiming he was "scouting for fresh young boys"

 

[Firestarter]

:rofl2:

He should be loaned to BSC Young Boys in Switzerland.

 

[Salvo]

:rofl2:

He should be loaned to BSC Young Boys in Switzerland.

 

[Bozi]

FUCKS SAKE 52 PAGES ALREADY!!!

massages are only for players? may i massage for President,too?..***..

presidential masseur is your new title,along with your massive pay rise

sorry guys ut what point is power if you cannot abuse it?

You do that every night anyway.
You ignored the players needs so i had to steal team1 masseuse. Now we have to pay for both you and Hoori.

Hoori's magical healing hands have done wonders on Burkes groin strain, it was well worth the lengthy negotiations

I'm like John O'Shea, but with talent.

Imagine how it'll be

Seven, surrounded by Turk, Ze Tahir, salman and the rest of the Muslims

Andy, Burke, Enron getting drunk making jokes 3 times per second.

Vinman lifting weight right in the middle of the pitch and screaming on each one finding a decent nicknames.

Marty and Martin discussing Juventuz and computer stuff

Bes having his one liner when necessary

Gino Genesio calling his father and threatening to kill him

hnakyo to pass next to the field and get beaten by everyone

Bianconero to be reading Shakespeare books

Elvin, Dusan, Alber discussing latest news concerning porn. Elvin cumming on himself.

Alen to stay down on his knees for Hoori asking her to marry him. Few days later Iranian secret service looking for him.

etc... it'll be interesting.

Bozi and jack drinking a malt post game and discussing where it all went wrong...

So how are you gonna massage the men? You put on some gloves or what?

she only massages THIS man!!

Gazetta:

Stomachi Grassi official statement

"We would like to welcome Sheikh Yerbouti to our club, we are optimistic that he will be a big player for us "

Real Italiens Chief Bozi has released a press statement in the rum up to the game mocking the opposition team for picking up "rejects"
Bozi was quoted as saying "they have no chance, Martin and Swag had no chance once we got Mark on board, he has helped mould a team of impeccable performers and has also managed to get rid of the dead wood within the squad, we have enjoyed working together and believe we go into this game as firm favourites.
personally,i feel that Stomachi Grassi have shown their lack of a top GM in picking up Sheik yerbouti,he was only given a place in our squad as a thank you for the investment put into teh team by his family. he has less skill that Ghadaffi's son"

Tuttosport: It seems that Goggo become highly unsettled at the lack of first team opportunities, he compared himself to Ranieri-Giovinco situation and said that only love for his president Bozi is keeping him at the club, but also said that he doesn't want to become another Recoba.

Goggo..............>I am your FATHER

Actually I've always done pretty well in fights. But that's mainly because I'm not fair. I wouldn't say I'm courageous, just plain mean.

And to be honest, when it used to come to that in school or I don't know when, I had people fight for me, which is a lot easier.

handy when you have so many brothers

 

[Mark]

when are we going LIVE?

 

[Bozi]

Juventuz.tv exclusive-

Bozi seen negotiating with Paolo Maldini,hoping to entice him out of retirement for one game