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[Anders]

While Tom finish writing his book, let's write our own... so that we'll have something to read until then.

I'll start writing a story, and then I'll stop at some point... and you all know how it goes... someone continues it... and so on and so forth...

This is a story of a very lonely man. He's from the Democratic Republic of Congo. He lives alone in a large house in a little village sorrounded be endless fields of bubblegum plants.
His name is Ivegotta Gopeepee, and he is 36 years old. He's got no family... only a cat and 17 dogs.
He works in the bubblegum field, slaving for the local Stimorol factory. He receives minimum wage and all the gum he can chew.
One day he went to market, planning to buy some weed. Then 3 cats walked by, followed by 9 very hot chicks. Ivegotta Gopeepee gave the cats some...uhmmm cat food. The chicks were impressed by his cat-feeding-skills and said to him...

Now continue the story!

 

Buy on AliExpress.com

[Hydde]

..." Congratulations!!! We have here our lucky winner!!!!"

Ivegotta was so impressed about that crazy girls.......they continued "from now on mr. your life will change completely, you have won a house in Turin, with all the money you can waste, and you can choose one of us to travel with you to this new style of life".

Ivegotta thought to himself: (Oh shit!!! im a fan of juve!!!, how lucky!!!)

Ivegotta was so happy, and he chosen one of the girls right away. Her name was Pamela, a very tall girl, with black hair and nice body.

In that moment Ivegotta was thinking only in the hot chik Pamela, but his life was just ready to have a big change!...

 

[K10]

on his way to Turin the plane crashed and he died.

 

[Hydde]

++ [ originally posted by K10 ] ++
on his way to Turin the plane crashed and he died.

:groan:

C´mon what da **** is that!!

 

[K10]

alright......seriouly now........

There was a catch to his prize however. He had to deliver packages in Turin to top secret clients. He signed a contract and was obliged to honour it. What were in these packages were unkown and even Ivegotta did not know what was in them.

However, with all the money in the world and a lovely house in Turin he delivered these packages on a daily basis.

Life was getting really good.........then one day........

 

[Hydde]

A extrange guy kncked on his door. Pamela was very impressed about the one that was on the door. Then Ivegotta arrived at the scene.

"Hello Mr, i have been seeing you carefully all this days. I know that you are some kind of messenger because you always are carrying some packages on your back, and im here to ask some questions to you."

Ivegotta was speechless in front of the misterious man, because Ivegotta had already recognized him. The name of the man was ........DAVIDE BAIOCCO.

"Im an agent from Juventus , Agent Baiocco .They send me here to investigate your case, Mr Gopeepee. We already know that you are an spy from Madrid and now ull have to tell me somethings. Did you know what was inside each package??"

- Ivegotta surprised, enlighted a weed cigar and said
"No i really dont know Mr Baiocco. Im here because i won a wonderful price in madrid, ask to my ***** , Pamela , if you wa..."

" Bullshit!!!!!!!, tell me the truth" -said baiocco loudly- "Ill make things easier for you. Each package that you delivered was with an ADIDAS FINALE ball inside, and you carefully delivered each package to every juventus player´s house. We know that the big guys of Real Madrid and AC Milan are planning something to screw up our plans to conquer the next Champions League".

Ivegotta was trying to figure out what the hell was hapening, and Baiocco was getting freaker and freaker every minute....

Very far from there....
At the same time, in Del Piero´s House.........

 

[my_hitzJUVE]

In Del Piero house :

Sonia screaming, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...help me!!!! ....... ahhhhhhhhh.....help me Alex!!!....help me...i saw somebody behind the curtain......ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!....alex!!!!!!!....HELP ME!!!!

alex coming...."What's wrong honey....whats wrong with u?"

"I saw a big and fatty guy come into our house just now.....he is hiding behind the curtain.... i'm scared...i'm scared alex.....

"Don't worry...let me check".....don't worry honey...

When Alex trying to open the curtain....."oh Shit.....what the hell are u doing here.......RONALDO????

Alex speechless....

"Sorry...sorry.....i'm really really sorry...actually i don't want to disturb u ...and i don't mean it.......but i need to send this massage.....give me a chance...don't call the police.....this is very important...very important massage...

"mmmm..ok...ok....So, whats the massage?" alex asking.

"Do you know anything the about r. madrid plan to screw up juve CL campaign next season???

"No....Why...Why...What happen...?? Alex confused

"Actually i don't have a have a time to talk longer...but it relate to this......

