fork would be old rusty one, upright, half-buried in ground, prongs up....
@BayernFan would be prancing about in his lederhosen, excited after Bayern thrash another Bundesiga minnow (they already knocked out of CL at this point obviously). He trip on exposed root of old oak tree and spin around while falling, and fork rip right through his cheaply made poverty lederhosen and penetrate his sphincter like 4" deep.
Not sure if he cries out in pain or if he gets turned on and masturbates.