Football jokes (1 Viewer)


Senior Member
Jul 14, 2002
++ [ originally posted by gray ] ++
Sure guys, there's plenty... some of them may not make sense to some people, depending on geography.

There was recently a burglary at the Olimpico, and the entire contents of Lazio's trophy room were stolen. Police are looking for a suspect carrying a blue & white carpet.

Massimo Moratti was recently caught speeding on the way to training. When questioned, he said "I'd do anything for three points".

What happens to footballers when they become old and their eyesight deteriorates? They become referees :D

oh yeah, be careful guys, there's some new computer viruses going around...

Like the Roy Keane virus, that keeps suspending your computer.

The Alex Ferguson Virus - The computer develops a continuous whining noise.The on screen clock runs a slower than all the other computers in the building.

The Ryan Giggs Virus - The computer develops a processor problem whereby it thinks it's better than it actually is. It also experiences dramatic fluctuations in performance.

The Fabien Barthez Virus - The computer looks like it's functioning normally but you can't save anything.

The Manchester United Shirt Virus - This one is especially hard to detect as it changes format every three months.

The David Beckham Virus - Mainly affects newer computers, the computer looks great, all the lights are on but nothing inside works.

If you see a Lazio fan on a bike why should you never swerve to hit him? It might be your bike

Marcello Lippi after a match: "Why did you bring two suit cases to the Delle Alpi ?. Lippi " So that I could pack my defence in the second half".

Marcello Lippi: "We paid a very heavy fee for Marcelo Zalayeta. I call him our wonder player.
Luciano Moggi: Why's that?
"Well, every time I see him play I wonder why I bothered signing him"

Torino Manager at half time: "Eighteen teams in the Serie A and you lot are currently bottom"
Torino Player: "Well it could have been worse.
Manager:Oh really, tell me how?
Player: "Well for a start there could have been more teams in the League"

At FC Barcelona, Manager of the Month isn't an award. It's a job description

Buy on


Senior Member
Jul 17, 2002
i've heard this one in these forums before, but i love it so much that i'll post it here too...

what's the difference between a dead dog in the middle of the road and a dead ManU fan in the middle of the road...
There are tire-screetch marks before the dead dog :D


Senior Member
Apr 22, 2003
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread Starter #24
    ++ [ originally posted by -Fantasista- ] ++
    Great thread, gray :thumb:
    Thanx :D
    I know jokes are a bit hard to come by, but they're rewarding once you get your hands on them :thumb:

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