"What is this....?? Alex asking

" Give give this box to moggi...just give it to him.....i know Juventus already doing an investigations about this matter...just give it to him....mmmm......OK...i got to go now....chow!!!!

the next day, at Sisport Training Centre.....

 

[Dj Juve]

DP gives the box to Lippi..inside is Scatman cds and DVDs of the Happy Tree Friends

they all watch the cartoons and hear the songs

they all get hippytonized

it seems that the box was sent by the Real Madrid's Fictional Scientific Lab

only DP and Biaocco(since he was at Ivegotta's house at that time) and Treze was saved fro beeing hippytonized...the rest of the squad were acting like a bunch of zombified..um..hippies

so DP and treze try to feed them a 'banana with skin +prune + orange cordial + watermelon' drink, trying to wake them up. but all fails..so they both slap transfer requests...

but moggi also watch the tapes and listened to the cds..and he's zombified too, so he only accept treze's

so DP goes to see Don Corleone..
"don, i have this thing i want to ask you..there's this bigshot transfer guru, Luciano, in turin. I want to move away from Turin for now and change clubs to Siena or Cosenza. But...this guy says no. What should i do godfather(begins to sob)"
"you're gonna stop being a baby for once and act like a man(slaps dp a few times)"

the next day, Tom Hagann goes to see this big shot Luciano..he makes an offer Moggi can resist. but moggi does..so hagan cuts moggi's hand and sends it back to the godfather..but in the package he got the address wrong and seends it to mongolia.

at mongolia, a sheep pengiun farmer gets the letter and quickly reports it to the king.

at the palace...the king thinks this is a sign of war from Yemen(the king cant read italian or english) So he goes to war with the russian state of Providenya, where the estranged seinfield is hiding after being charged with Comedy Act 19 section 38b for violating the law of shaving his chest hair..

so when mongolia strikes Providenya and Dp wants his transfer request....

 

[majj]

the war is long and the casualties are great! oh the blood and the shame.

meanwhile dp is having serious thoughts about his future with football. he looks at the box filled with the cds and zombie shit.

'shall i end it all' he thought 'and forget the life of football and go live on an ant farm?'

its been a year of hard choices and decisions for dp.

he slowley reaches for the box................

 

[my_hitzJUVE]

when he reaches the box.......he think again...who is responsible for this disaster box?.......yeah....RONALDO.... THE BETRAYER...he give this box to me last year......i still remember....i tought he trying to be nice but he is hipokrit.....he create the war, change my teammates to zombie and we're failed to retain the Scudetto.....

yeah......i don't think i need to end my football life......its crap....i'll show them, i'm still the best player in the world....i'll bring juve back to the right lane...win CL, win Scudetto and win Coppa Italia....

at the same day....in Capello house...

 

[Dj Juve]

Capello putting the finishing touches on his next version of Totti, v 3.10 beta.

After a few days, he unleashes the next version of Totti, which is more arrogant, a better and skillful diver and actor and is tested to get less red cards in WC Second-round matches.

so, during the Christmas period of the season, Juve and roma face-off in a battle to see who gets the coveted 13th spot. but before kickoff, DP once again goes to see the Don, Godfather

Before DP could say anything to the Don, the don says "I'd ask you to sit down, but you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the vase."

DP: "what vase?"

He turns to look around and his elbow knocks a VASE from the table. It BREAKS against the linoleum floor.

the Godfather: "I said don't worry about it. I'll get one of my men fix it."

DP:"how did you....what, suddenly you're the oracle?

the Godfather: "matter, it does not. But Beware of Toby, you must"

DP: "Toby...who the **** is Toby? Toby...Toby...think...think...think..."

The Godfather: you will know when the time comes

so dp leaves without even asking the question he wanted to ask in the first place

on his where out he meets a familiar face, Mr.Blonde

"ey, i know you" shouted DP. "you're the cheerleader for a women's 3rd division volleyball team arent you! I almost slept with you...damn i waz drunk..."

"ya, that was 1 kind f**kin crazy night" replied Mr. Blonde.

"hey. anyway, do u know any1 named Toby? by any chance maybe?"

"You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job."

"So's working at McDonald's, but you don't feel the need to tip them. They're servin ya food, you should tip em. But no, society says tip these guys over here, but not those guys over there.That's bullshit!" says DP "so you dont know any Toby then eh?"

"no." said Mr. Blonde as he quickly vanished....

DP saw the time..the match starts in an hour time, shit i have to..

