Football jokes (1 Viewer)

gray

Senior Member
Moderator
Apr 22, 2003
30,096
#1
everyone post their football jokes here!

Here's a start:

Why is Ronaldinho such a good lover?
Because he can lob Seaman from 30 yards :eek:
 
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OP
gray

gray

Senior Member
Moderator
Apr 22, 2003
30,096
#4
Sure guys, there's plenty... some of them may not make sense to some people, depending on geography.

There was recently a burglary at the Olimpico, and the entire contents of Lazio's trophy room were stolen. Police are looking for a suspect carrying a blue & white carpet.

Massimo Moratti was recently caught speeding on the way to training. When questioned, he said "I'd do anything for three points".

What happens to footballers when they become old and their eyesight deteriorates? They become referees :D

oh yeah, be careful guys, there's some new computer viruses going around...

Like the Roy Keane virus, that keeps suspending your computer.

The Alex Ferguson Virus - The computer develops a continuous whining noise.The on screen clock runs a slower than all the other computers in the building.

The Ryan Giggs Virus - The computer develops a processor problem whereby it thinks it's better than it actually is. It also experiences dramatic fluctuations in performance.

The Fabien Barthez Virus - The computer looks like it's functioning normally but you can't save anything.

The Manchester United Shirt Virus - This one is especially hard to detect as it changes format every three months.

The David Beckham Virus - Mainly affects newer computers, the computer looks great, all the lights are on but nothing inside works.

If you see a Lazio fan on a bike why should you never swerve to hit him? It might be your bike

Marcello Lippi after a match: "Why did you bring two suit cases to the Delle Alpi ?. Lippi " So that I could pack my defence in the second half".

Marcello Lippi: "We paid a very heavy fee for Marcelo Zalayeta. I call him our wonder player.
Luciano Moggi: Why's that?
"Well, every time I see him play I wonder why I bothered signing him"

Torino Manager at half time: "Eighteen teams in the Serie A and you lot are currently bottom"
Torino Player: "Well it could have been worse.
Manager:Oh really, tell me how?
Player: "Well for a start there could have been more teams in the League"

At FC Barcelona, Manager of the Month isn't an award. It's a job description
 
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gray

gray

Senior Member
Moderator
Apr 22, 2003
30,096
#8
I've just heard of them from other people, some of them are original :D

Jokes are more fun when you make them up and post your own :cool:, so get thinking guys!
 

Zizou

Senior Member
Apr 21, 2003
3,967
#10
The best one I ever heard is:

Who would win a race between father christmas, an old lady and a happy Inter fan?
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The old lady of course! there is no such thing as Father Christmas nor a happy Inter fan ! :D
 

Loppan

Senior Member
Jul 13, 2002
2,528
#13
David Beckham is celebrating; "43 days, 43 days!" he shouts happilly. Posh asks him why hes celebrating.
He answers "Well Honey, I've done this jigsaw in only 43 days."

"And that's good?" asks Posh.
"You bet Hon" says David."It says 3 to 6 years on the box."
 
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gray

gray

Senior Member
Moderator
Apr 22, 2003
30,096
#17
I was just thinking of some:

The Nicolas Anelka virus: Your computer's working perfectly fine, but suddenly the files start moving everywhere.

Why does Ronaldinho hate exams so much?
Because he never passes!
 

K10

Senior Member
Jul 12, 2002
2,698
#18
++ [ originally posted by gray ] ++
Sure guys, there's plenty... some of them may not make sense to some people, depending on geography.

There was recently a burglary at the Olimpico, and the entire contents of Lazio's trophy room were stolen. Police are looking for a suspect carrying a blue & white carpet.

I guess they didn't see the 2 scudettos, cup winnners cup, coppa italia, european super cup, italian super cup and they. Blind burgulars ;)
 

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