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THE NINE TYPES OF FOOTBALL FAN
Fan #1 - The Statto: This guy has never played the game in his life, but can tell you everything about the game, pre and post-war. It's impossible to win an argument against him. He will tell you who has made the most assists, tackles and cups of tea this season and whose fans are the loudest to the nearest decibel. But does he really care?
Fan #2 - The Season-Ticketer: This guy has not missed a home game for 46 years and knows all the songs. Though he rarely sings them. He prides himself on 'being there' the last time the team won anything. He hates those who don’t go to games and always, always drives there. Can usually be seen sitting in 'his seat' at half-time moaning about the team (even though they are 2-0 up) and the 'fairweather fans' (even though there are 42,000 in the ground for a Carling Cup first leg)
Fan #3 - The Ignoramus (Ig-nor-ray-moss): This ancient, primitive type of fan was suspected to be extinct during the Eighties. However, and quite remarkably, it re-emerged when ManYoo started winning again in the Nineties. Rarely violent, but always aggressive, this animal can be seen boasting about 'them' beating 'you', shortly before asking what the home ground's called, where it is and who are they playing, again?
Fan #4 - The Fair-Weather: I hate this breed. This fan thinks football is the best game ever when his team go unbeaten four games in a row and buys the home, away and third kit as well as putting the sticker on his car. Then, after two defeats (including one to the local rivals) suddenly claims he’s got 'more important things to worry about than football', calls you an ignoramus and then does some filing. Then when your team lose on Monday night (or whenever Sky decide games should be played) reiterates to you just how important this football lark is.
Fan #5 - The Journey Man: This guy goes to EVERY game. Home, away, abroad, outer space. He knows the songs and actually sings. He buys the fanzine. He has tattoos. He names his kid after the last player to score 30 goals in a season. He doesn’t like other fans and hates his fiancé’s brother because he supports 'them'. Can be scary.
Fan #6 - The Psycho: Doesn’t go to games. Just wears the 1987 strip every day and scowls. Never laughs. And that's never.
Fan #7 - The Bizarro Psycho: The opposite to above. Always smiles, even after a 5-0 drubbing by the team that’s bottom of the league. Doesn’t have a shirt; all money is better spent on alcohol.
Fan #8 - The Stalker: Goes to the training ground for pictures of him with the players (who look scared). Knows everything about his club, but nothing about other clubs. Truly believes his team have won the league every year for the past decade. And if you can convince him that they haven’t he starts to think it must be his fault. Then cries for the next two days. :LOL:
Fan #9 - The Football365 Fan: The chosen ones.
......
i'm not sure which one am i
THE NINE TYPES OF FOOTBALL FAN
Fan #1 - The Statto: This guy has never played the game in his life, but can tell you everything about the game, pre and post-war. It's impossible to win an argument against him. He will tell you who has made the most assists, tackles and cups of tea this season and whose fans are the loudest to the nearest decibel. But does he really care?
Fan #2 - The Season-Ticketer: This guy has not missed a home game for 46 years and knows all the songs. Though he rarely sings them. He prides himself on 'being there' the last time the team won anything. He hates those who don’t go to games and always, always drives there. Can usually be seen sitting in 'his seat' at half-time moaning about the team (even though they are 2-0 up) and the 'fairweather fans' (even though there are 42,000 in the ground for a Carling Cup first leg)
Fan #3 - The Ignoramus (Ig-nor-ray-moss): This ancient, primitive type of fan was suspected to be extinct during the Eighties. However, and quite remarkably, it re-emerged when ManYoo started winning again in the Nineties. Rarely violent, but always aggressive, this animal can be seen boasting about 'them' beating 'you', shortly before asking what the home ground's called, where it is and who are they playing, again?
Fan #4 - The Fair-Weather: I hate this breed. This fan thinks football is the best game ever when his team go unbeaten four games in a row and buys the home, away and third kit as well as putting the sticker on his car. Then, after two defeats (including one to the local rivals) suddenly claims he’s got 'more important things to worry about than football', calls you an ignoramus and then does some filing. Then when your team lose on Monday night (or whenever Sky decide games should be played) reiterates to you just how important this football lark is.
Fan #5 - The Journey Man: This guy goes to EVERY game. Home, away, abroad, outer space. He knows the songs and actually sings. He buys the fanzine. He has tattoos. He names his kid after the last player to score 30 goals in a season. He doesn’t like other fans and hates his fiancé’s brother because he supports 'them'. Can be scary.
Fan #6 - The Psycho: Doesn’t go to games. Just wears the 1987 strip every day and scowls. Never laughs. And that's never.
Fan #7 - The Bizarro Psycho: The opposite to above. Always smiles, even after a 5-0 drubbing by the team that’s bottom of the league. Doesn’t have a shirt; all money is better spent on alcohol.
Fan #8 - The Stalker: Goes to the training ground for pictures of him with the players (who look scared). Knows everything about his club, but nothing about other clubs. Truly believes his team have won the league every year for the past decade. And if you can convince him that they haven’t he starts to think it must be his fault. Then cries for the next two days. :LOL:
Fan #9 - The Football365 Fan: The chosen ones.
......
i'm not sure which one am i
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