 

[gray]

...Take a crap! I don't think I have enough time? I know what I'll do! I'll...

 

[Tom]

++ [ originally posted by Karlberg ] ++
While Tom finish writing his book, let's write our own... so that we'll have something to read until then.

this is gonna be one long story then

 

[Dj Juve]

go and see Mr. Toby Anderson...

he meets him in a small weird room

"As you can see, I've had my eye on you for some time now, Mr. Anderson." Dp starts..."It seems that you have been living two lives. In one life, you are Thomas Toby A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, you pay your taxes and you help your land lady carry out her garbage...The other life is lived in computers where you go by the hacker alias Neo, and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for, including the unauthorized use of the D.M.V. system for the removal of automobile boots."

Toby: "And so?"

DP: "I'm going to be as forthcoming as I can be, Mr. Anderson. You are here because I need your help....we are hunting down the a certain Mr. Jerry Seinfield a.k.a Morpheous..I know that you have been contacted by a certain individual. A man who calls himself Morpheus. A certain Jerry Seinfield. Whatever you think you know about this man is irrelevant to the fact that he is wanted for acts of terrorism in more countries than any other man in the world. He is considered by many authorities to be the most dangerous man alive."

Toby: what? thats mad!

DP: are you going to help us Mr. Anderson?

Toby: No. You are a civilian. In China, I am Michael Jackson, and you are Toto.


the conversation ends with a stunning fight..

 

[Anders]

...they fight and fight and fight, and when everyone thought they were done fighting... they were! They sad down and had some orange juice and some cookies.

Then Ivegotta Gopeepee walked in.
Ivegotta "Don't forget to chew some gum. It's very good for people with broken noses."
DP looked at Mr. Gopeepee and said.
DP "What! I thought you were dead! Man... u DRC people are strange. Want a cookie?"
Ivegotta "No"
DP "Oh come on... they're really good!"
Ivegotta "No"
DP "Why not?"
Ivegotta "I got to go pee pee! Where's the toilet?"
DP "Would look at that! Mr. Ivegotta Gopeepee, has to go pee pee!"
That Toby dude "Yeah me too! Let me see your *****!"
DP "Damn! You guys are weird! I'm leaving!"

DP walked out the door, where he met Mr. Gopeepee's chick... that Pamela girl.
He said...

 

[Dj Juve]

damn, ur ugly..thanx god for Daisy..um...Sonia, yep that's the girl

after turning away from Pamala, he notices he's in a weird place, a downright ugly carpark...he goes back to the door and opens it, and it leads to another place, mountains!

puzzled, he he walks out of the carpark and suddenly sees the horror of his life, romanista cows...thousands of em clones! "Good Morning Mr. Del Piero"

smartly, dp says, "oh, del piero, he's back there. yep, take the door on the right(which leads to god knows where)"

after the thousands of cows went into the carpark, DP quickly vanished away to...

 

[Hydde]

.....Delle Alpi Stadium......with a very"High" Ivegotta

He mets Agent Baiocco outside. He was waiting for DP

Baicco: "Oh Lord delpiero i have been waiting for you, we are in a terrible hurry"

DP:" I have discovered something very weird"

Baiocco "Let me expalin everything Sir... A month ago, this bastard i have near me delivered some packages carrying weed and DVD´s. This packages imnotized our whole team, including the head members. That was a trap prepared by real madrid.
In the Gaslini head quarters, we discivered that the minds of our players are in a computerized sophisticated program called "Uefa´s Fantasy league". You saw the movie matrix?? well it is somethinglike that!!.

DP: "Shit,, and what we are gonnna do now?? how we can rescue our friends???"

Baiocco: Iknow a way to introduce ourselves in the "Fantasy league". We must connect ourselves to master Lippi´s PC and use some of this weed cigarretes that mr gopeepee have. They have a complicated device, that will send our mind to the "fantasy league mainframe" in the Real madrid headquarters.

There, we must compete in the final tournament , and rescue our friends. I have the codes to destroy the "fantasy league" and save our friends, but to do that, we need a key, a key that is in hands of someone that betrayed us long time ago...."

DP: "Zidane...... it can be...."

Baiocco: "yeah, He made a copy of the key that control our computers atdelle alpi, and with that and the tecnology of evil real madrid, they hacked our players....."

DP:"We dont have time to lose,,,we must enter the "fantasy league"..kick real madrid´s ass there, got Zidane key, and save our frinds. But how we are gonna play??? we dont have a complete team!!"

