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There were these three guys at the lake, a German, an Englishman and a Nigerian. The German took out his dick, put it in the water, waited a while and told the others: "I can feel the temperature of the water. It's 32 degrees Celsius". The other two were amazed. "Let me try", the...

In a village in South America there was a young man who was what some people call a Casanova, good with the ladies. He had all kinds of ladies. He liked them all, fat ones, short ones, skinny ones, didn't matter. The trouble was that he had a true love, a virgin that he was saving for his...

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and...

Those were the days, Vlatko. These are the only jokes I can see after marriage though as little Johnny jokes are blocked for some reason in my PC.:cry:

:D What can I do?

A guy walks into a restaurant with his pet alligator. He asks the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers?" "Of course," said the bartender. "Well then, I'll have a beer, and my 'gator here will have a lawyer."

An old woman was taken to a gynecologist for the very first time, and of course the gynecologist was a very young and handsome fellow. The doctor was very thorough in his examination, and of course the old woman was quite embarrassed throughout the whole examination. Finally, the exam was over...

Although a bright and able man, my husband is almost completely helpless when faced with even the simplest domestic chore. One day, in exasperation, I pointed out to him that our friend, Betty, had taught her husband Frank to cook, sew and do laundry. If anything ever happened to Betty...

An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. 'You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301. There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow, pusha button 301. I will buzza you in. Come inside, the...

"Hi. This is Sarah Palin. Is Senator Lieberman in?" "No, governor. This is Yom Kippur." "Well, hello Yom. Can I leave a message?"

There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery...

The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily. "Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran...

:lol: That is the joke, Martin. The kid was too stupid to write that, but the father used his own way to prove that he can play his same game.

In the same logic, how could the son write about him not being able to catch the mailman in his own letter?

A college student wrote a letter home. It read, "Dear folks, I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me. Your son, Marvin. P.S. I felt so...

The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?" One child was ready with the answer, "They don't have a union."

Her husband had passed on, and the new widow was so distraught that she sought out a spiritualist who told her that her husband was just fine. She added further that he was eagerly awaiting a reunion with her. "Is there anything he needs?" the distraught woman asked, between tears. The...

This guy who stutters badly, walks into a bar, and says, "Ssay! Bbbartender, gggimme a bbbeer." The Bartender, who is badly humpbacked, serves him a beer and says, "That will be $2.50 please." The guy thinks that's pretty high priced and says, "Ddddamn! Ttthat's hhhigh!" The Bartender...

The eight-year old boy had never spoken a word-ever. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, "Soup's cold." His astonished mother exclaimed, "Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken...

There was a man who got a job as a hotel receptionist and his boss was giving him some tips the day before his very first shift on the phone. One of the tips was 'When showing the guests to their rooms, always be polite and say their names which is usually situated on the label on their...