My favs....Lock stock & 2 smoking barrels
Nick the Greek: Dunno. Seems expensive.
Tom: Seems? Well, this seems to be a complete waste of my time. That, my friend, is 900 nicker in any store you're lucky enough to find one in. And you're haggling over 200 pound? What school of finance did you come from Nick? "It's a deal, it's a steal, it's the Sale of the fvckng Century!" In fact, f*** it Nick, I think I'll keep it!
Nick the Greek: Alright alright, keep your Alans on!
[Peels off notes from his wad]
Nick the Greek: Here's a ton.
Tom, Eddie: Jesus Christ!
Eddie: You could choke a dozen donkeys on that! And you're haggling over one hundred pound? What're you doing when you're not buying stereos Nick? Finance revolutions?
Nick the Greek: 100 pound is still 100 pound.
Tom: Not when the price is 200 pound it ain't! And certainly not when you've got Liberia's deficit in your skyrocket. Tighter than a duck's *** you are. Now, lemme feel the fibre of your fabric.
Rory Breaker: What did you shoot him with, an air rifle?
Winston: Look, we grow weed. We're not mercenaries.
Rory Breaker: You don't say.
Bacon: What's that?
Samoan Joe's Barman: It's a cocktail. You asked for a cocktail.
Bacon: No. I asked for a refreshing drink! I didn't expect a fvcking rainforest? I could fall in love with an orangutan in that! Bring me a pint.
Samoan Joe's Barman: You want a pint, you go to the pub.
Bacon: This is a pub!
Samoan Joes Barman: It's a Samoan pub.
My favs from Snatch...
Customs official: Do you have anything to declare, sir?
Avi: Yeah. Don't go to England.
Turkish: F*** me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what?
"Zee Germans"?
Avi: Eighty-six carats.
Rosebud: Where?
Avi: London.
Rosebud: London?
Avi: London.
Gemologist: London?
Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fvcking Poppins... LONDON.
Vinny: Why are we stopped here? What's wrong with that spot?
Tyrone: It's too tight.
Vinny: Too tight? You could land a jumbo fvcking jet in that.
Turkish: What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?
Sausage Charlie: Five minutes, Turkish.
Turkish: It was two minutes five minutes ago.
Brick Top: Gimme that fvcking shooter.
Pikey: I'll give you that fvcking shooter you cunt hair.
Bullet Tooth Tony: A bookie's got blagged last night.
Avi: Blagged? Do me a favor, Tony, speak English. I thought this country spawned the fvcking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.