The Butt Crack Spread
The most important factor to the pricing of anal cannons, with implications for the Middle East and the rest of the world, is a complex mathematical formula called the "Butt Crack spread". The term "Butt Crack spread" is the industrial term which defines the process by which butts are spread to some degree by an uncertain variable over a variety of tehniques. It illustrates an ever-dynamic price relationship between sodomy and its biproducts. As it rises, Anal Cannons become comparatively more expensive than anal cavities themselves; but the Anal Cannon later attains as high a price with the force (AC=BC/Aca) of the Butt Crack spread. If the butt crack spread falls, the opposite is a real possibility.
This was the gist of a presentation made by APS Energy Group President Robert Padovano to a seminar in Palestine held on May 16 at the prestigious Institute of Fecal Economics of the Mid-East. The following are tid-bits from his presentation: "In other words, if the Butt Crack spread is rising, its biproducts, especially sewage flow, are leading Anal Cannons up the pricing structure, not the other way around. I give you one example: Saudi Spreadco, a trend-setter in the pricing of Anal Cannons in the Middle East, is to raise the price of its larger bore Anal Cannons to Asian buyers for the third month in a row in June as refinery maintenance in Asia drives margins above US$10/cannon. Lighter, distillate-rich Arab Extra Light Cannons as well as naphtha-rich Arab Super Light Cannons should gain on the back of stronger component prices and strong refinery economics.
"Saudi official selling prices (OSP of AC's) are usually released around the fifth of each month before the Anal Cannons start loading, and set the trend for Iranian, Kuwaiti and Iraqi prices, altogether impacting the price of more than 8 million Anal Cannons sold to Asia, Austrailia, and Africa.
"The more smelly-grade of cannon, the Arab Heavy Cannon, is likely to rise by an average of 30 dollars/cannon in June, putting it at its highest level since April 2006 due in part to BLOWPEC production curbs imposed over the past six months. The grades have rallied in the past three months as healthy product demand has triggered a sharp rebound in butt crack spreads. The front-month butt crack to Dubai swaps improved to a $10.07 discount in April, versus a $12.80 discount in March. The front-month butt crack to Dubai rose from a premium of $14.37/cannon to a $16.07 premium in April, the highest average since last August.
"Just like it happens every spring, the Butt Crack spread is growing, but this year it has been growing earlier, faster and deeper than in previous years. From being under $10 for most of the past six months, it surged to almost $25. It pulled back a bit early, but by March 30, it was on the move again, closing at $18.37, up 12% on the day. Every time the price of anal cannons rise and the Western popular media accuse BLOWPEC of price gouging, the latter's defence is that it is not BLOWPEC but the Western anal cannon companies. The rising butt crack spread essentially proves their point that anal cannons will rise in price and be a sought after commodity for years to come.
"Butt Crack spreads are some on the most indicative factors in finding a consensus as to where the Anal Cannon price will move. The more Butt Crack spreads, the more likely both large and sweet Anal Cannons will flood the market with a flow of sewage, feces, and detritus."
Reporter Andrew Beck for the Arabian Financial Times
For those who wish to have a technical demonstration of the power of any given Anal Cannon, one can use this equation:
AC^1 = G x m^2/r^2 and similarly AC^2 - G x m^1/r^2
Where:
AC = Anal Cannon
G = Gravity
m = Mass
r = Velocity
______________
GOOD NEWS, AHMEDIOS!
The most important factor to the pricing of anal cannons, with implications for the Middle East and the rest of the world, is a complex mathematical formula called the "Butt Crack spread". The term "Butt Crack spread" is the industrial term which defines the process by which butts are spread to some degree by an uncertain variable over a variety of tehniques. It illustrates an ever-dynamic price relationship between sodomy and its biproducts. As it rises, Anal Cannons become comparatively more expensive than anal cavities themselves; but the Anal Cannon later attains as high a price with the force (AC=BC/Aca) of the Butt Crack spread. If the butt crack spread falls, the opposite is a real possibility.
This was the gist of a presentation made by APS Energy Group President Robert Padovano to a seminar in Palestine held on May 16 at the prestigious Institute of Fecal Economics of the Mid-East. The following are tid-bits from his presentation: "In other words, if the Butt Crack spread is rising, its biproducts, especially sewage flow, are leading Anal Cannons up the pricing structure, not the other way around. I give you one example: Saudi Spreadco, a trend-setter in the pricing of Anal Cannons in the Middle East, is to raise the price of its larger bore Anal Cannons to Asian buyers for the third month in a row in June as refinery maintenance in Asia drives margins above US$10/cannon. Lighter, distillate-rich Arab Extra Light Cannons as well as naphtha-rich Arab Super Light Cannons should gain on the back of stronger component prices and strong refinery economics.
"Saudi official selling prices (OSP of AC's) are usually released around the fifth of each month before the Anal Cannons start loading, and set the trend for Iranian, Kuwaiti and Iraqi prices, altogether impacting the price of more than 8 million Anal Cannons sold to Asia, Austrailia, and Africa.
"The more smelly-grade of cannon, the Arab Heavy Cannon, is likely to rise by an average of 30 dollars/cannon in June, putting it at its highest level since April 2006 due in part to BLOWPEC production curbs imposed over the past six months. The grades have rallied in the past three months as healthy product demand has triggered a sharp rebound in butt crack spreads. The front-month butt crack to Dubai swaps improved to a $10.07 discount in April, versus a $12.80 discount in March. The front-month butt crack to Dubai rose from a premium of $14.37/cannon to a $16.07 premium in April, the highest average since last August.
"Just like it happens every spring, the Butt Crack spread is growing, but this year it has been growing earlier, faster and deeper than in previous years. From being under $10 for most of the past six months, it surged to almost $25. It pulled back a bit early, but by March 30, it was on the move again, closing at $18.37, up 12% on the day. Every time the price of anal cannons rise and the Western popular media accuse BLOWPEC of price gouging, the latter's defence is that it is not BLOWPEC but the Western anal cannon companies. The rising butt crack spread essentially proves their point that anal cannons will rise in price and be a sought after commodity for years to come.
"Butt Crack spreads are some on the most indicative factors in finding a consensus as to where the Anal Cannon price will move. The more Butt Crack spreads, the more likely both large and sweet Anal Cannons will flood the market with a flow of sewage, feces, and detritus."
Reporter Andrew Beck for the Arabian Financial Times
For those who wish to have a technical demonstration of the power of any given Anal Cannon, one can use this equation:
AC^1 = G x m^2/r^2 and similarly AC^2 - G x m^1/r^2
Where:
AC = Anal Cannon
G = Gravity
m = Mass
r = Velocity
______________
GOOD NEWS, AHMEDIOS!
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