really? the pics in here are all gr8 (well... actually with one exception...)
my favourite one is #2.....
my favourite one is #2.....
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Computer humor (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Martin
- Start date
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For many years molecular biologists have been mystified by the fact that very
little of an organism's DNA seems to serve any useful function.
I have solved the mystery.
The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that the
rest of it is comments.
Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin as
follows:
===
...and so on.
little of an organism's DNA seems to serve any useful function.
I have solved the mystery.
The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that the
rest of it is comments.
Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin as
follows:
===
Code:
/* HUMAN_DNA.H
*
* Human Genome
* Version 2.1
*
* (C) God
*/
/* Revision history:
*
* 0000-00-01 00:00 1.0 Adam.
* 0000-00-02 10:00 1.1 Eve.
* 0000-00-03 02:11 1.2 Added p*enis code to male version. A bit messy --
* will require a rewrite later on to make it neater.
* 0017-03-12 03:14 1.3 Added extra sex drive to male.h; took code from
* elephant-dna.c
* 0145-10-03 16:33 1.4 Removed tail.
* 1115-00-31 17:20 1.5 Shortened forearms, expanded brain case.
* 2091-08-20 13:56 1.6 Opposable thumbs added to hand() routine.
* 2501-04-09 14:04 1.7 Minor cosmetic improvements -- skin colour made
* darker to match my own image.
* 2909-07-12 02:21 1.8 Dentition inadequate; added extra 'wisdom' teeth.
* Must remember to make mouth bigger to compensate.
* 4501-12-31 14:18 1.9 Increase average height.
* 5533-02-12 17:09 2.0 Added gay option, triggered by high population
* density, to try and slow the overpopulation problem.
* 6004-11-04 16:11 2.1 Made forefinger narrower to fit hole in centre of
* CD.
*/
/* Standard definitions
*/
#define SEX male
#define HEIGHT 1.84
#define MASS 68
#define RACE caucasian
/* Include inherited traits from parent DNA files.
*
* Files must be pre-processed with MENDEL program to provide proper
* inheritance features.
*/
#include "mother.h"
#include "father.h"
#infndef FATHER
#warn("Father unknown -- guessing\n")
#include "bastard.h"
#endif
/* Set up sex-specific functions and variables
*/
#include <sex.h>
/* Kludged code -- I'll re-design this lot and re-write it as a proper
* library sometime soon.
*/
struct genitals
{
#ifdef MALE
pe-nis *jt;
#endif
/* G_spot *g; Removed for debugging purposes */
#ifdef FEMALE
va-gina *p;
#endif
}
/* Initialization bootstrap routine -- called before DNA duplication.
* Allocates buffers and sets up protein file pointers
*/
DNA *zygote_initialize(Sperm *, Ovum *);
/* MAIN INITIALIZATION CODE
*
* Returns structures containing pre-processed phenotypes for the organism
* to display at birth.
*
* Will be improved later to make output less ugly.
*/
Characteristic *lookup_phenotype(Identifier *i);
===
++ [ originally posted by Alex ] ++
Brilliant!!!! :thumb:
But to be honest it doesn't make too much sense. Scientists are trying to decode (ie. decompile) our DNA to find out what's in there. Well obviously, comments are wiped once you compile, so the DNA is 100% executable code. Unless they used some weirdass DNA compiler..
Brilliant!!!! :thumb:
But to be honest it doesn't make too much sense. Scientists are trying to decode (ie. decompile) our DNA to find out what's in there. Well obviously, comments are wiped once you compile, so the DNA is 100% executable code. Unless they used some weirdass DNA compiler..
And mine doesn't? Have you ever used my computer?
My Windows PC works better than every single Mac I've ever used.
You can throw all the TCO's and other silly arguments at me, and I still wouldn't buy a Mac.
I've spend a total of 650 euro's on my PC. That's about half the price of a regular Mac, and yet it works better than all the Mac's I've used.
