[ENG] Premiership 2011/2012 (38 Viewers)

Red · May 9, 2012

Gerrard is more talented, Lampard is more effective.

ItzLeif · May 9, 2012

Frank Lampard is the highest scoring midfielder in the history of professional football worldwide, and has the 2nd most assists in English Football history. That is all.

Enron · May 9, 2012

He's also a slopped pants fat boy.

Red · May 9, 2012

And a Tory bastard.

Ahmed · May 10, 2012

Gerrard, always.

last truly WC English player.

Juventino[RUS] · May 10, 2012

Ahmed said:

Rooney no?

Ahmed · May 10, 2012

fuck Rooney.

Enron · May 10, 2012

Once a blue, always a blue.

Trequartista · May 11, 2012

Those are great

acmilan · May 11, 2012

gray · May 11, 2012

http://www.football365.com/mailbox/7744307/The-Guide-To-Criticising-Roy-s-Squad-Selection

Captain: if someone who has been captain before, "predictable". If not, "wrong".

Average age of squad over 26: too old, over-reliance on the failed so-called "golden generation".

Average age of squad under 26: inexperienced/ruining our chances for the Olympics (I forget whether we care about this or not).

Goalkeepers:
Joe Hart: obvious choice and deserves no credit.
Rob Green: plays for a championship club. Only selected due to failure to persuade anyone else out of retirement, ergo poor man-management.
Ben Foster: nepotism.

Right back:
Failure to take all of Micah Richards, Glen Johnson, Kyle Walker, Phil Jones and Chris Smalling constitutes a decision, and therefore automatically a risky/wrong one.

Left back:
Ashley Cole: obvious, deserves no credit.
If a back-up is selected: unnecessary, waste of a squad place (cf. Stephen Warnock). If not: short-sighted.

Centre back:
Failure to persuade Rio and Terry to play together is poor man-management. Success is "too risky".

Central Midfield:
Gerrard: make reference to Hodgson's time at Liverpool and cast doubt on ability to get a performance out of him.
Lampard: too similar to Gerrard. If not picked, make unflattering AVB comparisons.
Scott Parker: would certainly perform better if 'Arry was manager
Carrick/Barry: boring.
Scholes: if picked, desperate. If not picked, a missed opportunity
Anyone else: an unknown quantity.

Wings:
Joe Cole: if not picked, point out that he has been playing brilliantly in France. If picked, point out that he has been rubbish in France. No-one will bother to check either way.
Ashley Young: if picked, diver that will not fool continental referees, therefore a waste of space. If not picked, point to past goalscoring form and ability to win penalties.
Adam Johnson: if picked, has hardly played for Man City this season. If not picked, has hardly played for Man City this season and would have bought much-needed freshness to the squad.
Walcott: if picked, has only ever performed that one time against Croatia. If not picked, performed that one time against Croatia.
Stewart Downing: if picked, 0 goals 0 assists. If not picked, bemoan lack of natural left-footers in the squad.
Anyone who plays for Swansea: if picked, they play for Swansea, a small club. If not, harshly overlooked.

Strikers:
Rooney: if picked, waste of a squad place. We'll be out after 2 games anyway. If not picked, have "ROO-DICULOUS!!!" headlines on standby.
Andy Carroll: if picked, has been rubbish all season. If not, has been brilliant for the last two games.
Defoe: if picked, has not played all season. If not, gifted finisher, adds freshness to the squad, 'Arry would have picked him.
Crouch: if picked, exposes England's dearth of strikers. If not, think of the wonder-goal.
Sturridge/Welbeck: if picked, inexperienced. If not, robbing the future of English football of valuable tournament experience.

For tabloid journalists, this is a handy cut-out-and keep style guide. For anyone else, combine this with a copy of next Wednesday's Sun to form a potentially lethal drinking game.