Dear
[email protected] -
You are all
cafoni. Do you know what a cafone is? No? Well walk over to your bathroom, right next to the sink. Look in the mirror.
THAT is a cafone.
A cafone is someone who makes a Web site to collect money from their fans and somehow forgets to add the part that allows them to collect any money or memberships. And a cafone is someone who is too retarded to return e-mail when someone is willingly ready to hand you a $50 bill, no questions asked. Even when those e-mails are written in your own Italian.
A cafone is someone who is responsible for hosting a Web site for millions of worldwide fans -- fans who regularly make the international pilgrimage to Torino to come to your games, who pay your satellite TV fees the world over even when they are in Serie B, who buy your jerseys every year -- and you cannot be bothered to post the scores of matches within 24 hours. And if it's an English-speaking audience, they will never even know whether you promoted to Serie A or not.
Where I come from, we have our own name for
cafoni. They are called
DMV employees -- or people who work at the Department of Motor Vehicles. They make us wait in lines, they forget they are on the job, and they generally shuffle people and paper around in the hope that it is 5pm and you can go home -- because you are otherwise unemployable.
I suggest you give up the day job and report to your local
Motorizzazione Civile immediately for duty.
Thank you --
An American Juventino
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