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Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued: Proctor: I beg your pardon? Student: Sir, I request that you...

Vincenzo Iaquinta is a World Cup winning striker.

Heehaw

Went to a party last night. The DJ played all sit down, and we all sat down. Then he played Jump Around, and we all jumped around. Then it went wrong for me. I got kicked out when he played Come on Eileen.

I find him quite entertaining. I'm not saying I'd like him to mange a club I supported but he's a breath of fresh air.

Ian Holloway quotes "He's six foot something, fit as a flea, good looking - he's got to have something wrong with him. Hopefully he's hung like a hamster - That would make us all feel better. Having said that, me missus has got a pet hamster at home, and his cock's massive." - talking about...

I had a German plumber in the other day. He accidentally connected the gas supply to the shower - I guess old habits die hard!

Remember – drinking alcohol can seriously harm your baby. Especially if you’re in Portugal and can’t be bothered to pay for a babysitter.

A teenage lad returns home late from school at about 7pm, and his mother goes a bit mental "Where have you been?" she yells, "Your tea has been ready ages!!!" "Sorry mum, I was just round at Jessica's, revising", he says. The boy picks up a snack from the table "MMMMM, these fish cakes are...

Scouser sitting in a bar in Belfast. A gay guy is eyeing him up from across the bar and finally plucks up the courage to approach the scouser. 'Fancy a blowjob?' he whispers. The scouser picks up a bar stool and batters the man to a pulp before throwing him out the door. 'Jesus, that was rough'...

I got arrested in B&Q yesterday for punching Naomi Campbell. It wasn't my fault, my dad told me to go in and get a black and decker. (You probably won't get this one).

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and dad?" and she replied, "they're up in bed." The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "where's Mom and Dad?" and she...

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A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and...

Zero Debt In March 1992 a man living in Newton, near Boston, received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another and threw that one away, too. The following month the credit card company sent him a very...

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:lol: Thanks, Kosta.

Sorry for falsely accusing you, Andrew.