How each of us perceives the slings and arrows from others is subjective. It's different whether you're hypersensitive, you have a mental illness, you're taking drugs, and various shades of gray inbetween.
And no one on the outside can control that. You can't expect someone to say, "Ahh, I see you rank 8.3 on the personal offense scale, so instead of saying "Fuck off, loser", I'm going to say, "Sorry, tonight I have to wash my hair."??