Now you're gonna tell me that the Mac's I've used are old, and that I probably haven't tried their newest piece of junk. Well, before you do, let me tell you this -I'm gonna be working in advertising as a DTP. That's a job where Mac's unfortunately is the prefered workstation. At my school we had Mac's that were less than a year old. Every single student hated those silly machines, except from one hardcore Mac-lover who spend all his time bítching about how great Apple are. We only had one teacher who like 'em, the rest brought their labtops to work.
Now I'm finished with the first part of the education, and instead of school I'm now in training at a agency. They still use Mac's, but after years of insanity they've finally bought some real computers. The director says he wants to replace every Mac in the house with a real-computer. And that's not just at my agency. More and more are realising how stupid they once were.
sorry for posting this in the funny topic, but I just had to reply to that.
OH, let's not forget the jokes...
Q: What's the difference between a MAC and a bucket of cow crap?
A: Three pounds and a Gameboy screen
Q: What's the difference between a brontosaurus and a Mac?
A: A brontosaurus runs faster.
Q: Why did the retarded guy buy a Mac?
A: What do you mean? They're all retarded!
Q: Seriously, why do these people buy Macs?
A: The boxes PCs come in are too hard for them to open.
Q: What's the difference between a turd and a Mac?
A: Most turds aren't gray.
Q: What did the Mac hater say when he saw several hundered Macintoshes buried half-way in cement?
A: Geez, I hope that guy's off getting some more cement...
Q: How do you make your Mac go faster?
A: Drop it from a higher window.
10 Uses for a Mac:
10: Paperweight
9: Dumbbell
8: Gravity Demonstrations
7: Target Practice
6: Litter Box
5: Feed the Hungry
4: Port-o-Potty for diarreah cases
3: Shot-put practice
2: Place in Pillow case and swing as deadly weapon.
1: Door-Stop
My Windows PC works better than every single Mac I've ever used.
You can throw all the TCO's and other silly arguments at me, and I still wouldn't buy a Mac.
I've spend a total of 650 euro's on my PC. That's about half the price of a regular Mac, and yet it works better than all the Mac's I've used.
Now you're gonna tell me that the Mac's I've used are old, and that I probably haven't tried their newest piece of junk. Well, before you do, let me tell you this -I'm gonna be working in advertising as a DTP. That's a job where Mac's unfortunately is the prefered workstation. At my school we had Mac's that were less than a year old. Every single student hated those silly machines, except from one hardcore Mac-lover who spend all his time bítching about how great Apple are. We only had one teacher who like 'em, the rest brought their labtops to work.
Now I'm finished with the first part of the education, and instead of school I'm now in training at a agency. They still use Mac's, but after years of insanity they've finally bought some real computers. The director says he wants to replace every Mac in the house with a real-computer. And that's not just at my agency. More and more are realising how stupid they once were.
sorry for posting this in the funny topic, but I just had to reply to that.
OH, let's not forget the jokes...
Q: What's the difference between a MAC and a bucket of cow crap?
A: Three pounds and a Gameboy screen
Q: What's the difference between a brontosaurus and a Mac?
A: A brontosaurus runs faster.
Q: Why did the retarded guy buy a Mac?
A: What do you mean? They're all retarded!
Q: Seriously, why do these people buy Macs?
A: The boxes PCs come in are too hard for them to open.
Q: What's the difference between a turd and a Mac?
A: Most turds aren't gray.
Q: What did the Mac hater say when he saw several hundered Macintoshes buried half-way in cement?
A: Geez, I hope that guy's off getting some more cement...
Q: How do you make your Mac go faster?
A: Drop it from a higher window.
10 Uses for a Mac:
10: Paperweight
9: Dumbbell
8: Gravity Demonstrations
7: Target Practice
6: Litter Box
5: Feed the Hungry
4: Port-o-Potty for diarreah cases
3: Shot-put practice
2: Place in Pillow case and swing as deadly weapon.