Baicco: "dont worry, i made some agreements with the Barcelona Crew.....they will inscript us in the Barcelona team, with them,,we will make it, but this will be a difficult task".

DP: "OK prepare the weed cigars,,,we are going to enter to the "fantasy league"-

Baiocco: And what should we do with this stupid??? (Ivegotta)
DP: Bring him,, maybe we will need him, now........... gimme that cigar.


-------The 3 Guys entered into the "Fantasy league" , they must be at camp nou the quickliest as possible--------------

 

[Anders]

On their flight some cute-ass flight attendents were serving them drinks and some pizza. Ivegotta would rather have some gum, so they stopped by his home in DRC...

While Ivegotta picked some gum in the field DP suddenly remembered something. Baiocco is a crappy footballer...
So he gave Baiocco a hardcore beating and dumped him in the Sahara desert on the way to Spain...

Ivegotta was still high and still smoking. DP told him he had to play, and then Ivegotta said...

 

[Hydde]

....
Ivegotta: "what d fuk are you tLKINg about??? im not a footballer,, im a cool man."

DPont worry dude evrything will be ok, that baiocco was not so good after all, and after tried your cigarretes, definitely you have some talent. So, prepare because you will be playing dude. If we rescue our guys, ll promise that you will have a good chik !!.

Ivegotta: OK ok,,,hey.....
DP: What?
Ivegottao you wanna get High?
DP: Of course,, bring that cigar.

----After some hours navigating in the cyberspace, they arrived at Camp nou,,,to meet the barcelona crew, and to make the preparations against the Real madrid cyber-squad.------.

DP and Ivegotta were waiting in the dinning room of camp nou, and after some minutes,,the big guy appeared.

Guy: Wassup people, hey delpiero im honoured to have you here...hey and who is this guy??.

DP: Wassup MR Antic? everything ok?. well this guy is Ivegotta Gopipi, he is a friend of mine,,a promosing youngster that smoke a lot of bullshit!!!, wanna try some==?

Antic: Off course dude!!...............ahhhhhhhhh, this is a good one.

DP: OK,,we are here to achieve the same purpose, .....send to the hell that real madrid guys. I need a team in order to do that at the fantasy lñeague game.

Antic: Dont worry, i know all the story, the boys are so enthusiatmik because of this, especially luis enrike......he wants to teach some bad tricks to real madrid. So, we are ready to depart to the "cyber-santiago bermabeu".

DP:OK, but can i ask something???.......i want Ivegotta to play!!, im sure that this guy have a secret talent!!!.

Antic: OK no problem,,,,, but gimme another cigar,,,,,,,,oh yessssssss.

Ivegotta:........do you wanna get high???

Antic...im already high dude!.

------The spend all the night in a big party at the nou camp...with a lot of girlies ,, alcohol,,,and all the weed a human can smoke. At the other day, they were all ready to face real madrid in the final cyber game in the "fantasy league". They finally arrived to the santiago bernabeu, and delpiero was already aware of the presence of old firends--------

Antic: OK DP...luis enrike told me that you was the one to select the first team,, including Ivegotta of course. So..... which of the boys you ill use??.

Del Piero: OK...the first team will be Myself,, Ivegotta, and the other 9 guys are.......

 

[Anders]

DP: ...wait! I can't do this man! Antic... you gotta do this, it's your team!
Antic: I don't wanna... only if you gimme some more weed.
Ivegotta: You wanna get high?
Antic: Is that all you can say??? Gimme some god damn weed!!!
Ivegotta: Chill dude! I asked you if you wanted to get high.
Antic: I want to get high!!
Ivegotta: You wanna get high?
DP: Who da **** is writing this crap?
Antic: Gimme some mother****ing weed!
Ivegotta: You wanna get high?

3 hours later...
Ivegotta: You wanna get high?
Antic: Just gimme the joint already!
Ivegotta: ok... have a good one.

Antic smoked it all and got real high...
Ivegotta: You high yet?
He was really by now, and now he had to pick the players... he was totally screwed up and picked this formation...

Reiziger - Ivegotta - Del Piero - Bonana

---------------De Boer

------Enrique - Gabri - Puyol

----------Kluivert - Saviola

-------------------Xavi

DP: So let me get this right... We're playing a 2-3-1-4 formation???
Antic: yeah... got a problem with that?
Ivegotta: Well... not me... I'm to high to worry about that sort of crap.
DP: I'm not worried, cuz I'm the best footballer in the world. Let's play!

The match starts...