I hope you're well man.
You're not alone, friend. I've been dealing with it for over a decade now.
I've been pretty good in last few years, (with few episodes from time to time), but now it's getting harder to resist. I don't know is it because I've reached the point where I just can't stand all the bad things that are going on, or I like to act like martyr. Thankfully I'm still good, I got the job (a shitty one, but still a job), and I'm killing myself in gym (yaay, I found an obsession to keep my mind of serious things), also oddly enough I'm an optimist and fighter, so that helps too.