1: Door-Stop
i can say i am a computer "mother-geek"
i call my p/c my baby,my child!!
i have done crazy things with my p/c!!
me and it have a great relationship!!
we fight,
we make fan with eache other,
we love eache other...etc!!
a real mother-child relationship!!!
but now i will definitelly beat my kid cause o program has broke down and i DON'T KNOW WHY AND HOW!!!! :fero::fero::fero:
i call my p/c my baby,my child!!
i have done crazy things with my p/c!!
me and it have a great relationship!!
we fight,
we make fan with eache other,
we love eache other...etc!!
a real mother-child relationship!!!
but now i will definitelly beat my kid cause o program has broke down and i DON'T KNOW WHY AND HOW!!!! :fero::fero::fero:
sorry mate, but u window-users really have to be desperate about the new macs when u just know such lousy jokes...
i nearly fell a sleep while reading them...
for example this one:
Q: Seriously, why do these people buy Macs?
A: The boxes PCs come in are too hard for them to open.
to be honest, can u really laugh about that one? i would have to drink 2 bottles of wine to laugh about it....
and hey, all these pro-users know why they use the macs... now after the macs even got stronger even 3d-companies, who used to work on windows till now, begin to switch...
and if u say u spent about 650 euros on ur pc it won't be only half as good as my mac... cause it's crap...
ur post is sooo stupid, cause even i had to admitt that a 650 euro-mac is bullshit compared to the new pcs... plz don't exaggerate that much...
why don't ya use facts?
i know the answer: there are no facts u could use against macs...
if u regard the newest macs:
their speed is better
all the pro-apps are made for mac (true some work on windows too but not all of them)
macs are even cheaper in total (TCO)
ok, u can't use all these games.. but in denmark u have lego for this purpose, haven't u?[/QUOTE]
i nearly fell a sleep while reading them...
for example this one:
Q: Seriously, why do these people buy Macs?
A: The boxes PCs come in are too hard for them to open.
to be honest, can u really laugh about that one? i would have to drink 2 bottles of wine to laugh about it....
and hey, all these pro-users know why they use the macs... now after the macs even got stronger even 3d-companies, who used to work on windows till now, begin to switch...
and if u say u spent about 650 euros on ur pc it won't be only half as good as my mac... cause it's crap...
ur post is sooo stupid, cause even i had to admitt that a 650 euro-mac is bullshit compared to the new pcs... plz don't exaggerate that much...
why don't ya use facts?
i know the answer: there are no facts u could use against macs...
if u regard the newest macs:
their speed is better
all the pro-apps are made for mac (true some work on windows too but not all of them)
macs are even cheaper in total (TCO)
ok, u can't use all these games.. but in denmark u have lego for this purpose, haven't u?[/QUOTE]
Man... you just con't have a clue... do you?
If you buy all the parts and put them together yourself, you have already knocked off half the price. That's why PC is so cheap.
And you don't know shit about my computer? Why do you say it's crap and then later on tell me to only use facts? That's just stupid dude!
How freakin' lame is this. I post a joke. Then you get all childish and start bítching about my computer, which you don't even know anything about.
Man... all Mac users are alike. Tell one joke about their machines and they start crying. Grow up dude! Why are you so concerned with my computer??? You couldn't care less what I use. So relax and keep using your Mac if that makes you happy.
This is a joke thread. And if you can't even handle a joke, I suggest you don't use this thread.
:groan:
If you buy all the parts and put them together yourself, you have already knocked off half the price. That's why PC is so cheap.
And you don't know shit about my computer? Why do you say it's crap and then later on tell me to only use facts? That's just stupid dude!
How freakin' lame is this. I post a joke. Then you get all childish and start bítching about my computer, which you don't even know anything about.
Man... all Mac users are alike. Tell one joke about their machines and they start crying. Grow up dude! Why are you so concerned with my computer??? You couldn't care less what I use. So relax and keep using your Mac if that makes you happy.
This is a joke thread. And if you can't even handle a joke, I suggest you don't use this thread.
:groan: