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"According to the latest polls taken right after the convention, President Bush is way up, way up in the polls. In fact, they said if the election was held today, the Supreme Court would re-elect him 7 to 2, which is better than last time." --Jay Leno
"The Republican National Convention is about to start up. President Bush sounds like he's ready. Big interview with him in USA Today. President Bush says, 'I am not going to come in second.' Again." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Difficult as it may seem, Republicans urged voters to not let McGreevey's gayness over shadow his corruption." -Craig Kilborn
"San Francisco has annulled its 4,000 gay marriages. One of the gay men said it was a terrible disappointment to have your marriage annulled so quickly, but on the bright side, I feel just like Britney Spears." --Bill Maher
"Is it me or is Bush going everywhere Kerry goes? So far in the past week, President Bush has followed John Kerry to Davenport, Iowa; New Mexico; Las Vegas; Los Angeles; and he follows him to Portland, Oregon. The only place he never followed John Kerry was Vietnam." --Jay Leno
"President Bush appeared with Arnold Schwarzenegger at a huge campaign event. Only in California can a governor who speaks German and a president who can barely speak English try to make themselves clear to an audience that's primarily Spanish. What a country we live in!" --Jay Leno
"President Bush is trying to put a positive spin on the latest bad economic numbers. Today he declared victory in the 'War on Jobs.'" --Craig Kilborn
"Bush is back in DC, that's where he goes when he wants to get away from the ranch for a few weeks." —Jay Leno